(no subject)

[is_love_is]

I've been meaning to write a real entry about everything...that was about what i felt instead of just what was going on, but it's been really hard. I can't believe i've gotten so good at holding back tears, but in situations like this someone has to be the strong one that the other can depend on... and I never thought I'd be able to before, but now I know that I can. Everyday I think things should be getting better but it seems like it's just getting worse, emotionally and/or physically and when it looks like it's at the worst point for the day somehow it gets better and there's a new hope that tommorrow things will be better.

I realized that the thing that hurts me most is not seeing them laugh, the one thing I would like to see more than anything is for them to be genuinely happy about something and laugh. They're both such happy positive people, I miss that so much right now.

so the second doctor came today after what, 6 days, oh well at least he came today, dan's definitely not getting surgery but he'll still be there for a while longer. the beginning of next week is celebration central 3month-birthday-halloween sunday monday and tuesday...i hope i can spend them all at the hospital...and yes i will be going in costume on halloween