Detective Verse: Bad Romance
With Ford settled in her lap, Jo looked over at Dean sprawled in the chair next to her bed. He looked like he could use a hospital stay with the bags under his eyes and she thought he might have lost a little weight. She knew the cause too. It wasn’t hard for her to figure out.
“They’re not going to let me leave for another few weeks,” she said as she scratched between Ford’s ears. “Some of the tests came back with some elevated something or other, so they want to make sure I don’t have an infection or something.”
“I’ll keep an eye on Ford, don’t worry.” Dean gave her a reassuring smile, but she could see how tight it was around the corners of his mouth.
She sighed. She couldn’t believe how quickly everything had fallen apart around them just because she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her mother was in worse condition than Dean. Jo had agreed to move in with her after the hospital just because she thought her mom needed help more than she did.
One bullet at done a lot of damage to the muscles around her shoulder. It was immobilized for now, but her physical therapy had already started. The pain was pretty bad and she thought her therapist was pushing her too hard too fast but she couldn’t say anything to convince him to stop. She’d need help doing simple things like cooking, looking after Ford and hundreds of other tasks. Her mom would help her and she’d help her mom.
“Dean… can you do something for me?” she asked, keeping her hand busy with Ford’s ears.
“Sure, whatcha need?”
“I need you to give something to Sam for me the next time you visit.”
“Jo…”
She shook her head. “I have to do it. He left me first.”
“You know it’s more complicated than that.” Dean leaned forward and reached for her hand, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. “We’ve seen it on the job, addiction tears a person apart.”
“I know.”
She did know. She could guess how hard it had been for Sam, for all her friends but he had gone back instead of looking to the family they built out of friends. It hurt and maybe it was just the near death experience talking but life was too short for her to waste it on pain and waiting for him to decide sobriety was worth it.
“But I can’t keep holding him up. Neither can you, Dean. He’s got to face the consequences this time and I’m… I’m one of them.”
It hurt like hell saying that. She loved Sam, had always loved Sam but she couldn’t love him and the drugs. She couldn’t take that. Maybe she was weak, maybe she was wrong, she didn’t know but she knew she had to do this or else be swallowed up whole. Maybe if he got sober they could have a life together, but she wasn’t going to say that to Dean. She’d put it in his letter and if Sam wanted to tell Dean he could, but she was letting Dean know it was over.
He sighed and squeezed her hand. “I can’t change your mind?”
She shook her head, blinking back tears.
“Alright. Next time you can hand it over. I’ll tell Sam.”
“Thanks,” she whispered, a few tears dropping down on top of Ford’s head making his ears twitch.
“They’re not going to let me leave for another few weeks,” she said as she scratched between Ford’s ears. “Some of the tests came back with some elevated something or other, so they want to make sure I don’t have an infection or something.”
“I’ll keep an eye on Ford, don’t worry.” Dean gave her a reassuring smile, but she could see how tight it was around the corners of his mouth.
She sighed. She couldn’t believe how quickly everything had fallen apart around them just because she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her mother was in worse condition than Dean. Jo had agreed to move in with her after the hospital just because she thought her mom needed help more than she did.
One bullet at done a lot of damage to the muscles around her shoulder. It was immobilized for now, but her physical therapy had already started. The pain was pretty bad and she thought her therapist was pushing her too hard too fast but she couldn’t say anything to convince him to stop. She’d need help doing simple things like cooking, looking after Ford and hundreds of other tasks. Her mom would help her and she’d help her mom.
“Dean… can you do something for me?” she asked, keeping her hand busy with Ford’s ears.
“Sure, whatcha need?”
“I need you to give something to Sam for me the next time you visit.”
“Jo…”
She shook her head. “I have to do it. He left me first.”
“You know it’s more complicated than that.” Dean leaned forward and reached for her hand, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. “We’ve seen it on the job, addiction tears a person apart.”
“I know.”
She did know. She could guess how hard it had been for Sam, for all her friends but he had gone back instead of looking to the family they built out of friends. It hurt and maybe it was just the near death experience talking but life was too short for her to waste it on pain and waiting for him to decide sobriety was worth it.
“But I can’t keep holding him up. Neither can you, Dean. He’s got to face the consequences this time and I’m… I’m one of them.”
It hurt like hell saying that. She loved Sam, had always loved Sam but she couldn’t love him and the drugs. She couldn’t take that. Maybe she was weak, maybe she was wrong, she didn’t know but she knew she had to do this or else be swallowed up whole. Maybe if he got sober they could have a life together, but she wasn’t going to say that to Dean. She’d put it in his letter and if Sam wanted to tell Dean he could, but she was letting Dean know it was over.
He sighed and squeezed her hand. “I can’t change your mind?”
She shook her head, blinking back tears.
“Alright. Next time you can hand it over. I’ll tell Sam.”
“Thanks,” she whispered, a few tears dropping down on top of Ford’s head making his ears twitch.