Life's Speeding Train...
Every Monday I wake feeling "where the heck did the weekend go?" Today is no different. I cannot believe it is September 25. I'm glad about that because fall is my absolute favorite time of year. The weather starts to change albeit not so dramatically in Florida, but the cooler temperatures are a blessing. And with fall comes trips up north to see the beautiful colored leaves that I miss so much. And of course, with fall comes football season. We are traveling to Ohio in a couple of weeks for my cousin's wedding. We are spending the weekend in Cleveland, which I have not been to in quite some time. I look forward to the weather and the break from all the chaos we call life these days!
Work has been overwhelming. I've inherited several more cases and my schedule is constantly changing. Though under normal circumstances, I would not mind this busyness at all... in my current condition, I don't know how I am going to feel until I wake up that morning. And though the "morning sickness" has passed somewhat, it does still seem to rear its ugly head on occasion. Thankfully, we did hire a new attorney, who actually starts today! And he will be taking on some of the caseload that has been sort of dropped on me. So, I hope to see a reprieve in that area soon. But the stressful part of this whole work thing is that the woman who hired me recently announced that she will be leaving. I have had a couple of conversations with the "higher ups" surrounding my position and my pregnancy. Everyone seems to be on the same page, but I just don't have that same comfort zone feeling as I did knowing who my was. But I am adapting to the change.
I've been working a lot with my therapist on stopping the guilt I constantly place on myself. I'm always feeling bad for doing or saying something because I am always so worried about everyone else... even those people who have hurt me most. We, of course, have been focusing most of this attention on how to deal with my mother. I grew up in a world where guilt was such a weapon. I was guilted into so many things growing up and now that guilt follows me everywhere. I have set up boundaries with my mother, which have held pretty strong over recent years. But that does not mean that she has respected my boundaries. And I have had to draw firm lines with her, especially with the first grandchild on the way. I am learning that I cannot change her reactions to things and that I have learn to accept her reaction even if she is tossing out her famous guilt trip. Its a slow process after being conditioned so long, but I'm learning!!!!
As for the little one, I'm heading to the doctor's this Thursday for another follow up. And in October we go for an ultra sound to find out the sex of the baby! As I said earlier, the morning sickness has lifted a bit, but still seems to show up now and again. I have almost outgrown my clothes. I may have a week or two left in these size 6 pants before I have to seek out more expandable clothes. But its sort of fun watching your body change so dramatically. I said to a friend of ours this weekend that I felt like there was an alien in my body... like my body was no longer my own. But its weird because it is also beautiful!
Anyway, the new attorney is here! I must run!
Work has been overwhelming. I've inherited several more cases and my schedule is constantly changing. Though under normal circumstances, I would not mind this busyness at all... in my current condition, I don't know how I am going to feel until I wake up that morning. And though the "morning sickness" has passed somewhat, it does still seem to rear its ugly head on occasion. Thankfully, we did hire a new attorney, who actually starts today! And he will be taking on some of the caseload that has been sort of dropped on me. So, I hope to see a reprieve in that area soon. But the stressful part of this whole work thing is that the woman who hired me recently announced that she will be leaving. I have had a couple of conversations with the "higher ups" surrounding my position and my pregnancy. Everyone seems to be on the same page, but I just don't have that same comfort zone feeling as I did knowing who my was. But I am adapting to the change.
I've been working a lot with my therapist on stopping the guilt I constantly place on myself. I'm always feeling bad for doing or saying something because I am always so worried about everyone else... even those people who have hurt me most. We, of course, have been focusing most of this attention on how to deal with my mother. I grew up in a world where guilt was such a weapon. I was guilted into so many things growing up and now that guilt follows me everywhere. I have set up boundaries with my mother, which have held pretty strong over recent years. But that does not mean that she has respected my boundaries. And I have had to draw firm lines with her, especially with the first grandchild on the way. I am learning that I cannot change her reactions to things and that I have learn to accept her reaction even if she is tossing out her famous guilt trip. Its a slow process after being conditioned so long, but I'm learning!!!!
As for the little one, I'm heading to the doctor's this Thursday for another follow up. And in October we go for an ultra sound to find out the sex of the baby! As I said earlier, the morning sickness has lifted a bit, but still seems to show up now and again. I have almost outgrown my clothes. I may have a week or two left in these size 6 pants before I have to seek out more expandable clothes. But its sort of fun watching your body change so dramatically. I said to a friend of ours this weekend that I felt like there was an alien in my body... like my body was no longer my own. But its weird because it is also beautiful!
Anyway, the new attorney is here! I must run!