(no subject)
Me and Kyley are done. Im ok with it. Shes done things in the past couple days that make me want to move on as well. Theres still things about her i love and cherish, shes a great girl that got stressed out when times were tough and flipped. It happens to the best of us, i hope shes gets her stuff together and has a happy life. Last night i had to not worry about looking crazy and just go wake her up in the middle of the night to give her a box of all of our stuff, ticket stubs, pictures etc etc. I think she got the impression i was trying to make her feel bad... which totally wasnt the case, its just the only way i could let go. I wish that she had come to me with some issues before now, so that they couldve been worked out, we had a ton of potential. She just seems to think that everything i do is meant to hurt her. I invited her to my late bday bonfire, she took that as me trying to spite her or something. Im reading her response thinking to myself "what the hell is going on, i just wanted you to be there..." Maybe she'll wake up, maybe she'll open up and talk and see where it goes. Id love to see if it could work again someday... provided shes ready to be an open, caring person. But that time is not now. Unless by some act of god, seeing all the things i laid before her last night made her see reality. Things are going so good for her now, work, school, everythings falling into place... and im so happy for that cuz she was struggling only a few weeks ago. Ive tried to talk to her, tried to open her eyes, but with a little help from Jessica... i now see that she will probably figure everything out, but shes going to have to do it on her own. If i help her get her shit straight, shes never gonna fully believe that its what she wants, shes going to feel cohersed, persuaded, etc etc. Its just so frustrating right now... EVERYTHING i do is meant to be proactive and positive, and no matter what i do, she thinks im out to hurt her. It leaves me speechless like, thoughts running through my head about when i could tell her that i loved her and thats all she would hear... the words "i love you" not "i want you for myself" or "you cant have anyone but me" but just simply what i mean "i love you" Shes smart... she'll figure it out, and if she doesnt let her pride get in her way, she'll call me, and tell me what went wrong, and at least ill have a friend. Its out of my hands now, i trust she'll do the right thing.
I just wish i couldve been sitting at her window with a suprise to put a smile on her face, instead of a box of painful memories.
Maybe one day she'll be sitting at mine, with a heartfelt suprise for me... Hey! Something to wish for for Christmas =]
And let me tell you this, for all of you that think that us breaking up is a "good ridance," shes been harsh lately, but an open, honest, straightfoward, and loving Kyley is the greatest gift anyone could get... i didnt fall in love with her for nothing. I appreciate all of you trying to help me feel better by telling me that shes not worth my time, but there is something inside that girl that none of you have ever seen nor will you understand and if you did, you'd understand why im moving on, but leaving the door open for that great person inside of her to give me a call.
I just wish i couldve been sitting at her window with a suprise to put a smile on her face, instead of a box of painful memories.
Maybe one day she'll be sitting at mine, with a heartfelt suprise for me... Hey! Something to wish for for Christmas =]
And let me tell you this, for all of you that think that us breaking up is a "good ridance," shes been harsh lately, but an open, honest, straightfoward, and loving Kyley is the greatest gift anyone could get... i didnt fall in love with her for nothing. I appreciate all of you trying to help me feel better by telling me that shes not worth my time, but there is something inside that girl that none of you have ever seen nor will you understand and if you did, you'd understand why im moving on, but leaving the door open for that great person inside of her to give me a call.