(no subject)
Poll Journaling...(just for fun)
I'm thinking of updating my journal theme, it's been the same for 4yrs! But since it's a custom one I did (off a template) I'm afraid if I change and then decide I want this back I won't be able too. So I'll probably just keep this because I don't like change...which leads me to my actual topic...yes I had a point!
I have come farther in the last 5yrs then I ever thought possible. I have grown as person with an ASD to the point that I can pass as kooky or geeky instead of disturbed/ unpredictable/ strigent. And a lot of that is due to John and especially Erin. You see I realized my weaknesses long ago but I never wanted them to affect my kids (as much as I can control). So I figured since I'm on the spectrum and John is geeky borderline NT, I needed to prepare Erin early to stave off any future problems. So as soon as she realized that other creatures live & interact beyond just serving her, I started going to a playgroup on Hurlburt AFB. I was horribly uncomfortable for weeks but she loves it and is beginning to play with the same toy as another kid in unison (what's called paralell play). So I decided that since she enjoyed interaction with other kids I would find other kids to have (single) playdates with. But since I wasn't comfortable with the playgroup mommies (then, more so now) I went to my old standby - online friends. There are 2 that live in the county on a board I belong to (all Nov 07 babies), so we started meeting up. It was originally just for Erin's benefit to socialize her early so that if she does have an ASD it wouldn't be so bad for her. But I figured out that I now only like these 2 ladies online but I really enjoy their company in person too! And I'm actually comfortable around them, I don't feel like I have to "rev" myself up to meet with them. So with that success, one of them & I decided to meet another mom from the board visiting Panama City area (1.5hr away) and that was a blast too! It's amazing that I've learned & grown more through my 9mth old daughter then I did in the 22yrs previous to her!
This is a very positive thing but I've also come to realize that ASD has limited me in some other ways I still can't really control. There are times when I simply can't handle the constant noise (good or bad but of course the latter is worse) and I have to put her in crib (with toys, book & sippie) for awhile so I can regroup. I know she's safe & has things to keep her entertained but I still feel so guilty! And I still get overwhelmed with several things at once and just can't seem to grip on things for awhile - luckily the few times that's happened either Erin wasn't here or napping. And of course John & I still have communication isssues but other then it being rooted in ASD how different is that from any couple?
So overall with the past 9mths as evidence, I declare myself as a successful wife & other that just happens to have an ASD :D
I'm thinking of updating my journal theme, it's been the same for 4yrs! But since it's a custom one I did (off a template) I'm afraid if I change and then decide I want this back I won't be able too. So I'll probably just keep this because I don't like change...which leads me to my actual topic...yes I had a point!
I have come farther in the last 5yrs then I ever thought possible. I have grown as person with an ASD to the point that I can pass as kooky or geeky instead of disturbed/ unpredictable/ strigent. And a lot of that is due to John and especially Erin. You see I realized my weaknesses long ago but I never wanted them to affect my kids (as much as I can control). So I figured since I'm on the spectrum and John is geeky borderline NT, I needed to prepare Erin early to stave off any future problems. So as soon as she realized that other creatures live & interact beyond just serving her, I started going to a playgroup on Hurlburt AFB. I was horribly uncomfortable for weeks but she loves it and is beginning to play with the same toy as another kid in unison (what's called paralell play). So I decided that since she enjoyed interaction with other kids I would find other kids to have (single) playdates with. But since I wasn't comfortable with the playgroup mommies (then, more so now) I went to my old standby - online friends. There are 2 that live in the county on a board I belong to (all Nov 07 babies), so we started meeting up. It was originally just for Erin's benefit to socialize her early so that if she does have an ASD it wouldn't be so bad for her. But I figured out that I now only like these 2 ladies online but I really enjoy their company in person too! And I'm actually comfortable around them, I don't feel like I have to "rev" myself up to meet with them. So with that success, one of them & I decided to meet another mom from the board visiting Panama City area (1.5hr away) and that was a blast too! It's amazing that I've learned & grown more through my 9mth old daughter then I did in the 22yrs previous to her!
This is a very positive thing but I've also come to realize that ASD has limited me in some other ways I still can't really control. There are times when I simply can't handle the constant noise (good or bad but of course the latter is worse) and I have to put her in crib (with toys, book & sippie) for awhile so I can regroup. I know she's safe & has things to keep her entertained but I still feel so guilty! And I still get overwhelmed with several things at once and just can't seem to grip on things for awhile - luckily the few times that's happened either Erin wasn't here or napping. And of course John & I still have communication isssues but other then it being rooted in ASD how different is that from any couple?
So overall with the past 9mths as evidence, I declare myself as a successful wife & other that just happens to have an ASD :D