It's offical we are moving
We made the decison to move. We made the decison to move to California 8 years ago this week and now 7 years later we made the choice to move back to where we feel like we are home, Minnesota.
When we moved to Minnesota the first time, people kept asking me if I was crazy to move from California to Minnesota. Now, if the ask me if I am crazy, I can answer them with full sincerity that the only thing crazy I have done in the last 20 years was move back to California.
Now, I know when we moved we said there were a lot of reasons including the dramatic weather - we left before the polar plunges. We said, we had family out here. We said my youngest daughter was here and I wanted to try to have a relationship with her. We said we got a job offer that was too good to be true (it was). Well lets take some stock in those reasons for moving to CA
1. My family lived here and I wanted to be closer to family after the death of my mother. (That was a good reason to right? Right!) Reality, since moving to California I have learned that there are two types of family. The family you share DNA with and your chosen family, your tribe. In the 7 years we have been back, I have not seen my brother at all. In fact, the last time I heard anything from my brother was when he called me a fucking judas because I would (1) Would not let him speak on my behalf over my mom's will and (2) because I would not side with him (for the record I did not side with my sister's either) over my mom's house. He thought it should be sold - but the house was in foreclosure because my Alzheimers ridden mother, had just stop making payments on the second mortagage she had on it.
My oldest sister and I have seen each other twice in the past 19 years. Once at her daughter's graduation party before we moved to MN the first time and once shortly after we moved there. Now, here is the thing with my older sister. We were never close. She is 8 years older than me. She was raised by my mother primarly. My mother who was obsessed with being a Norman Rockwell family. At time this made Kim be the mom as my mother focused on trying to make sure people did not know when my dad was sick. Kim also was the one who had to take care of my mom's medical things after she had a stroke and fell into the Alzheimer's. With this being said, I am not hurt or mad that we are not close. I would have liked it but Kim and I are like Earth and Mars. We are part of the same solar system but we are completly different planets.
My sister Kathy and I, again we have never been close. She was 5 years older than me. My mother loved to constantly compare me to her. She was the perfect sister, who was the perfect student who went to UCLA. She was the perfect child who was hand picked by a fortune 500 company - you get the idea and I resented her for a really long time. I mean I litterally would get really depressed when she would come to visit because for weeks before and weeks after because she was the golden child and my mother would remind me that I was not as good as her. We have seen each other a couple of times. Mostly because she lives in Denver /Houston and her husband is a complete dick. I can say this here because she will never read it. I mean it, my brother in law is a racist peice of shit. So, if it means that I don't have to be near him, lets put it the last time I saw him, it took everything for me not to fly across the table and bash him in the face for fun. As Irish, he will tell you.
So four siblings who can't be in the same room together, well, that is us. So being close to family means nothing anymore. I mean seriously if it weren't for social media I don't think any of us would know what is going on the others lives. So the reason to move her to be closer to family - NOT HERE. It is okay. It is life - I want to be closer to my chosen family most live in Minnesota.
2) We are moving to California to be closer to my daughter Shannon. This one is simple. 2 years ago my daughter got married to a young marine. He is still active duty and last year they were transfered to New York State. Again, there is social media. Shannon and I are better than we have been in the past but there is a long way to go.
3)The job that was too good to pass up. Well you know the old sayig if something is too good, there has to be some kind of catch. This job where they were litterally calling us as we are getting on the plane to make sure he would be there on Monday morning for work....we did one big thing wrong on this job - we forgot to get anything in writing. Why is this important? Well, when Irish showed up for work on Monday, there was no job to show up for. You see, the call on Friday, should have told us that the company was in the midst of a hostil takeover and the who IT department was being laid off and there was no position to have.
.... To be continued....