Posting from 37,000 ft
Been awhile since I posted. Right now I'm flying from Las Vegas to Detroit and on to Syracuse, NY. Long week to say the least. I am really sick of PPD. I feel used and betrayed and misled. It's very disappointing.
Used because I am almost not allowed to say no. Hence the reason I'm flyin from one end of the country to the next and only have a total of 4 days in the office per month.
Betrayed and misled because they have stopped reimbursing for home office expenses despite promising said items for people who relocated with the CRA Relocation Program. Instead they have supplied us with a Blackberry and expect us to tether, or pay for our own Internet. It's really frustrating to be funding part of your company's operating costs. Really dumb too. Plus I'm exhausted. I get no support. I fly from Mminneapolis to Arizona and Florida, the West and South regions, respectively. I was led to believe I would have mostly Central travel if I moved here, but that has yet to happen.
And most of all I'm sick of having no opportunity to advance my skills. I keep getting passed up for promotions because other people have been here longer. Not that they are doing a better job, that they are 'owed' something because they put in the time. Plus there will be no changes for me in the remote future. There are Sr CRAs who have been with the company for 7-8 years who still have the same fundamental role as I do. I can't invest that amount of time to become a Sr CRA if I'm still doing CRA I work. I need a challenge, I need to use my brain. I need to be home often enough to see my kitties and make friends and hang out with my family. I'm never home. I am NEVER home.
I was contacted by a recruiter for what is essentially the best job opportunity someone like me could get. Had I the chance to write my perfect job description, this would be it. 40% national and international travel, draft protocols and study documents, act as the main point of contact for budgets and protocols, over see a global Phase III clinical trial, select and mentor CROs. Oh my god. I would kill for this job. I would make ritual sacrifices to the god of CRA job opportunities were there such a thing. Virgins to Odin, babies to Freya, chaos to Loki, power to Thor! This is what I want. This is what my soul needs. It is what my intellect yearns for!
And it's a great company. Great company.
But my resume is in the second round of resumes. Meaning a group of candidates has already been brought forth. Will be interviewing soon. And I can't help but assume their qualifications match or are greater than mine. And the recruiter has not had feedback from the client about my resume yet. I just hope they don't select someone from this first round of interviews. All I need is the chance to speak with them. Wow them with my enthusiasm and knowledge, and near super-powers of interviewing skills. I want this job so badly I could die. The opportunity to work on a global trial and mentor CRAs in Australia or Russia or maybe my new favorite place on earth, Finland.
So I pray to the Universe and throw all my positivity (of which there is little to spare these days) to the wind, hoping to at least get the chance to interview. That's all I ask for...
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I'm on the plane and my two neighbors are snoring up a storm. I've come to realize that I'm attracted to some really strange things in men. Cross-eyes and permanently scratchy voice? I'm there! A little bit too hairy in the neck/shoulder region? Hubba hubba! Red-headed with a purple face? Yes please!
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Please Universe...please
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