Fed Ex Can Go to Hell
TUESDAY
I drive up 3rd street on my way home. I usually pause at the intersection of 3rd and Olympic to see if there are any parking spaces in front of my building on either side of the road. But on Tuesday I couldn't spy down the road in my usual manner because there was a FedEx truck blocking my line of sight.
Grumbling to myself, I drove up one block, found a spot almost immediately, and parked. I walked back to my apartment only to find a "We tried delivering a package" slip from FedEx stuck to my door.
Oh, the irony.
I call FedEx to see if I could quickly have the driver make a U-turn and deliver the package again:
No, sorry, this is a residential delivery. They will attempt tomorrow around the same time and you can leave the signed tag at your door instructing the driver to leave the package.
Really? Same time? Are you sure?
The drivers are really good about sticking to the same delivery schedule, so I feel comfortable telling you it will be delivered around the same time tomorrow
Okay, thank you!
Level of annoyance = virtually none
WEDNESDAY
I leave work early so as to be at home around the same time as the projected FedEx delivery. I get to my house at 3, only to find the package was delivered at 1pm.
Sigh...but okay, that happens. I did think I had a good chance of intercepting the package deliverer, but I also had been surprised on Tuesday by the tele-lady's confidence that the package would be delivered at a similar time.
Level of annoyance = virutally none
I hang the "Please Leave the Package at the Door" part of the slip and stick it to my door.
TODAY
Stephen and I leave early to watch the Dexter season opener on my DVR and to catch up on some episodes of HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother). As we are pulling up to my apartment around 130pm, I see a Fed Ex truck down the road, headed my direction. I say That's my FedEx guy and Stephen drops me off on the corner so that I am at home to get my package.
I decide not to chance a skipped delivery and wait outside. The FexEx driver passes my house...but he is on the street perpendicular to mine...no big deal.
Stephen drives by a few times searching for a parking spot. I am still waiting outside for FedEx.
I see the FedEx driver on my street, a block away, dropping off another package. He jumps in his truck and heads my way.
And passes my house, disappearing over the hill three blocks away. WTF?
I wait outside until Stephen comes and we go into the house. Now, the layout of my neighborhood dictates that for said FedEx guy to deliver my package to my house, he will have to pass by all the windows of my tiny studio apartment. Thus, I open my curtains and position myself on my bed, which looks out all four windows. I make sure my phone is rightnexttome because my doorbell is hooked up to my phone. Also...my studio is the apartment immediately to the left of the main door. I know everyone who knocks that door, passes through that door, is buzzed in, or who uses the call box.
All set, we flip on Dexter and wait. 2pm. I check outside. No package. No FedEx. 3pm. I check outside. No package. No FedEx. 4pm. No package. No FedEx. I finally call FedEx.
We attempted delivery on your package on Thursday, September 30th at 2:53 pm
Um...no you didn't. No you definately did not!
The driver has tracked the package at that time as 'No one home. Apartment not suitable for drop off'
Um. No. No FedEx guy came to my apartment. He delivered a package at my neighbor's house a block up. And then he drove past my house and never showed up again.
No, he tried delivering at 2:53
No, he didn't! I was here looking out my window the whole time. He came to my neighborhood and drove past my house!
Well he tried and no one was home
Um. If he tried how come my door bell never rang? How come I never saw him outside my apartment? My apartment windows look directly at the street and at the apartment door. I have been home all afternoon specifically waiting for the package. No one came to the door. MY FRIEND was here with me the whole time and he agrees that no one came to my door. If the driver tried, how come another package delivery slip wasn't left? How come the package wasn't left at the door? I signed a form saying packages could be left at my door.
Ma'am, he attempted the final pacakage delivery at 2:53pm. You can pick the package up tomorrow in Kent. It is our not in our policy to make a fourth attempt
Kent is over a half hour drive and why should I have to pick it up if the third attempt was never actually ever made?? Is it your policy not to ring a door bell? Or knock on a door? Or ignore a request for a package to be left? No one came!! No attempt was made!!
The attempt was made at...
AUGH NO IT FUCKING WASN'T!
Yea...it really went downhill from there. I think I used the words "Fuck" and nearly called "Kent", "Cunt". Because they won't make a fourth attempt, or leave the package, or deliver it to a different location. I'm the receiver, not the shipper so I apparently have no power. But fucking hell I am so fucking pissed! It is a bold face lie that a delivery attempt was made. That FedEx driver is lying, plugging false information into his little tracker so that he can go smoke a bowl or whatever. There is absolutely no chance in hell that he tried. No chance in hell.
Now I get to drive my ass to FUCKING KENT tomorrow morning. On top of all the shit I need to do to get my ass moved to Minneapolis.
But yea, FedEx can suck my huge hanging cock because that fucking driver is a liar.
I drive up 3rd street on my way home. I usually pause at the intersection of 3rd and Olympic to see if there are any parking spaces in front of my building on either side of the road. But on Tuesday I couldn't spy down the road in my usual manner because there was a FedEx truck blocking my line of sight.
Grumbling to myself, I drove up one block, found a spot almost immediately, and parked. I walked back to my apartment only to find a "We tried delivering a package" slip from FedEx stuck to my door.
Oh, the irony.
I call FedEx to see if I could quickly have the driver make a U-turn and deliver the package again:
No, sorry, this is a residential delivery. They will attempt tomorrow around the same time and you can leave the signed tag at your door instructing the driver to leave the package.
Really? Same time? Are you sure?
The drivers are really good about sticking to the same delivery schedule, so I feel comfortable telling you it will be delivered around the same time tomorrow
Okay, thank you!
Level of annoyance = virtually none
WEDNESDAY
I leave work early so as to be at home around the same time as the projected FedEx delivery. I get to my house at 3, only to find the package was delivered at 1pm.
Sigh...but okay, that happens. I did think I had a good chance of intercepting the package deliverer, but I also had been surprised on Tuesday by the tele-lady's confidence that the package would be delivered at a similar time.
Level of annoyance = virutally none
I hang the "Please Leave the Package at the Door" part of the slip and stick it to my door.
TODAY
Stephen and I leave early to watch the Dexter season opener on my DVR and to catch up on some episodes of HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother). As we are pulling up to my apartment around 130pm, I see a Fed Ex truck down the road, headed my direction. I say That's my FedEx guy and Stephen drops me off on the corner so that I am at home to get my package.
I decide not to chance a skipped delivery and wait outside. The FexEx driver passes my house...but he is on the street perpendicular to mine...no big deal.
Stephen drives by a few times searching for a parking spot. I am still waiting outside for FedEx.
I see the FedEx driver on my street, a block away, dropping off another package. He jumps in his truck and heads my way.
And passes my house, disappearing over the hill three blocks away. WTF?
I wait outside until Stephen comes and we go into the house. Now, the layout of my neighborhood dictates that for said FedEx guy to deliver my package to my house, he will have to pass by all the windows of my tiny studio apartment. Thus, I open my curtains and position myself on my bed, which looks out all four windows. I make sure my phone is rightnexttome because my doorbell is hooked up to my phone. Also...my studio is the apartment immediately to the left of the main door. I know everyone who knocks that door, passes through that door, is buzzed in, or who uses the call box.
All set, we flip on Dexter and wait. 2pm. I check outside. No package. No FedEx. 3pm. I check outside. No package. No FedEx. 4pm. No package. No FedEx. I finally call FedEx.
We attempted delivery on your package on Thursday, September 30th at 2:53 pm
Um...no you didn't. No you definately did not!
The driver has tracked the package at that time as 'No one home. Apartment not suitable for drop off'
Um. No. No FedEx guy came to my apartment. He delivered a package at my neighbor's house a block up. And then he drove past my house and never showed up again.
No, he tried delivering at 2:53
No, he didn't! I was here looking out my window the whole time. He came to my neighborhood and drove past my house!
Well he tried and no one was home
Um. If he tried how come my door bell never rang? How come I never saw him outside my apartment? My apartment windows look directly at the street and at the apartment door. I have been home all afternoon specifically waiting for the package. No one came to the door. MY FRIEND was here with me the whole time and he agrees that no one came to my door. If the driver tried, how come another package delivery slip wasn't left? How come the package wasn't left at the door? I signed a form saying packages could be left at my door.
Ma'am, he attempted the final pacakage delivery at 2:53pm. You can pick the package up tomorrow in Kent. It is our not in our policy to make a fourth attempt
Kent is over a half hour drive and why should I have to pick it up if the third attempt was never actually ever made?? Is it your policy not to ring a door bell? Or knock on a door? Or ignore a request for a package to be left? No one came!! No attempt was made!!
The attempt was made at...
AUGH NO IT FUCKING WASN'T!
Yea...it really went downhill from there. I think I used the words "Fuck" and nearly called "Kent", "Cunt". Because they won't make a fourth attempt, or leave the package, or deliver it to a different location. I'm the receiver, not the shipper so I apparently have no power. But fucking hell I am so fucking pissed! It is a bold face lie that a delivery attempt was made. That FedEx driver is lying, plugging false information into his little tracker so that he can go smoke a bowl or whatever. There is absolutely no chance in hell that he tried. No chance in hell.
Now I get to drive my ass to FUCKING KENT tomorrow morning. On top of all the shit I need to do to get my ass moved to Minneapolis.
But yea, FedEx can suck my huge hanging cock because that fucking driver is a liar.