(no subject)
People keep reading this, so I'll keep all you people entertained and update for once...
First off, I NEED SLEEP! I havent slept the last 2 nights. Monday night I went to bed at 6am, only to wake up at 8:15 to finish my paper. I stumbled down to class to hand it in, and found that there were less than 10 other people there. Everyone bitched about how this paper was stupid and that we couldnt find anything on them. I dont even know if I wrote the paper correctly, or wrote anything near what he was looking for, but I dont feel as bad now knowing that someone else was only able to write 2 pages.
Last night I went to bed at like 5, because I was writing yet another paper. Let me just say... FUCK YOU, BILL WINE! I hate that man. Yes, he can be pretty amusing at times... yes, he is very good at what he does, but he's just an asshole. I dont know why a teacher feels the need to criticize people and tell people that their opinion is wrong. Whatever... I'm done with that man, I just have to pass his final... *crosses fingers* I finished his stupid paper around 3, but by that time I was so overtired that my second wind kicked in and I was wide awake... I finally fell asleep around 5, I think.
Now on to a more serious topic...
Three people have passed away recently. I wasnt close with any of them, but seeing how people have been taking it all, it has really made me think. First off, I feel like such an asshole and a horrible person. For 2 years I fought with someone over the stupidest thing and she hated me for something that I couldnt really control. I wanted so badly to fix things because someone lied about me and told the family that I said a lot of shit behind someone's back that I would never ever say about anyone, but it was too late. The family got a different idea about me and now hate me, and nothing that I could ever say or do could ever fix that. And now that Janis is gone, I really cant ever fix anything. I just wish that she knew that I never said the things she thought I did about her family and knows that I'm really not a bad person. When I first heard what had happened, my first reaction was about how Marlena and Amanda were. We had our differences, and we didnt get along, but dealing with their mother in a coma is not something they should ever have to go through at this age. I dont know why, but I laid in bed one night and just cried. At first I was just upset, then I got mad. For so long Scott bitched about me to that family and they hate me, so I couldnt even do or say anything to anyone in that family right now because of him, and I dont like that. I wish I was able to tell him how I really feel about him and how much I hate him now more than ever because of all this... but I cant, and even if I could, I'm in a better place now, finally starting to get over things and there's no way I'd ever talk to him again if I had the choice.
Moving on...
Seeing peoples reactions to losing these people has really made me realize that I take people for granted. I go to bed at night knowing I'll wake up and my friends and family will all still be here. I've thought about all the people that I havent talked to in awhile and thought about why we havent talked. Everyone that I know has touched me in some way or another, both good or bad, and I'm grateful for these people. Everything can change so quickly, and you can never take anything for granted. When I've talked to my friends the last couple days, I've just been happy that I have these people in my life and I've been grateful to be surrounded by the group of people that I have and I wouldnt ever change anything.
This is a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. I really cant put my thoughts into words right now. So I'll just leave by saying... To everyone in my life, I love you all and I'm happy to have each and everyone of you by my side.
First off, I NEED SLEEP! I havent slept the last 2 nights. Monday night I went to bed at 6am, only to wake up at 8:15 to finish my paper. I stumbled down to class to hand it in, and found that there were less than 10 other people there. Everyone bitched about how this paper was stupid and that we couldnt find anything on them. I dont even know if I wrote the paper correctly, or wrote anything near what he was looking for, but I dont feel as bad now knowing that someone else was only able to write 2 pages.
Last night I went to bed at like 5, because I was writing yet another paper. Let me just say... FUCK YOU, BILL WINE! I hate that man. Yes, he can be pretty amusing at times... yes, he is very good at what he does, but he's just an asshole. I dont know why a teacher feels the need to criticize people and tell people that their opinion is wrong. Whatever... I'm done with that man, I just have to pass his final... *crosses fingers* I finished his stupid paper around 3, but by that time I was so overtired that my second wind kicked in and I was wide awake... I finally fell asleep around 5, I think.
Now on to a more serious topic...
Three people have passed away recently. I wasnt close with any of them, but seeing how people have been taking it all, it has really made me think. First off, I feel like such an asshole and a horrible person. For 2 years I fought with someone over the stupidest thing and she hated me for something that I couldnt really control. I wanted so badly to fix things because someone lied about me and told the family that I said a lot of shit behind someone's back that I would never ever say about anyone, but it was too late. The family got a different idea about me and now hate me, and nothing that I could ever say or do could ever fix that. And now that Janis is gone, I really cant ever fix anything. I just wish that she knew that I never said the things she thought I did about her family and knows that I'm really not a bad person. When I first heard what had happened, my first reaction was about how Marlena and Amanda were. We had our differences, and we didnt get along, but dealing with their mother in a coma is not something they should ever have to go through at this age. I dont know why, but I laid in bed one night and just cried. At first I was just upset, then I got mad. For so long Scott bitched about me to that family and they hate me, so I couldnt even do or say anything to anyone in that family right now because of him, and I dont like that. I wish I was able to tell him how I really feel about him and how much I hate him now more than ever because of all this... but I cant, and even if I could, I'm in a better place now, finally starting to get over things and there's no way I'd ever talk to him again if I had the choice.
Moving on...
Seeing peoples reactions to losing these people has really made me realize that I take people for granted. I go to bed at night knowing I'll wake up and my friends and family will all still be here. I've thought about all the people that I havent talked to in awhile and thought about why we havent talked. Everyone that I know has touched me in some way or another, both good or bad, and I'm grateful for these people. Everything can change so quickly, and you can never take anything for granted. When I've talked to my friends the last couple days, I've just been happy that I have these people in my life and I've been grateful to be surrounded by the group of people that I have and I wouldnt ever change anything.
This is a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. I really cant put my thoughts into words right now. So I'll just leave by saying... To everyone in my life, I love you all and I'm happy to have each and everyone of you by my side.