Summer is over
Decided now that summer is over. I also decided today that i need to think of my surroundings more and less of my feelings. So right now i am wearing a spongebob squarepants dressing gown. I am also wearing a spongebob t-shirt. I really like this dressing gown because i got it on my 17th birthday. Its kinda special to me.
Anyho summer for me is now over. I now have no more places i have to be or people i have to see. For once in a very long time i feel truly free. Yet i am not happy. The reason being is depression is sinking her claws slowly back into me. Right now i feel worthless because i have no job. Its killing me. People look down on you when you have no job. I look down on me. I feel like a drain on society.
This was the first summer that i have been single since i turned 18. When i was 18 i was with eoin, had repeats, was working a lot. When i was 19 i was with David, worked a bit i was happy. I was also obsessed with Gavin. When i was 20 i was with David and working full time in a lab in Galway. It was a great year.
This year what did i do?
I went to London for a few days in July. Went out pretty much every saturday night. Went to the gym a lot. Lost some of the weight i gained in 4th year. I went to karate a lot. I learnt how to drive. Grew closer to a lot of people. Dated a guy called andrew. I begun dating again without ever realizing it. Went into work with my dad once or twice. This was the summer i was very much in love with Doctor Who, Matt Smith, Alex Kingston and spent many a night up at odd hours reading fanfiction.
The summer of 2012 will be spent in Derry writing up a masters thesis hopefully working and sorting out a job and a life in London. I hope to god i have a job, i'm on my way to owning a blue mini, that i have gotten down to my goal weight and that i am healthy and happy.
Anyho summer for me is now over. I now have no more places i have to be or people i have to see. For once in a very long time i feel truly free. Yet i am not happy. The reason being is depression is sinking her claws slowly back into me. Right now i feel worthless because i have no job. Its killing me. People look down on you when you have no job. I look down on me. I feel like a drain on society.
This was the first summer that i have been single since i turned 18. When i was 18 i was with eoin, had repeats, was working a lot. When i was 19 i was with David, worked a bit i was happy. I was also obsessed with Gavin. When i was 20 i was with David and working full time in a lab in Galway. It was a great year.
This year what did i do?
I went to London for a few days in July. Went out pretty much every saturday night. Went to the gym a lot. Lost some of the weight i gained in 4th year. I went to karate a lot. I learnt how to drive. Grew closer to a lot of people. Dated a guy called andrew. I begun dating again without ever realizing it. Went into work with my dad once or twice. This was the summer i was very much in love with Doctor Who, Matt Smith, Alex Kingston and spent many a night up at odd hours reading fanfiction.
The summer of 2012 will be spent in Derry writing up a masters thesis hopefully working and sorting out a job and a life in London. I hope to god i have a job, i'm on my way to owning a blue mini, that i have gotten down to my goal weight and that i am healthy and happy.