Free fall
God, it's been a stressful few weeks. I've been working far too hard at work, which is one of the many reasons I FINALLY QUIT* last week. I paid far too much for a tail light lens because I need to get my car inspected, and now it seems I won't have it in time and will probably fail my inspection (my mom says I then get a 2 week rejection sticker, so I hopefully can bounce back, but only if I get that goddamn overpriced lens). I pulled my knee pretty bad, and nearly all my friends have left for college, although I was too busy working to say goodbye to most of them. I'm abandoned for another year. And the last of my friends that are leaving still have yet to leave. So I have that weighing me down.
Plus, I'm DREADING September and the changes it will bring. In all honesty, I hope I don't fall into a depression. The events I'm anticipating are very capable of doing that to me. It's scary.
And I actually had a pretty good day today. Fucking hell.
Needless to say, I'm wearing thin. I'd go into more detail, but the internet at Gelly's is down and since her folks are out of town it probably will be all week. So I'm at Panera right now, but am tired and it's cold in here, so this quick update will have to suffice for now.
*I decided ultimately that it's too early in my life to be a corporate sell-out, and that I wouldn't be happy as cafe supervisor, nor would I be making enough money for the amount of work I'd be doing. I still question my decision far more often than I should, but I think it was right. Then, several days later, I realized that I needed to get out entirely. There's a promising job at the FBI that I'm trying to nail down and will go into more detail about later when I'm more able. I'm relieved that I quit, but at the same time I really love all the people I work with, am realizing that more and more as my last 2 weeks are counting down, and it makes me very sad sometimes.
I feel heavy thinking about it right now. S'matter of fact, I'm starting to feel a warm burning sensation behind my eyes and a tightening in my throat that I think means it's time to bolt outta here.
I dunno. I guess I'm just not doing so well lately.
Plus, I'm DREADING September and the changes it will bring. In all honesty, I hope I don't fall into a depression. The events I'm anticipating are very capable of doing that to me. It's scary.
And I actually had a pretty good day today. Fucking hell.
Needless to say, I'm wearing thin. I'd go into more detail, but the internet at Gelly's is down and since her folks are out of town it probably will be all week. So I'm at Panera right now, but am tired and it's cold in here, so this quick update will have to suffice for now.
*I decided ultimately that it's too early in my life to be a corporate sell-out, and that I wouldn't be happy as cafe supervisor, nor would I be making enough money for the amount of work I'd be doing. I still question my decision far more often than I should, but I think it was right. Then, several days later, I realized that I needed to get out entirely. There's a promising job at the FBI that I'm trying to nail down and will go into more detail about later when I'm more able. I'm relieved that I quit, but at the same time I really love all the people I work with, am realizing that more and more as my last 2 weeks are counting down, and it makes me very sad sometimes.
I feel heavy thinking about it right now. S'matter of fact, I'm starting to feel a warm burning sensation behind my eyes and a tightening in my throat that I think means it's time to bolt outta here.
I dunno. I guess I'm just not doing so well lately.