Walking With A Ghost (2/7)
Title: Walking With A Ghost (2/7)
Author: Irisayame
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: PG-13 for the first 5 chapters, NC-17 for the last.
Length: ~ 24000+
Spoiler: Uh, none really, but let's say season 1?
Summary: When Rachel dies, she returns as a ghost. She doesn't know what to do, let alone what's keeping her on earth, until she discovers that Quinn alone can see her. Will Quinn help her, or will the cheerleader let their lifelong animosity get between them?
Disclaimer: Don't own anything I may refer to, and of course, I don't own Glee
A/N: I wrote this for the Glee Femslash Big Bang. It took longer than it should have. It's big AU and I know it, and I can be a sucker for cliches, to warn you, but I hope you like it anyway :) read, enjoy, and I'm REALLY curious what you think about this (I've been kind of obsessing over it for a long time) so please, pretty please, review?
A/N 2: Lyrics used from Death and All Of His Friends by Coldplay.
***
No, I don’t want a battle from beginning to end
No, I don’t want to cycle, recycle revenge
Quinn let herself fall on her bed, but found that she couldn’t relax. She hadn’t been able to since her… meeting with Rachel. In her mind, she projected Rachel on every crossroad, expected her to jump from behind every tree or car.
It was already growing to be too much for her. Even now, in her own room, she still felt on edge. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples with her fingertips in a vain attempt to alleviate some of the pressure. This day was simply too much for her.
First of all, all the emotions from yesterday she had yet to process. She’d been there… she and Finn had been the first ones to hear the news, because Rachel’s dads thought it best to call him. Quinn was there with him, and Finn just… lost it.
She shuddered when she remembered the crazed look in his eyes. For a second she thought he was going to kill someone - Finn wasn’t great with handling emotions, and or controlling his temper - but thankfully, he settled for wrecking a bus stop and throwing a trashcan.
Vandalism, first class, of course. But Quinn thought it was good he expressed his feelings on inanimate objects. The kind that didn’t feel pain.
Mr. Shue had told her to stay with him, make sure nobody - including Finn - got hurt. Despite everything, it scared her. He had scared her. When he stopped wrecking stuff, she called Kurt’s dad, probably someone more equipped to handle Finn right now.
When she was home, Puck came by. He thought they should do something. Quinn almost cried - almost, but not quite - before agreeing and putting everything, all the messed up things she felt, in making a fitting tribute for Rachel.
She didn’t know how Puck managed to get the radio performance, but it was perfect.
After pouring everything - more than she thought she had - into the song, she felt emotionally drained. Like an empty bucket, with only tears left that still needed to be cried.
Then she saw Rachel. There’s so many people who die, why does Quinn have to see her out of all of them? Why did Rachel choose her? What went wrong? This couldn’t have been the way it was supposed to go.
She grinned a sour grin. She went wrong. She saw Rachel. Rachel was there, but nobody saw her, nobody was supposed to. It was her own fault she saw Rachel. Or rather, the fault of the genes that made her a freakshow.
10 years earlier
“Mom, why is everyone crying?” Quinn whispered. She was clothed in black. Everyone was. She hated black.
“I told you sweetie, because grandpa’s dead.”
“But why are they so sad?”
“Because they can never see him or talk to him again. They have to say goodbye now. They cry because they don’t want to say goodbye.”
“But he’s sitting right there!” Allie said.
Their mom took Quinn and her sister a little more to the back, looking around nervously before squadding down, getting on eye level with Quinn and Allison.
“Listen, girls. I know you can still see grandpa, and so can I, and grandma, but nobody else can. We’re… special. Sometimes when that person loves us and we love them back, or when there is a reason that nobody understands, we can see the ghost of those who died. Like now,” she whispered, pointing Quinn’s grandparents.
“Grandpa is there, and we’re gonna go and talk to him for the last time. He came to say goodbye, like most ghosts. But only the women of our family can see him. And nobody can know, it’s our secret.”
“Not even daddy?” Allie asked, wide-eyed.
“Especially not your father. Now, are you girls alright?”
Both girls nodded, and she hugged them tightly before taking them to their grandfather. They went to sit around him.
“Ah, my girls,” he said. “I am afraid my time is up, but sure a whole lot of people have shown up today!”
Quinn stared at her grandmother, who was crying, along with most people.
“Hi, dad,” Quinn’s mother said, smiling. “How are you feeling?”
“Better than ever,” he replied with a smile.
“I always thought I’d go first,” Quinn’s grandmother said before turning to her husband and adding: “But this is better. You can’t take care of yourself, you can’t even cook a decent meal.”
He stared up at the ceiling, and said: “This is my cue. I have to go.”
“Bye, dad,” Quinn’s mom told him. “Love you.”
“You too, baby girl.”
“I’ll see you soon,” Quinn’s grandmother said strictly.
“Of course, I’ll be waiting.”
“Say hi to God for me,” Allie said.
“I’m sure he says hi back.”
Quinn hadn’t wanted to say anything, but it just slipped from her, without a thought.
“Also, angels.”
“Ah, the best of heaven. I will. I’m sure they say hi to you too, Quinnie.”
His smile never left his face as she watched him fade from her sight, disappearing into vague, bright lights that nobody else could see.
2 years ago
Quinn was 14, about to start her freshman year, and slowly realizing more and more about the real world out there. Also, she was dead set on finally getting to know everything about the forbidden subject. The permanent elephant in their home. Ghosts.
“Mom, why can we see ghosts?”
“Quinn, honey…”
“Please, I just want to know. I think I need to know, or deserve to know. It’s my gift too, right?”
“Yes, our curse.”
“Mom, I can’t decide what it is until I know more about it.”
Judy Fabray stayed quiet for 2 full minutes, and a bit.
“We can see ghosts of people that mean a lot to us, or those of people who are supposed to be helped by you. In the first case, it’s family only, blood relatives. In the second one, anyone is… game.”
“Why are they here?”
“It depends, but usually unfinished business. They mostly want to say goodbye to someone, or in some cases they have a destiny yet unfilled.”
“And we help them?”
“If we choose so, but usually not. It’s very hard trying to be normal while talking to ghosts.”
“Can they like, touch stuff?”
“Things after 24, or sometimes 48 hours. Then they are really grounded to earth. People however only when there is love from both sides. Then, if they become more real to you, or if they feel very alive, you can touch them as well.”
“Touch a ghost?!”
“It’s unusual but it happens. It’s a little complicated, but I think it has to do with how real the ghost is to you. When it becomes less a ghost and more a real person to you.”
It sounded vague, but Quinn would take it. Quinn would take anything. Her mom was no scientist, she didn’t really know either, of course. Nobody had all the answers. So instead of pushing the matter, she asked:
“Why do we pretend it isn't there all the time? I mean, does Allie even know all this?”
“She doesn’t.” Quinn’s mother told her sadly.
“But you have to know where you come from! Allie deserves-”
“Allie doesn’t want to know. She's like me in that, she wants to be normal. When she sees a ghost, she pretends that she doesn’t. The ghost will never know and she won’t have to deal with it.”
“But why?” Quinn asked. She knew she was pushing it, but felt like this was important. An important part of who she was. Judy Fabray took the hands of her youngest daughter from across the table.
“Quinnie, that’s where you come from. This family excels in being normal. That is who we are. A good, Christian family. Think about starting your freshman year next month with everybody knowing you can talk to dead people. They’d laugh at you, or say you were a freak or crazy. We don’t want that for you. Be normal, Quinn. Or at least try to be.”
Quinn Fabray, 16, has her arms beneath her head, lying on her bed. Tears were prickling behind her eyelids, but she wouldn’t let them fall. She refused to get emotional over Rachel Berry. First, it was Rachel Berry. For real.
But secondly, she didn’t think she’d be able to take the guilt. It wouldn’t be right for her to cry about Rachel. Not after torturing the girl herself. And now there was nothing left to do to make it up.
Yes there is. Talk to her.
No way. That right there was boundary she wouldn’t be crossing.
Really? Wouldn’t it be better?
Quinn sighed. She hated her conscience. It was so annoying so often. Maybe she wouldn’t have a choice, and Rachel would just come after her, and haunt her. Ugh. Damn smurf. She was probably lucky Rachel had left her alone for this long.
She shot a look to her door, sure that the smurf would pop up right there. When she noticed that wasn’t the case, she sighed again. This was driving her insane.
What if Rachel had moved on already? What if Quinn wouldn’t have to deal with it at all? Her hope was probably in vain, but she clung to it anyway. At least she would try and enjoy the peace while it lasted. She turned off her light, decided to fall asleep.
She stayed awake the whole night long, waiting for Rachel, only to fall asleep at dawn.
When she woke up she was dead tired and felt cheated. Going through her morning routine, she realized she was the only one who had yet to see the rest of Glee club since the accident. How would everyone be coping? How was Glee ever going to get over this?
“Together,” she said, stopping her motions. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but it was obvious to her now. Something extreme happened. Something extreme would come from it.
Either Glee had been destroyed from the inside out, and Sue Sylvester would get what she wanted without even having to go to any more trouble, or Glee would get stronger, get over it. And since everybody wanted the second thing to happen, it was kind of likely. Wow.
What would that be like for Rachel? People bonding over her demise. Maybe she would be pissed that something like that had never happened while she was alive.
Quinn shot a look and the clock and realized that wasting time contemplating how Rachel Berry would feel wasn’t smart if she didn’t want to be late. She hurried through the rest of her routine and got in her car. She was well on her way when a wave of shock hit her when she heard a familiar voice.
“You shouldn’t speed like that, Quinn. Slow down.”
“I’m running late, and what’s it to you? You’re in zero danger. You’re dead.”
“You should leave earlier, then. I died in a car crash.”
A painful silence arose, and Quinn clacked her tongue. Guilt. That was unfair, but still…
“Right, sorry about that.”
“Slow down,” Rachel said in a demanding voice.
When the needle dropped the brunette smiled.
“Now, get out of my car.”
“I’m afraid that there’s no chance of that happening, Quinn. You are - allow me to express myself rather dramatically here - my only hope. I have an intense questionnaire for you. I memorized it last night, of course, since I couldn’t actually write anyth-”
“You can write,” Quinn muttered.
“Excuse me?”
“Ghosts, like yourself ‘cause that’s what you are, can’t touch anything for the first 1 or 2 days after their death. Now you’re past that mark, your manhands can touch anything they want.”
“That is great news, Quinn! More ways to persuade you to help me with at least information and hopefully more. I can get on your nerves in other ways than only verbal, too! Thank you for this great news!”
“You’re welcome. Now. Please leave.”
“I can’t, Quinn. You have to help me first.”
“No I don’t. Trust me, I don’t.”
“I’ll convince you otherwise. Few people are more easily annoyed by me than you, and that is saying something, I’m aware. It won’t be hard to drive you absolutely insane.”
“Go for it. How is invading the privacy of my car working out for you?”
“Excellent, thank you! So nice that the law does not apply to me anymore. I’ll be sure to thoroughly enjoy it! Now, since we are both here anyway, why can you see me?”
Quinn stepped on the gas. 4 more minutes, she told herself.
“Did you just go through a red light?”
“…no?”
“Quinn! Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean you should go put other people at risk!”
“Zip it, RuPaul! I’m sorry you’re dead, but please, let me live my life.”
Rachel bit her lip. She didn’t think Quinn had ever hated her quite as much as right now. That was a harsh conclusion to come to, considering it was Quinn and she was Rachel.
“You’ll cave,” Rachel said. “You’ll have to.” And she disappeared from Quinn’s car.
Quinn breathed deeply through her nose. This day would be all kinds of ugly, she suspected. She suspected right. After this wonderful beginning, she walked inside McKinley High School. The first person she saw was Finn. He blushed when he saw her and pulled her aside.
“Hi, Quinn.” She’d never get used to a huge guy like him acting shy or embarrassed. It was too weird.
“Listen, I’ve been wanting to talk to you, cause… I feel like I owe you an apology. I know I scared you Monday. I’m sorry for flipping out like that.”
“Please, don’t,” Quinn interrupted him quickly. “Nothing to apologize for. You couldn’t really help it either, so…”
“By the way, you and Puck were pretty awesome yesterday. Where did that come from? I’d expect anyone there but you…”
His voice was layered with silent accusations and Quinn suppressed a wry smile. Of course. She didn’t care. Then she remembered Rachel annoying this morning and remembered that no, she didn’t care.
“Yeah, well, thanks…”
“We’re all doing a song Saturday on the funeral. Maybe we’ll do that one, we don’t know yet, but anyway, thought you should know.”
“Thank you,” she said earnestly. “What else did I miss? How is everyone… how are you coping?”
He shrugged. “Everyone is still kinda stuck denying it all…” he paused before adding: “I miss her. You know I told her I loved her? She didn’t have a chance to say it back. It’s just weird, it feels like she’s on vacation or something…”
The bell rang, and they both fell silent for a second. Then, Finn said: “See you later,” and turned around, quite forgetting that they actually shared their next class together. When Quinn sat down, she shot Finn a look, but he was just staring out of the window.
Class started, and Quinn got her books from her bag. However, looking up again, she got an awful surprise. Rachel was sitting on top of her desk, blocking her view effectively.
“Move over, manhands! You’re blocking my view!”
“Since this was exactly the goal I wanted to achieve, I cannot, really. I’m afraid you’re going to miss this class, Quinn. You will not be able to see anything because I am blocking your view, and don’t think you’ll be hearing much of it either.”
“This isn’t funny, Treasure Trail!” She hissed. Rachel looked at the guy sitting behind the desk next to her, who was gazing at her intently, mouth opened.
“What are you looking at, Karofsky? Your momma never tell you it’s rude to stare at people?”
Quinn’s voice was so irritated and hostile that he looked down without a word.
“I’m afraid that soon, you’re going to have to accept that you can’t do that to me anymore. Get angry and intimidate me. You’ll have to see the power switch here. I’ve got the power in this relation ship now.”
“Wipe that smug grin of your face, Berry. I’m trying to follow a class here.”
“Trying and failing,” Rachel said loudly. She begin to whistle a tune then, and kept humming and whistling for the rest of the class.
“Are you whistling Yellow Submarine?” Quinn asked in an incredulous voice. Rachel looked like she would have blushed if she had been alive.
“I am. It is quite a legendary song, you know. And the tune is more than a little catchy.”
“You are such a freak,” Quinn whispered.
“And you are so not, miss Ghost Whisperer?”
“Shhht!” She said, looking around hurriedly.
“People can only hear you. And you are making a fool out of yourself.”
Indeed, many people were staring at her. She gave them all her deadliest gaze before turning it on Rachel, who said: “If looks could kill, it’s a good thing I’m already dead!”
Rachel kept on whistling and Quinn finally kept quiet, afraid of more comments.
Right before lunch, Mercedes came to her.
“Hey, Quinn, we’re going to the choir room to pick a song to perform.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a few.”
Mercedes hadn’t left for 3 whole seconds when Quinn heard a familiar voice beside her.
“Is there a performance? A competition? Will you be competing? I dare doubt if you can do it without me. Sure, we have quite some talent in our club, but someone must step up and truly be a captain. What is the setlist? Oh, you are determining it now, right? It should depend on the kind of competition, every single one is different, of course. What’s it for?”
They were now at the choir room, and Quinn whispered, not looking at Rachel: “Your funeral.”
Quinn walked in, and was relieved to note that it wasn’t dead silent. Everyone was quietly talking amongst teach other. It was almost like normal, only… not. When everyone was there, Mr. Shue stood up.
“We narrowed down the choices to Eric Clapton’s Tears In Heaven and Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles. What do you think?”
Now it got quiet, before Tina said: “I think that Rachel would have liked Tears in Heaved. It’s, you know, epic and really appropriate.” A murmur of agreement came from the group, and Rachel said:
“What?! I’ll be the first one to say that Tears in Heaven is a beautiful song, but on my funeral, I prefer something a little more positive and hopeful! Quinn, please help. Tell them that I want Here Comes the Sun!”
Quinn tried ignoring her, but Rachel was persistent as always.
“Tell them! It’s my funeral, after all.”
Quinn stood up, and all eyes were on her. She tried to reign in her annoyance, since Rachel had a good point. It was her funeral.
“I disagree. I think Rachel would have liked Here Comes the Sun.”
“Yeah, cause you knew her so well,” Santana sneered.
“And you did?”
“I don’t pretend otherwise.”
“Hey now,” Mr. Shue said, “Quinn, why would you think that?”
“Well… we all know that Rachel was a real optimist. She wouldn’t have wanted such a sad song like Claptons, but something more… positive, and hopeful.”
The last word did it. She heard Finn: “That does sound like her.”
“Yeah, it does,” Puck agreed.
“So, Here Comes the Sun?” Mr. Shue asked. Everyone nodded in agreement.
“Here Comes the Sun it is.”
“Thanks,” she heard Rachel’s voice when she sat back down. From the corner of her mouth, she whispered back:
“You’re welcome. It’s your funeral.”
After that, Quinn once again committed herself to the difficult task of ignoring Rachel Berry. The only time she really had trouble with it, was when Mrs. Jackson asked her a question and Rachel was blabbering through it.
Quinn made the mistake of asking her to repeat it in a very, very loud voice. Her temper overtook her, and she hissed at Rachel: “If you weren’t already dead, I would do the job myself!”
Rachel thought that this was so harsh she got a hurt look on her face and seemed to almost slip away.
Well, good. Quinn thought angrily, but before the second minute had passed, a sour feeling bubbled in her stomach.
Guilt. Ugh.
Guilty for lashing out at the poor dead girl. It reminded her all too much of the quarrels she used to have with Finn. They would fight, get angry, she would say something that would hurt him, he would pull back and after the guilt kicked in she’d apologize and it would all be fine again.
Already she felt the strong urge to voice an apology make it’s way to her mouth, like word vomit.
Don’t, she told herself. Don’t apologize. Don’t give her that. She had it coming.
Her mouth opened. “Rachel?” She felt like a moron, but Rachel appeared beside her.
“Ah, I see you have finally learned my first name! What can be the reason you call it out now?”
“Nothing,” Quinn said, already regretting her impulse.
“Somehow I doubt that. You called me. Here I am. What is it?”
“How did you get here?”
“I have no idea. You’re supposed to be the one who has all the answers.”
“How did you come to that con-”
“Your point?”
Quinn bit her lip, but decided to grant her whirling insides a little peace.
“Sorry.”
“Apology accepted,” Rachel said, nearly glowing. Quinn looked up to see everyone busying themselves with an assignment she had completely missed, and thought that this whole thing was bound to ruin her GPA.
At last, the final bell rang. Quinn hurried home, eager to escape the force controlling the day. She couldn’t believe it, but again, she felt emotionally drained. It had a lot to do with the horrible atmosphere at school, like everyone was going to cry at the drop of a hat.
It was making the air harder to breathe, her mouth dry, her throat thick. It was awful.
She heard a knock, and when she called for the other to come in, her mother walked hesitantly towards her to sit on her bedside.
“Are you alright honey? You seem really tired these last days, is everything okay?”
Quinn doubted, but knew she had to get it off her chest, and this was her best option. Her only option, really.
“Mom, do you remember the girl from school who died?”
“I do. Rachel, right? That short girl from your Glee club?”
“Right. Well, something happened.”
“What is it, sweetie? Is it something with… our thing?”
“Yeah, I…” her voice went to a raw whisper. “She came to me.”
“When?”
“Yesterday, after the radio performance, but it already seems like forever.”
“Young people are often not yet ready to leave earth behind.”
“That’s fine, but does she have to cling to me?”
“She’s got nobody else to cling to, that is the problem, Quinnnie. Was she a good friend of yours?”
Quinn snorted. “No. Not even a little.”
“That’s… difficult.”
“I hate her.”
“Maybe you can work on that, then?”
“Oh, no, no. You don’t know her. She’s hell on earth, I can’t even… she’s so annoying, it’s almost impossible to get how someone can be so annoying. Every time we talk, I want to punch her.”
“Then it’s a good thing you can’t. Quinn, you know you’ve been lucky. Allison and I had to deal with all this much earlier in our lives. Are you going to ignore her or help her?”
“Ignore her if I can and hope she’ll give up… if she can. She’s really persistent.”
“Are you sure, Quinn? You know, there me be a time where you’ll regret not helping her.”
“Not her. Just, not her.”
“If you’re sure, I wish you good luck, sweetie. I hope it’s the right choice.”
She kissed Quinn’s forehead before leaving her daughter’s room.
Part 3
Author: Irisayame
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: PG-13 for the first 5 chapters, NC-17 for the last.
Length: ~ 24000+
Spoiler: Uh, none really, but let's say season 1?
Summary: When Rachel dies, she returns as a ghost. She doesn't know what to do, let alone what's keeping her on earth, until she discovers that Quinn alone can see her. Will Quinn help her, or will the cheerleader let their lifelong animosity get between them?
Disclaimer: Don't own anything I may refer to, and of course, I don't own Glee
A/N: I wrote this for the Glee Femslash Big Bang. It took longer than it should have. It's big AU and I know it, and I can be a sucker for cliches, to warn you, but I hope you like it anyway :) read, enjoy, and I'm REALLY curious what you think about this (I've been kind of obsessing over it for a long time) so please, pretty please, review?
A/N 2: Lyrics used from Death and All Of His Friends by Coldplay.
***
No, I don’t want a battle from beginning to end
No, I don’t want to cycle, recycle revenge
Quinn let herself fall on her bed, but found that she couldn’t relax. She hadn’t been able to since her… meeting with Rachel. In her mind, she projected Rachel on every crossroad, expected her to jump from behind every tree or car.
It was already growing to be too much for her. Even now, in her own room, she still felt on edge. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples with her fingertips in a vain attempt to alleviate some of the pressure. This day was simply too much for her.
First of all, all the emotions from yesterday she had yet to process. She’d been there… she and Finn had been the first ones to hear the news, because Rachel’s dads thought it best to call him. Quinn was there with him, and Finn just… lost it.
She shuddered when she remembered the crazed look in his eyes. For a second she thought he was going to kill someone - Finn wasn’t great with handling emotions, and or controlling his temper - but thankfully, he settled for wrecking a bus stop and throwing a trashcan.
Vandalism, first class, of course. But Quinn thought it was good he expressed his feelings on inanimate objects. The kind that didn’t feel pain.
Mr. Shue had told her to stay with him, make sure nobody - including Finn - got hurt. Despite everything, it scared her. He had scared her. When he stopped wrecking stuff, she called Kurt’s dad, probably someone more equipped to handle Finn right now.
When she was home, Puck came by. He thought they should do something. Quinn almost cried - almost, but not quite - before agreeing and putting everything, all the messed up things she felt, in making a fitting tribute for Rachel.
She didn’t know how Puck managed to get the radio performance, but it was perfect.
After pouring everything - more than she thought she had - into the song, she felt emotionally drained. Like an empty bucket, with only tears left that still needed to be cried.
Then she saw Rachel. There’s so many people who die, why does Quinn have to see her out of all of them? Why did Rachel choose her? What went wrong? This couldn’t have been the way it was supposed to go.
She grinned a sour grin. She went wrong. She saw Rachel. Rachel was there, but nobody saw her, nobody was supposed to. It was her own fault she saw Rachel. Or rather, the fault of the genes that made her a freakshow.
10 years earlier
“Mom, why is everyone crying?” Quinn whispered. She was clothed in black. Everyone was. She hated black.
“I told you sweetie, because grandpa’s dead.”
“But why are they so sad?”
“Because they can never see him or talk to him again. They have to say goodbye now. They cry because they don’t want to say goodbye.”
“But he’s sitting right there!” Allie said.
Their mom took Quinn and her sister a little more to the back, looking around nervously before squadding down, getting on eye level with Quinn and Allison.
“Listen, girls. I know you can still see grandpa, and so can I, and grandma, but nobody else can. We’re… special. Sometimes when that person loves us and we love them back, or when there is a reason that nobody understands, we can see the ghost of those who died. Like now,” she whispered, pointing Quinn’s grandparents.
“Grandpa is there, and we’re gonna go and talk to him for the last time. He came to say goodbye, like most ghosts. But only the women of our family can see him. And nobody can know, it’s our secret.”
“Not even daddy?” Allie asked, wide-eyed.
“Especially not your father. Now, are you girls alright?”
Both girls nodded, and she hugged them tightly before taking them to their grandfather. They went to sit around him.
“Ah, my girls,” he said. “I am afraid my time is up, but sure a whole lot of people have shown up today!”
Quinn stared at her grandmother, who was crying, along with most people.
“Hi, dad,” Quinn’s mother said, smiling. “How are you feeling?”
“Better than ever,” he replied with a smile.
“I always thought I’d go first,” Quinn’s grandmother said before turning to her husband and adding: “But this is better. You can’t take care of yourself, you can’t even cook a decent meal.”
He stared up at the ceiling, and said: “This is my cue. I have to go.”
“Bye, dad,” Quinn’s mom told him. “Love you.”
“You too, baby girl.”
“I’ll see you soon,” Quinn’s grandmother said strictly.
“Of course, I’ll be waiting.”
“Say hi to God for me,” Allie said.
“I’m sure he says hi back.”
Quinn hadn’t wanted to say anything, but it just slipped from her, without a thought.
“Also, angels.”
“Ah, the best of heaven. I will. I’m sure they say hi to you too, Quinnie.”
His smile never left his face as she watched him fade from her sight, disappearing into vague, bright lights that nobody else could see.
2 years ago
Quinn was 14, about to start her freshman year, and slowly realizing more and more about the real world out there. Also, she was dead set on finally getting to know everything about the forbidden subject. The permanent elephant in their home. Ghosts.
“Mom, why can we see ghosts?”
“Quinn, honey…”
“Please, I just want to know. I think I need to know, or deserve to know. It’s my gift too, right?”
“Yes, our curse.”
“Mom, I can’t decide what it is until I know more about it.”
Judy Fabray stayed quiet for 2 full minutes, and a bit.
“We can see ghosts of people that mean a lot to us, or those of people who are supposed to be helped by you. In the first case, it’s family only, blood relatives. In the second one, anyone is… game.”
“Why are they here?”
“It depends, but usually unfinished business. They mostly want to say goodbye to someone, or in some cases they have a destiny yet unfilled.”
“And we help them?”
“If we choose so, but usually not. It’s very hard trying to be normal while talking to ghosts.”
“Can they like, touch stuff?”
“Things after 24, or sometimes 48 hours. Then they are really grounded to earth. People however only when there is love from both sides. Then, if they become more real to you, or if they feel very alive, you can touch them as well.”
“Touch a ghost?!”
“It’s unusual but it happens. It’s a little complicated, but I think it has to do with how real the ghost is to you. When it becomes less a ghost and more a real person to you.”
It sounded vague, but Quinn would take it. Quinn would take anything. Her mom was no scientist, she didn’t really know either, of course. Nobody had all the answers. So instead of pushing the matter, she asked:
“Why do we pretend it isn't there all the time? I mean, does Allie even know all this?”
“She doesn’t.” Quinn’s mother told her sadly.
“But you have to know where you come from! Allie deserves-”
“Allie doesn’t want to know. She's like me in that, she wants to be normal. When she sees a ghost, she pretends that she doesn’t. The ghost will never know and she won’t have to deal with it.”
“But why?” Quinn asked. She knew she was pushing it, but felt like this was important. An important part of who she was. Judy Fabray took the hands of her youngest daughter from across the table.
“Quinnie, that’s where you come from. This family excels in being normal. That is who we are. A good, Christian family. Think about starting your freshman year next month with everybody knowing you can talk to dead people. They’d laugh at you, or say you were a freak or crazy. We don’t want that for you. Be normal, Quinn. Or at least try to be.”
Quinn Fabray, 16, has her arms beneath her head, lying on her bed. Tears were prickling behind her eyelids, but she wouldn’t let them fall. She refused to get emotional over Rachel Berry. First, it was Rachel Berry. For real.
But secondly, she didn’t think she’d be able to take the guilt. It wouldn’t be right for her to cry about Rachel. Not after torturing the girl herself. And now there was nothing left to do to make it up.
Yes there is. Talk to her.
No way. That right there was boundary she wouldn’t be crossing.
Really? Wouldn’t it be better?
Quinn sighed. She hated her conscience. It was so annoying so often. Maybe she wouldn’t have a choice, and Rachel would just come after her, and haunt her. Ugh. Damn smurf. She was probably lucky Rachel had left her alone for this long.
She shot a look to her door, sure that the smurf would pop up right there. When she noticed that wasn’t the case, she sighed again. This was driving her insane.
What if Rachel had moved on already? What if Quinn wouldn’t have to deal with it at all? Her hope was probably in vain, but she clung to it anyway. At least she would try and enjoy the peace while it lasted. She turned off her light, decided to fall asleep.
She stayed awake the whole night long, waiting for Rachel, only to fall asleep at dawn.
When she woke up she was dead tired and felt cheated. Going through her morning routine, she realized she was the only one who had yet to see the rest of Glee club since the accident. How would everyone be coping? How was Glee ever going to get over this?
“Together,” she said, stopping her motions. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but it was obvious to her now. Something extreme happened. Something extreme would come from it.
Either Glee had been destroyed from the inside out, and Sue Sylvester would get what she wanted without even having to go to any more trouble, or Glee would get stronger, get over it. And since everybody wanted the second thing to happen, it was kind of likely. Wow.
What would that be like for Rachel? People bonding over her demise. Maybe she would be pissed that something like that had never happened while she was alive.
Quinn shot a look and the clock and realized that wasting time contemplating how Rachel Berry would feel wasn’t smart if she didn’t want to be late. She hurried through the rest of her routine and got in her car. She was well on her way when a wave of shock hit her when she heard a familiar voice.
“You shouldn’t speed like that, Quinn. Slow down.”
“I’m running late, and what’s it to you? You’re in zero danger. You’re dead.”
“You should leave earlier, then. I died in a car crash.”
A painful silence arose, and Quinn clacked her tongue. Guilt. That was unfair, but still…
“Right, sorry about that.”
“Slow down,” Rachel said in a demanding voice.
When the needle dropped the brunette smiled.
“Now, get out of my car.”
“I’m afraid that there’s no chance of that happening, Quinn. You are - allow me to express myself rather dramatically here - my only hope. I have an intense questionnaire for you. I memorized it last night, of course, since I couldn’t actually write anyth-”
“You can write,” Quinn muttered.
“Excuse me?”
“Ghosts, like yourself ‘cause that’s what you are, can’t touch anything for the first 1 or 2 days after their death. Now you’re past that mark, your manhands can touch anything they want.”
“That is great news, Quinn! More ways to persuade you to help me with at least information and hopefully more. I can get on your nerves in other ways than only verbal, too! Thank you for this great news!”
“You’re welcome. Now. Please leave.”
“I can’t, Quinn. You have to help me first.”
“No I don’t. Trust me, I don’t.”
“I’ll convince you otherwise. Few people are more easily annoyed by me than you, and that is saying something, I’m aware. It won’t be hard to drive you absolutely insane.”
“Go for it. How is invading the privacy of my car working out for you?”
“Excellent, thank you! So nice that the law does not apply to me anymore. I’ll be sure to thoroughly enjoy it! Now, since we are both here anyway, why can you see me?”
Quinn stepped on the gas. 4 more minutes, she told herself.
“Did you just go through a red light?”
“…no?”
“Quinn! Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean you should go put other people at risk!”
“Zip it, RuPaul! I’m sorry you’re dead, but please, let me live my life.”
Rachel bit her lip. She didn’t think Quinn had ever hated her quite as much as right now. That was a harsh conclusion to come to, considering it was Quinn and she was Rachel.
“You’ll cave,” Rachel said. “You’ll have to.” And she disappeared from Quinn’s car.
Quinn breathed deeply through her nose. This day would be all kinds of ugly, she suspected. She suspected right. After this wonderful beginning, she walked inside McKinley High School. The first person she saw was Finn. He blushed when he saw her and pulled her aside.
“Hi, Quinn.” She’d never get used to a huge guy like him acting shy or embarrassed. It was too weird.
“Listen, I’ve been wanting to talk to you, cause… I feel like I owe you an apology. I know I scared you Monday. I’m sorry for flipping out like that.”
“Please, don’t,” Quinn interrupted him quickly. “Nothing to apologize for. You couldn’t really help it either, so…”
“By the way, you and Puck were pretty awesome yesterday. Where did that come from? I’d expect anyone there but you…”
His voice was layered with silent accusations and Quinn suppressed a wry smile. Of course. She didn’t care. Then she remembered Rachel annoying this morning and remembered that no, she didn’t care.
“Yeah, well, thanks…”
“We’re all doing a song Saturday on the funeral. Maybe we’ll do that one, we don’t know yet, but anyway, thought you should know.”
“Thank you,” she said earnestly. “What else did I miss? How is everyone… how are you coping?”
He shrugged. “Everyone is still kinda stuck denying it all…” he paused before adding: “I miss her. You know I told her I loved her? She didn’t have a chance to say it back. It’s just weird, it feels like she’s on vacation or something…”
The bell rang, and they both fell silent for a second. Then, Finn said: “See you later,” and turned around, quite forgetting that they actually shared their next class together. When Quinn sat down, she shot Finn a look, but he was just staring out of the window.
Class started, and Quinn got her books from her bag. However, looking up again, she got an awful surprise. Rachel was sitting on top of her desk, blocking her view effectively.
“Move over, manhands! You’re blocking my view!”
“Since this was exactly the goal I wanted to achieve, I cannot, really. I’m afraid you’re going to miss this class, Quinn. You will not be able to see anything because I am blocking your view, and don’t think you’ll be hearing much of it either.”
“This isn’t funny, Treasure Trail!” She hissed. Rachel looked at the guy sitting behind the desk next to her, who was gazing at her intently, mouth opened.
“What are you looking at, Karofsky? Your momma never tell you it’s rude to stare at people?”
Quinn’s voice was so irritated and hostile that he looked down without a word.
“I’m afraid that soon, you’re going to have to accept that you can’t do that to me anymore. Get angry and intimidate me. You’ll have to see the power switch here. I’ve got the power in this relation ship now.”
“Wipe that smug grin of your face, Berry. I’m trying to follow a class here.”
“Trying and failing,” Rachel said loudly. She begin to whistle a tune then, and kept humming and whistling for the rest of the class.
“Are you whistling Yellow Submarine?” Quinn asked in an incredulous voice. Rachel looked like she would have blushed if she had been alive.
“I am. It is quite a legendary song, you know. And the tune is more than a little catchy.”
“You are such a freak,” Quinn whispered.
“And you are so not, miss Ghost Whisperer?”
“Shhht!” She said, looking around hurriedly.
“People can only hear you. And you are making a fool out of yourself.”
Indeed, many people were staring at her. She gave them all her deadliest gaze before turning it on Rachel, who said: “If looks could kill, it’s a good thing I’m already dead!”
Rachel kept on whistling and Quinn finally kept quiet, afraid of more comments.
Right before lunch, Mercedes came to her.
“Hey, Quinn, we’re going to the choir room to pick a song to perform.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a few.”
Mercedes hadn’t left for 3 whole seconds when Quinn heard a familiar voice beside her.
“Is there a performance? A competition? Will you be competing? I dare doubt if you can do it without me. Sure, we have quite some talent in our club, but someone must step up and truly be a captain. What is the setlist? Oh, you are determining it now, right? It should depend on the kind of competition, every single one is different, of course. What’s it for?”
They were now at the choir room, and Quinn whispered, not looking at Rachel: “Your funeral.”
Quinn walked in, and was relieved to note that it wasn’t dead silent. Everyone was quietly talking amongst teach other. It was almost like normal, only… not. When everyone was there, Mr. Shue stood up.
“We narrowed down the choices to Eric Clapton’s Tears In Heaven and Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles. What do you think?”
Now it got quiet, before Tina said: “I think that Rachel would have liked Tears in Heaved. It’s, you know, epic and really appropriate.” A murmur of agreement came from the group, and Rachel said:
“What?! I’ll be the first one to say that Tears in Heaven is a beautiful song, but on my funeral, I prefer something a little more positive and hopeful! Quinn, please help. Tell them that I want Here Comes the Sun!”
Quinn tried ignoring her, but Rachel was persistent as always.
“Tell them! It’s my funeral, after all.”
Quinn stood up, and all eyes were on her. She tried to reign in her annoyance, since Rachel had a good point. It was her funeral.
“I disagree. I think Rachel would have liked Here Comes the Sun.”
“Yeah, cause you knew her so well,” Santana sneered.
“And you did?”
“I don’t pretend otherwise.”
“Hey now,” Mr. Shue said, “Quinn, why would you think that?”
“Well… we all know that Rachel was a real optimist. She wouldn’t have wanted such a sad song like Claptons, but something more… positive, and hopeful.”
The last word did it. She heard Finn: “That does sound like her.”
“Yeah, it does,” Puck agreed.
“So, Here Comes the Sun?” Mr. Shue asked. Everyone nodded in agreement.
“Here Comes the Sun it is.”
“Thanks,” she heard Rachel’s voice when she sat back down. From the corner of her mouth, she whispered back:
“You’re welcome. It’s your funeral.”
After that, Quinn once again committed herself to the difficult task of ignoring Rachel Berry. The only time she really had trouble with it, was when Mrs. Jackson asked her a question and Rachel was blabbering through it.
Quinn made the mistake of asking her to repeat it in a very, very loud voice. Her temper overtook her, and she hissed at Rachel: “If you weren’t already dead, I would do the job myself!”
Rachel thought that this was so harsh she got a hurt look on her face and seemed to almost slip away.
Well, good. Quinn thought angrily, but before the second minute had passed, a sour feeling bubbled in her stomach.
Guilt. Ugh.
Guilty for lashing out at the poor dead girl. It reminded her all too much of the quarrels she used to have with Finn. They would fight, get angry, she would say something that would hurt him, he would pull back and after the guilt kicked in she’d apologize and it would all be fine again.
Already she felt the strong urge to voice an apology make it’s way to her mouth, like word vomit.
Don’t, she told herself. Don’t apologize. Don’t give her that. She had it coming.
Her mouth opened. “Rachel?” She felt like a moron, but Rachel appeared beside her.
“Ah, I see you have finally learned my first name! What can be the reason you call it out now?”
“Nothing,” Quinn said, already regretting her impulse.
“Somehow I doubt that. You called me. Here I am. What is it?”
“How did you get here?”
“I have no idea. You’re supposed to be the one who has all the answers.”
“How did you come to that con-”
“Your point?”
Quinn bit her lip, but decided to grant her whirling insides a little peace.
“Sorry.”
“Apology accepted,” Rachel said, nearly glowing. Quinn looked up to see everyone busying themselves with an assignment she had completely missed, and thought that this whole thing was bound to ruin her GPA.
At last, the final bell rang. Quinn hurried home, eager to escape the force controlling the day. She couldn’t believe it, but again, she felt emotionally drained. It had a lot to do with the horrible atmosphere at school, like everyone was going to cry at the drop of a hat.
It was making the air harder to breathe, her mouth dry, her throat thick. It was awful.
She heard a knock, and when she called for the other to come in, her mother walked hesitantly towards her to sit on her bedside.
“Are you alright honey? You seem really tired these last days, is everything okay?”
Quinn doubted, but knew she had to get it off her chest, and this was her best option. Her only option, really.
“Mom, do you remember the girl from school who died?”
“I do. Rachel, right? That short girl from your Glee club?”
“Right. Well, something happened.”
“What is it, sweetie? Is it something with… our thing?”
“Yeah, I…” her voice went to a raw whisper. “She came to me.”
“When?”
“Yesterday, after the radio performance, but it already seems like forever.”
“Young people are often not yet ready to leave earth behind.”
“That’s fine, but does she have to cling to me?”
“She’s got nobody else to cling to, that is the problem, Quinnnie. Was she a good friend of yours?”
Quinn snorted. “No. Not even a little.”
“That’s… difficult.”
“I hate her.”
“Maybe you can work on that, then?”
“Oh, no, no. You don’t know her. She’s hell on earth, I can’t even… she’s so annoying, it’s almost impossible to get how someone can be so annoying. Every time we talk, I want to punch her.”
“Then it’s a good thing you can’t. Quinn, you know you’ve been lucky. Allison and I had to deal with all this much earlier in our lives. Are you going to ignore her or help her?”
“Ignore her if I can and hope she’ll give up… if she can. She’s really persistent.”
“Are you sure, Quinn? You know, there me be a time where you’ll regret not helping her.”
“Not her. Just, not her.”
“If you’re sure, I wish you good luck, sweetie. I hope it’s the right choice.”
She kissed Quinn’s forehead before leaving her daughter’s room.
Part 3