Jul 31, 2006 20:34
Well, what I thought would be a restful and relaxing weekend ended up being something completely different. I went home to see my sister since it was her birthday last week and the 3 month anniversary of her surgery.
We were not able to go out to dinner, or to a movie and lunch on Sunday. She was in a lot worse shape than I thought when she was home from the hospital. It was like the last few days she was in the hospital, paranoid to sleep, tense and anxious, as well as crabby and frustrated and angry at everybody.
Anyways, I got her some iTunes gift cards so she could spend some time downloading stuff. Hopefully she will be able to enjoy them, but now I don't know when she will be home.
She went to the doctor today for her regularly scheduled post op checkup. She gets one every 2 weeks, more if they think its necessary. They do a bronchoscopy and make sure everything is ok in her lungs. Well they were trying to see what was going on in there because they thought she might be going through rejection. Well, her vitals dropped and so did her oxygen levels during what is a normal procedure. She went from fine to having to need CPR in a matter of minutes.
Now she is in CCU (the critical intensive care unit) and on a ventilator. They have to sedate her for the evening and tomorrow, til she gets the tube out on Wednesday. She was fighting the tube so they had to sedate her. They will also do a CT scan to determine whether or not she had a blood clot and thats what caused the problems. They have also started something called "rescue therapy" which is a bunch of meds to treat rejection.
My only fear in this is that she will give up. Or she won't want to fight anymore. I can only hope that she keeps fighting like she always has, she has had it so good so far since her surgery, things have been going so well. I know she was getting really fed up with the infection she was fighting earlier in the week, but apparently the problem was rejection.
I feel so far away right now, but at the same time I doubt that being there would make a difference because she is asleep and knows that my parents are there. I am so scared right now, I know she is in the best of hands but sometimes when she goes in for these evaluations they never seem to be sure whats going on, and I know that its one of my sister's greatest frustrations. We both know that they are the best at what they do, but at the same time its really hard when they can't give you a solid reason or explanation.
I hope everything goes up from here...I really thought that she wasn't going to have anymore issues. Seeing her on the oxygen and having her color fade again made me feel like we were right back at the beginning before she even got the transplant. Its depressing to say but sometimes it feels like that.
I am struggling really hard with this right now. I was feeling like I was going to be stress free for once...now I have something else to worry about. My mom and Conor keep telling me not to worry about it, because it won't change anything, but its easy just to say that. I am going to worry, I can't help it. I am here, they are there.
transplant