Hard to keep going...
Well damn, yesterday I didnt end up packing anything. I ended up working on packing up some book orders, cleaning around the house and I did some laundry. I could have packed last night, but this is alot harder than I thought it was going to be. I'm still feeling so hurt, and sad. I keep *hoping* Mike will come home from work one day and tell me he changed his mind, but my thoughts are in a complete dream world. I still cant get my brain to realize it's over between us. It just hurts too much to feel anything right now. I know once I start packing my mind will be occupied, and I'll get it done, but god... until I leave for LA to go find myself an apartment, I think my body will be moving all on its own. Kinda like an outter body experience but different, cause I know my head and heart wont be there as I make my move back home to california. Ugh it just hurts. Getting over someone you love itsnt easy. My mom keeps telling me I need to treat this loss and grieve just like I would like a death, because even though Mike is still alive, he'll no longer be in my life, so the grieving process is similar to grieving a death. It's amazing I find the strength each day to keep going. I guess that says something right? I wish I could fast forward time and get to the point in my life where I'm ok, and it doesnt hurt as much anymore.