Dec 20, 2004 13:32
I loved the whole formal nite. Everything about it made it so worth while.From dinner to the end of the nite at the park. The limo was so phat it had three plasma screens and a playstation! We got our drink on and pulled up like the pimps that we are. Matt and all them were hilarious! Matt got so wasted he passed out before we even got to his house and I do have to say that hs date had a better time while he was asleep then I think that she would have had if he would have been awake. Danny and I had so much fun was pleasantly surprised at tha fact that he could and wasnt nervous to get his groove on. It was funny cus he got all embarrassed when he stepped on my dress it was alright tho cus he only did it twice! I laughed I know that I havent had that much fun at formal in the four years that I have gone.
Anyhoo total dilemma that I am havin that I cant EVEN begin to hatch out because of CERTAIN people that choose to read this no offense but I really just dont feel like dealin wit u. I mean I dunno I know that I should but I dunno if I can handle it. So I am going to try my best and write it in giberish. Here we go..............
Ibi wibaibnt tiboibo fiball ibin libovibe siboib bibaibd abanib fiboibund thibeib pibeibrfibect gibuiby..... oh my god this is so hard.... bibuibt Ibi thibiibnk thibaibt hibeib libikibes iboibur othibeibr fribenid and all I wanna do is scream. Fuck it...... I really think that this guy could change the way that I feel about trust and everything that I doubt. But I cant tell which way he wants to take it yeah I havent asked cus I dont want to set myself up for another fall yet I wanna just wanna finally have someone that I can be with. I dont want it to get serious too fast yet its nice to have the option. I wish that I wasnt so insecure I wish he wasnt so unsure or I wish that he would just let me know what the hell is goin on. I guess the real thing that I am scared of is.... thibeib fibaibct thibaibt hibeib mibitibe gibeibt wibiibth hibeibr. If that happens I dunno if I would survive. And I hate how that fuckin sounds so life or death but I seriously like this person that much and I....... am just stuck. It feels like anything that I mite do I will loose mre than what I plan too. Man, I am just going to be a nun. Ha that will neva work out. I'm not Luci... I didnt think that I would have been affected this much but our hibistiboryib with pibartibicibulibar fibamibiliby mibembibers Ibi just didnt know how well we "clicked" And I know that my feelings are deep cus I just wanna be more but if friends is all I can reach then I would rather do that and never breathe a word of this to him.