painstaking examination of all that can be heard, felt, seen, tasted and smelt
yet i have not been able to make sense of all this chaotic beauty around me nor could i repeat its hideous glory in any words understandable to the rest of the world, but I'll say this much:
I have a great porch and my rhododendrons have not died yet and i may get a job that suits me and i am always discovering new delights and even the darkest days are waylaid by the stunning effects of the olympia summer sun. furthermore, i am learning more than I could have ever imagined possible, especially post undergraduate studies. most importantly i give love daily and always, and am loved in return by my friends, family, and partner.
I think I have finally recovered what i know to be my unique, personal energy, because i wake up everyday with a purpose, no matter how small, and I don't find myself grasping for straws in the dark, not in any context. i feel as though an enormous, crushing weight has been lifted from my shoulders, my feet and my chest, and now i breathe clearly and think without a cloud of despondence over my thoughts.
it's been a long fucking battle and i am very pleased to see full light again.
I have a great porch and my rhododendrons have not died yet and i may get a job that suits me and i am always discovering new delights and even the darkest days are waylaid by the stunning effects of the olympia summer sun. furthermore, i am learning more than I could have ever imagined possible, especially post undergraduate studies. most importantly i give love daily and always, and am loved in return by my friends, family, and partner.
I think I have finally recovered what i know to be my unique, personal energy, because i wake up everyday with a purpose, no matter how small, and I don't find myself grasping for straws in the dark, not in any context. i feel as though an enormous, crushing weight has been lifted from my shoulders, my feet and my chest, and now i breathe clearly and think without a cloud of despondence over my thoughts.
it's been a long fucking battle and i am very pleased to see full light again.