things happening
well been thinking of writing on here but I just haven't been taking the time lately. I have been hopeing for some time to work with my blacksmithing stuff. I have been fletching arrows for like the last 3 days. today my car wouldn't start. a cap forget the name at the moment is cracked. stuped plastic. Not much really to say just been working and trying to acheve things. power went out for a few moments today as well that was interesting. I worry andy has started to drink again fairly hevily but seems to understand the problems. Hopefully the enlightenment and ability to follow through won't alude him. I was pissed among other things that just set me off today I wasn't able to go spend the night over at meshelles. I hope she understands that I really am not happy to have missed the time spent with her. I don't think I show it at all sadly how much I love to spend just a relaxing day doing nothing at her place with her. I wish it wasn't her familys place but oh well. I love being around her she makes me smile so much. snuggling up with her would really brighten my day thats for shure. I just want to relax and calm down and not feel the need to do anything. I think I am getting really stressed out. but I am really not shure. trying to keep so much in the scope of my mind. like a delicate spiderweb. focus in on one thing and lose sight of the whole. yet it is hard to trace the string after the spider makes the web. I have been working on a bone flute and it does make a sound a very clear and loud one. but I have only been able to make that sound twice usher forth from it. Lots of work I am shure before I get it all the way there. Will be nice when I do but for now it just makes a huhhhhhhhhh sound. soon when I have the nice days out I might take out the shave horse dust it off and work on making an atlatle and a stick for playing lacross. dam I am tired and pissed. just wanna cuddle up to my sweetheart and stop thinking stop this energy that moves through me like lightning. mentaly tired yet constantly needing to accomplish things. I keep trying to meditate and be a part of this energy instead of an encapturing vessile that is busting at the seams trying to hold it. I feel like I have done so little. Made so little learned so little. I did something something that makes it a little easyer to see the whole of the web I am on. I drew out on one page all the things I have made thus far in my life. I use them. I designed them. I made them. These are goals I have reached. then I drew all the things that I know exactly how I am going to make them and have started making or colecting the materials to do just that. Then on the 3rd and final page I drew the things that are as of yet still just an idea an idea without a set peramiter. these are goals goals to reach. I noteced that the page I have of the things I have accomplished is quite full. It has helped me to make myself realize that I have done quite a bit. well off to sit down and eat some food. out we go. to a sit down place. Hmm but where. don't know. Well hmm maybee I will wright more later. hmm.-