- 13 -
The past two weeks have been rather eventful, between dealing with the heightened feelings of affection and the sickness. After bottling all the feelings inside first out of despair and then nervousness, I finally told her everything: how she made me feel, how upset it made me when I thought she was gone, where to go from here now that it turns out she felt the same way all along. Are we in a relationship now? Are we supposed to now that we've admitted our affections for each other? This is very confusing territory for me. I never felt so strongly this way about anyone prior to her.
Yet, now that the effects of what turned out to be the annual fair mangoes have worn off, I don't feel as desperately in love with her as I thought. Was the feeling artificial? I'd hate to believe that a fruit was the real cause of my love and pain and that Renge had nothing to do with this. Strange, I can only say her name in regards to all this within the cover of privacy. It must be an indication that I'm still unsure about this situation. If there's anything I'm actually sure of about Renge, it's that I do want to get to know her better. She seems like a friendly, pleasant person from what I know about her. I suppose we'll see what happens from there.
I've been staying at the hospital under Hanatarou's care for the past week. As much as I hate to admit it, my lifelong illness seems to have returned. Perhaps I knew since I first felt ill that it did, but after living a relatively healthy, normal life for about a year, I wanted to deny that horrid possibility. I don't want things to go this way again. I just...don't want to be weak anymore.
Yet, now that the effects of what turned out to be the annual fair mangoes have worn off, I don't feel as desperately in love with her as I thought. Was the feeling artificial? I'd hate to believe that a fruit was the real cause of my love and pain and that Renge had nothing to do with this. Strange, I can only say her name in regards to all this within the cover of privacy. It must be an indication that I'm still unsure about this situation. If there's anything I'm actually sure of about Renge, it's that I do want to get to know her better. She seems like a friendly, pleasant person from what I know about her. I suppose we'll see what happens from there.
I've been staying at the hospital under Hanatarou's care for the past week. As much as I hate to admit it, my lifelong illness seems to have returned. Perhaps I knew since I first felt ill that it did, but after living a relatively healthy, normal life for about a year, I wanted to deny that horrid possibility. I don't want things to go this way again. I just...don't want to be weak anymore.