(no subject)
I'm pretty sure I'm having an existential melt down. I don't feel quite right, mentally or emotionally. My typing and my spelling are completely fucked, which is odd for me. Usually, even if I'm crying hysterically, my typing and spelling are constants. Just one of those things. It took me a good 10 minutes to correct all of the mistakes just in these few short sentences.
Do I really hate myself this much, to continue to do this to myself?
I feel like going back to bed, for the third time today. Every time I wake up, I feel worse. My brain hurts. My soul hurts. My heart, especially, hurts. I feel like I got run over by a truck.
I feel really lost.
I feel really destructive. This is not a normal feeling for me. It hasn't been for many years. I thought I was over this. Why now? Why now, do I feel this urge to destroy myself, to make my outsides match my shredded insides?
Help.
Do I really hate myself this much, to continue to do this to myself?
I feel like going back to bed, for the third time today. Every time I wake up, I feel worse. My brain hurts. My soul hurts. My heart, especially, hurts. I feel like I got run over by a truck.
I feel really lost.
I feel really destructive. This is not a normal feeling for me. It hasn't been for many years. I thought I was over this. Why now? Why now, do I feel this urge to destroy myself, to make my outsides match my shredded insides?
Help.