(no subject)
Ryoga's best friend
by Icesythe (I tried saying that aloud and it came out "isith", which made me feel lame, so I said it correctly, and just felt lamer.)
3 years ago Ryoga Habiki Died, or so everyone thought However whan Ranma finds him unchoncious In the Usual vacant lot it stirs more questions than answers as Ryoga dosent have any memeroy of the past 3 years or what dark force had kept him for that time.
I think Ryouga is probably one of my favorite characters in Ranma 1/2. One day I plan to find a 'fic that does him justice.
I get what the author was trying to spell here, but "unchoncious" is a really, really funny misspelling. It sounds like some sort of failed Greek god. Unchoncious, God of sleeping during your spelling lesson in fifth grade.
Category:
Angst? I don't really know.
Status:
Work in Progress -- 1 Complete Chapter
First Complaint: "No way this has to be a dream Habiki wake up, Akane couldn’t have married that guy he couldn’t even remember her name for half a day and now..." Calm down Ranma is just messing with you I mean All of that couldn’t have happened I haven’t been gone that long and even if I had acne would have mailed me a something that way I could rust in at the last monument where the priest says if any man has just reason why these two should not be wed then let him speak now or forever..."
I don't know if you can see it there, but the author has a few mistakes. Just a few. Just enough so that I could barely understand the story.
By the way, spelling "Akane" like "acne" was just... amazing.
Rating:
"RANMA SMASH!"
The Good:
There is nothing good about this story. Not only does it have an uninteresting storyline so far (I've never really been a huge fan of the "we thought you were dead hurr hurr" stories, though), but it's just really poorly-written. I feel like the author just smashed their head on the keyboard until something appeared on the screen. Something unholy. Something resembling Story's and Abstract Finger-Painting's inbred love-child that they spawned when they were drunk in Tijuana one night. Dr. Weird from Aqua Teen Hunger Force was most definitely involved, as well.
Aside from that, this has the distinct air of a potential Ryouga/Ranma-chan 'fic, and we all know how ioed feels about those.
The Bad:
Where does one begin?
"hump who would have thunk it?" Ryoga said staring off at the dark cloudy sky. "You did miss me after all, loosening your edge Ranma?" He smiled still staring at the sky.
"That’s Not funny Ryoga!" She said sternly wiping a single tear form her deep blue spheres and sniffling a little. "They never found the body but then again they never managed to clear all of that rubble. I thought you and Your bone slicing yellow bandanas were still down there. You were the closest thing to a friend I ever had... even if you did want to kill me." She cracked a faint smile.
"Guess you just don’t know what you have until its gone do ya." Ryoga said not moving even an inch. "Ya know I Always thought that you and Akane would Be those two silly kids I knew Hating each other on the outside while keeping the fires burning deep down on the inside for each other. I always thought your engagement would last forever and you two would grow old together apart like that and she would always have room in her heart for me her pet P-chan, guess those days are over Hugh Saotome?
"Me too Ryoga me too." Ranma sighed and hung her head.
"Hating each other on the outside while keeping the fires burning deep down on the inside for each other" what? Ryouga does not say things like that! He doesn't! He yells a lot, but he is not an eloquent speaker! He is not observant! I don't care if he's been gone for 3 years, he doesn't even remember them. "Hump"... hehe... "hump." Ehum.
Also, Ryouga asked Ranma "guess those days are over Hugh Saotome?" (I dunno who this Hugh is, but he better get out of this author's way before he gets hurt), and Ranma responds "Me too Ryoga me too." That's not a proper response, not at all.
"Deep blue spheres" is a terrible way to describe blue eyes.
Apparently, what's occurred thus far in the story is that Ryouga has been missing for 3 years (presumed dead as he was the only one not to come out of a freak landslide; yes, because no one would dig for him). During this time, Akane has married "Shinoekke", Ranma no longer changes back with cold water, and Ryouga never changes into P-chan.
In this scene, Ranma and Ryouga are sharing a room. Apparently, Ranma lives in an apartment with Nabiki and Ukyou, in a restaurant.
Yes.
Okay, what? I may be nitpicking here, but Nabiki would never live with Ranma, in an apartment, with Ukyou. I cannot envision a world where this is happening.
Okay, I'm off-track. The piece I've included isn't even the worst of it, but it's still pretty bad. I'm almost positive this is going to be a Ranma-chanXRyouga 'fic, and whilst I'm all for trying out things that the creator didn't necessarily intend, the Ryouga/Ranma thing has always been a bit difficult for me to accept. Really, RanmaXBoi has always given me cause to frown. Ranma has made countless proclamations of his "manhood"; the idea that he'd stay a girl for a man is ludicrous. Aside from that, Ranma seems to find homosexuality a bizarre impossibility, and he's proven that he's not attracted to men.
Ryouga, maybe. I don't know about him, honestly.
Regardless, this 'fic is just really poorly-written and planned-out. I don't think the author considered these characters enough, nor did they even spellcheck. Apparently, someone supposedly edited this C.H.U.D. beast of a 'fic (how'd you do it? Seriously, I wanna know). If they did, they must be blind. I swear, if someone even looks at this with the intention of editing it, their head would a'splode.
Final Thoughts:
1) I think someone's out to make me hate fanfic writers. Some of them are just so depressingly bad at what they're doing, it makes my head hurt. No, seriously, I have an actual physical headache from trying to read this.
2) In a world with spellcheck and, you know, other people in it, you spell "across" "accost". How does that happen?
3) Be careful Icesythe, your misspelled nick and terrible editing skills might make me "loosen my edge" on you.
by Icesythe (I tried saying that aloud and it came out "isith", which made me feel lame, so I said it correctly, and just felt lamer.)
3 years ago Ryoga Habiki Died, or so everyone thought However whan Ranma finds him unchoncious In the Usual vacant lot it stirs more questions than answers as Ryoga dosent have any memeroy of the past 3 years or what dark force had kept him for that time.
I think Ryouga is probably one of my favorite characters in Ranma 1/2. One day I plan to find a 'fic that does him justice.
I get what the author was trying to spell here, but "unchoncious" is a really, really funny misspelling. It sounds like some sort of failed Greek god. Unchoncious, God of sleeping during your spelling lesson in fifth grade.
Category:
Angst? I don't really know.
Status:
Work in Progress -- 1 Complete Chapter
First Complaint: "No way this has to be a dream Habiki wake up, Akane couldn’t have married that guy he couldn’t even remember her name for half a day and now..." Calm down Ranma is just messing with you I mean All of that couldn’t have happened I haven’t been gone that long and even if I had acne would have mailed me a something that way I could rust in at the last monument where the priest says if any man has just reason why these two should not be wed then let him speak now or forever..."
I don't know if you can see it there, but the author has a few mistakes. Just a few. Just enough so that I could barely understand the story.
By the way, spelling "Akane" like "acne" was just... amazing.
Rating:
"RANMA SMASH!"
The Good:
There is nothing good about this story. Not only does it have an uninteresting storyline so far (I've never really been a huge fan of the "we thought you were dead hurr hurr" stories, though), but it's just really poorly-written. I feel like the author just smashed their head on the keyboard until something appeared on the screen. Something unholy. Something resembling Story's and Abstract Finger-Painting's inbred love-child that they spawned when they were drunk in Tijuana one night. Dr. Weird from Aqua Teen Hunger Force was most definitely involved, as well.
Aside from that, this has the distinct air of a potential Ryouga/Ranma-chan 'fic, and we all know how ioed feels about those.
The Bad:
Where does one begin?
"hump who would have thunk it?" Ryoga said staring off at the dark cloudy sky. "You did miss me after all, loosening your edge Ranma?" He smiled still staring at the sky.
"That’s Not funny Ryoga!" She said sternly wiping a single tear form her deep blue spheres and sniffling a little. "They never found the body but then again they never managed to clear all of that rubble. I thought you and Your bone slicing yellow bandanas were still down there. You were the closest thing to a friend I ever had... even if you did want to kill me." She cracked a faint smile.
"Guess you just don’t know what you have until its gone do ya." Ryoga said not moving even an inch. "Ya know I Always thought that you and Akane would Be those two silly kids I knew Hating each other on the outside while keeping the fires burning deep down on the inside for each other. I always thought your engagement would last forever and you two would grow old together apart like that and she would always have room in her heart for me her pet P-chan, guess those days are over Hugh Saotome?
"Me too Ryoga me too." Ranma sighed and hung her head.
"Hating each other on the outside while keeping the fires burning deep down on the inside for each other" what? Ryouga does not say things like that! He doesn't! He yells a lot, but he is not an eloquent speaker! He is not observant! I don't care if he's been gone for 3 years, he doesn't even remember them. "Hump"... hehe... "hump." Ehum.
Also, Ryouga asked Ranma "guess those days are over Hugh Saotome?" (I dunno who this Hugh is, but he better get out of this author's way before he gets hurt), and Ranma responds "Me too Ryoga me too." That's not a proper response, not at all.
"Deep blue spheres" is a terrible way to describe blue eyes.
Apparently, what's occurred thus far in the story is that Ryouga has been missing for 3 years (presumed dead as he was the only one not to come out of a freak landslide; yes, because no one would dig for him). During this time, Akane has married "Shinoekke", Ranma no longer changes back with cold water, and Ryouga never changes into P-chan.
In this scene, Ranma and Ryouga are sharing a room. Apparently, Ranma lives in an apartment with Nabiki and Ukyou, in a restaurant.
Yes.
Okay, what? I may be nitpicking here, but Nabiki would never live with Ranma, in an apartment, with Ukyou. I cannot envision a world where this is happening.
Okay, I'm off-track. The piece I've included isn't even the worst of it, but it's still pretty bad. I'm almost positive this is going to be a Ranma-chanXRyouga 'fic, and whilst I'm all for trying out things that the creator didn't necessarily intend, the Ryouga/Ranma thing has always been a bit difficult for me to accept. Really, RanmaXBoi has always given me cause to frown. Ranma has made countless proclamations of his "manhood"; the idea that he'd stay a girl for a man is ludicrous. Aside from that, Ranma seems to find homosexuality a bizarre impossibility, and he's proven that he's not attracted to men.
Ryouga, maybe. I don't know about him, honestly.
Regardless, this 'fic is just really poorly-written and planned-out. I don't think the author considered these characters enough, nor did they even spellcheck. Apparently, someone supposedly edited this C.H.U.D. beast of a 'fic (how'd you do it? Seriously, I wanna know). If they did, they must be blind. I swear, if someone even looks at this with the intention of editing it, their head would a'splode.
Final Thoughts:
1) I think someone's out to make me hate fanfic writers. Some of them are just so depressingly bad at what they're doing, it makes my head hurt. No, seriously, I have an actual physical headache from trying to read this.
2) In a world with spellcheck and, you know, other people in it, you spell "across" "accost". How does that happen?
3) Be careful Icesythe, your misspelled nick and terrible editing skills might make me "loosen my edge" on you.