It's so bad I had to make an icon to describe how I feel
I've had a fangirl crisis of faith in the last three or four days, and there really is nothing I think ANYONE can do. Up till now, my experience with Ioan hate was along one of two lines;
1. "How can he marry Alice Evans? Can't he see she's all wrong for him?"
2. "He can't act/he's not intelligent."
I would roll my eyes and ignore the "1" responses, and growl protectively to the "2" responses, then shrug it off.
But I've been encountering things lately that have literally settled inside me and made me feel like shit.
*I stumbled across an anti fan site where allegations rage that Ioan does cocaine, that he's holding onto his looks due to botox, that the golf-club induced black eye was actually a sign that Alice abuses him, that he's washed up and a failure, and a lot of comments along the lines of "OH DEAR GOD DON'T LET THEM PROCREATE!"
* Of the six LJ communities I belong to, four were joined due to Ioan/Hornblower love. The last posts on each of the sites were on August 27th, 2008, two on October 7th, 2008, and one on January 24th, 2009. Each of the last posts were made by me. In some cases, most of the recent posts were all from me.
*Since 2006, Ioan's been working on a variety of projects. After 2007, he had five projects lined up to be released. Two dropped out of existance, one was never released to a wide audience, one was released to a wider audience, but was lambasted by the critics, and the one that managed to get released left most of his part on the cutting room floor.
I used to have a silly little daydream that, a la 300, a small but fierce group of Ioanites stood against the Alice Evans haters. Now I look around and I suddenly feel like I'm alone on this battlefield, most of my comrades having deserted, or worse, defected. I'm standing there, sword in hand, refusing to back down, waiting for the inevitable:
Or worse:
"I must never see you again."
It is the sickest feeling in the world to feel like you're alone, in any context. I'm well aware that feeling like a lone fangirl is ordinarily not something to angst about. But when you once felt like you were surrounded by other fangirls, and now you feel alone--worse, you feel like you're somehow poisioning the others, talking so much that others are getting sick of it--it can hurt.
I want to believe this has just been one of those bad times in Ioan's career (after all, no one can have a smooth, easy path to the top of stardom. Besides, he was going great there since about 2004, I suppose it was high time for a slump), and the lack of interest is due to the lack of movies and the fact that he dropped off the radar to start a family, that the combination of both was just bad timing. But as is true of human nature, when you get in one of these dark moods, it's very, very hard to see things that way. You begin to doubt your loyalty, and then you begin to doubt him. And that's the one thing I never want to do.
This is probably the stupidest thing in the world to get worked up about, and that's part of the reason I feel the way I do. But emotions are powerful things that we take for granted; they engulf you, and there is nothing you can do but keep your head above water and wait for the tide to ebb.
1. "How can he marry Alice Evans? Can't he see she's all wrong for him?"
2. "He can't act/he's not intelligent."
I would roll my eyes and ignore the "1" responses, and growl protectively to the "2" responses, then shrug it off.
But I've been encountering things lately that have literally settled inside me and made me feel like shit.
*I stumbled across an anti fan site where allegations rage that Ioan does cocaine, that he's holding onto his looks due to botox, that the golf-club induced black eye was actually a sign that Alice abuses him, that he's washed up and a failure, and a lot of comments along the lines of "OH DEAR GOD DON'T LET THEM PROCREATE!"
* Of the six LJ communities I belong to, four were joined due to Ioan/Hornblower love. The last posts on each of the sites were on August 27th, 2008, two on October 7th, 2008, and one on January 24th, 2009. Each of the last posts were made by me. In some cases, most of the recent posts were all from me.
*Since 2006, Ioan's been working on a variety of projects. After 2007, he had five projects lined up to be released. Two dropped out of existance, one was never released to a wide audience, one was released to a wider audience, but was lambasted by the critics, and the one that managed to get released left most of his part on the cutting room floor.
I used to have a silly little daydream that, a la 300, a small but fierce group of Ioanites stood against the Alice Evans haters. Now I look around and I suddenly feel like I'm alone on this battlefield, most of my comrades having deserted, or worse, defected. I'm standing there, sword in hand, refusing to back down, waiting for the inevitable:
Or worse:
"I must never see you again."
It is the sickest feeling in the world to feel like you're alone, in any context. I'm well aware that feeling like a lone fangirl is ordinarily not something to angst about. But when you once felt like you were surrounded by other fangirls, and now you feel alone--worse, you feel like you're somehow poisioning the others, talking so much that others are getting sick of it--it can hurt.
I want to believe this has just been one of those bad times in Ioan's career (after all, no one can have a smooth, easy path to the top of stardom. Besides, he was going great there since about 2004, I suppose it was high time for a slump), and the lack of interest is due to the lack of movies and the fact that he dropped off the radar to start a family, that the combination of both was just bad timing. But as is true of human nature, when you get in one of these dark moods, it's very, very hard to see things that way. You begin to doubt your loyalty, and then you begin to doubt him. And that's the one thing I never want to do.
This is probably the stupidest thing in the world to get worked up about, and that's part of the reason I feel the way I do. But emotions are powerful things that we take for granted; they engulf you, and there is nothing you can do but keep your head above water and wait for the tide to ebb.