(no subject)
Well...the summer has been an experience so far. Next Friday I get to move back home. I have lived on campus for almost two years now. Ever since the day before move-in day fall 2004. I'm ready to get away for a while. Maybe that's why this year seemed to have a bit of a drag to it. There was nothing separating it from the previous year. There was no closure or time to sort things out. This year there will be. Five things I've learned so far this summer:
1. It's easier to maintain a state of cleanliness, than it is to clean up on huge mess.
2. I need more self discipline. I need to be stronger both mentally and physically.
3. I need to stop living my life out through others. I don't need approval for everything I do.
4. There should be little to no dissonance between what I Think, Believe, Say, and Do.
5. Moustaches are easy to grow, but hard to trim.
My thoughts...
1. Cleaning this apartment out was a nightmare. There was so much nasty and not so nasty crap. I have no idea who half this shit belongs to. But I do know that Tim and I either have to throw it out or move it into the new apartment. Deep cleaning this hole out is going to blow. I see this as mostly my fault, I'm the messiest of the four of us. But not anymore. Instead of just throwing my dishes in the sink, for the most part I've been taking the time to clean them immediately. This creates a near constant state of cleanliness. I haven't been quite as good with clothes, but that's starting to change too. Instead of just throwing them on the ground or around my computer, its easier to put them away. Segue way to #2: Living with a "If they don't like they'll tell me" attitude is a very inconsiderate and irrespoible way to live and act. That has been my previous outlook on life, in many things. And that has lead to some stupid things being said and done, and ambiguous confusion.For that I am sorry, because I know that has hurt many of my friends.
2. It's hard to stay healthy when your diet consists of hot dogs, cereal, pizza, and fast food. But I need to be physically stronger. I've been running everyday for a week now, and consistently lifting before that. If I'm going to join Americorps, I need to be in a position to offer them something worth accepting. I need to take care of my body. I need to spend my time on the useful instead of the useless. No more of this sleeping all afternoon nonsense. For the most part, I've been improving on this too. Get my 8 hours, no more no less. Limits on my Internet time. Instead of perusing eBay or facebook, I should be reading, writing, thinking, spending time with people. Again, for about a week, I've really been improving on this. I need to expand and expound on what intellect I have. I need to work on my vocabulary, grammar, and how I should properly convey and express my ideas. I need to expand my knowledge, of all subjects. I need to start getting A's, because I am capable of it. Outside of the news, LOST, and the occasional history channel special, no more TV. After 7 weeks of living with a constant watcher of reality and low-brow sitcoms, I'm tired of it.
3. This ties in with #2. Sometimes I get interested in things because other people are interested in them, and I don't realize that's why I'm interested in something. Which isn't always bad, but sometimes in retrospect I realize that they reason I got into something was solely because person X. That will stop. I will try to be kinder and more thoughtful of how I treat both my friends, and strangers. I don't need their approval. I need to develop myself. Through broadening and diversifying my knowledge, I can develop my own interests instead of piggy backing off of what my firnds are interested in. Not that this means they can't tune me in to things or have common interests, it just means I need to stop putting as much stock into than I used to. I need to quit seeking attention from Perhipal people that treat me like some crazy character in the soap opera of their lives and not a real person. Fuck'em.
4. I need to get serious about living like Christ. If I believe that the love of Christ is radical, it's time I start manifesting instead of talking about and critiquing others for not doing so. Instead of concentrating on what is not being done, I need to concentrate on doing. When School starts again, I am volunteering at the Center of Hope. I need to be more accepting and loving of others. My sexuality class has been a lot more impacting than I originally thought it would be. My views and actions regarding the breadth and depth and scope of sexuality need to be more in alignment. I need to be more kind, more gentle, more patient, and more selfless. These are not definite destinations, but they are directions.
5. My moustache is healthy, but it keeps getting smaller. Trimming is hard with a straight edge. I had a nice Jim Croche going, but now it's just a Euro-stash.
Final end notes: I am impressed by Tim Sommer, Greg Cordell, and Jesse Bridges. They have been nothing but kind and friendly to me. Thank-you. I look forward to seeing all my friends again soon.
1. It's easier to maintain a state of cleanliness, than it is to clean up on huge mess.
2. I need more self discipline. I need to be stronger both mentally and physically.
3. I need to stop living my life out through others. I don't need approval for everything I do.
4. There should be little to no dissonance between what I Think, Believe, Say, and Do.
5. Moustaches are easy to grow, but hard to trim.
My thoughts...
1. Cleaning this apartment out was a nightmare. There was so much nasty and not so nasty crap. I have no idea who half this shit belongs to. But I do know that Tim and I either have to throw it out or move it into the new apartment. Deep cleaning this hole out is going to blow. I see this as mostly my fault, I'm the messiest of the four of us. But not anymore. Instead of just throwing my dishes in the sink, for the most part I've been taking the time to clean them immediately. This creates a near constant state of cleanliness. I haven't been quite as good with clothes, but that's starting to change too. Instead of just throwing them on the ground or around my computer, its easier to put them away. Segue way to #2: Living with a "If they don't like they'll tell me" attitude is a very inconsiderate and irrespoible way to live and act. That has been my previous outlook on life, in many things. And that has lead to some stupid things being said and done, and ambiguous confusion.For that I am sorry, because I know that has hurt many of my friends.
2. It's hard to stay healthy when your diet consists of hot dogs, cereal, pizza, and fast food. But I need to be physically stronger. I've been running everyday for a week now, and consistently lifting before that. If I'm going to join Americorps, I need to be in a position to offer them something worth accepting. I need to take care of my body. I need to spend my time on the useful instead of the useless. No more of this sleeping all afternoon nonsense. For the most part, I've been improving on this too. Get my 8 hours, no more no less. Limits on my Internet time. Instead of perusing eBay or facebook, I should be reading, writing, thinking, spending time with people. Again, for about a week, I've really been improving on this. I need to expand and expound on what intellect I have. I need to work on my vocabulary, grammar, and how I should properly convey and express my ideas. I need to expand my knowledge, of all subjects. I need to start getting A's, because I am capable of it. Outside of the news, LOST, and the occasional history channel special, no more TV. After 7 weeks of living with a constant watcher of reality and low-brow sitcoms, I'm tired of it.
3. This ties in with #2. Sometimes I get interested in things because other people are interested in them, and I don't realize that's why I'm interested in something. Which isn't always bad, but sometimes in retrospect I realize that they reason I got into something was solely because person X. That will stop. I will try to be kinder and more thoughtful of how I treat both my friends, and strangers. I don't need their approval. I need to develop myself. Through broadening and diversifying my knowledge, I can develop my own interests instead of piggy backing off of what my firnds are interested in. Not that this means they can't tune me in to things or have common interests, it just means I need to stop putting as much stock into than I used to. I need to quit seeking attention from Perhipal people that treat me like some crazy character in the soap opera of their lives and not a real person. Fuck'em.
4. I need to get serious about living like Christ. If I believe that the love of Christ is radical, it's time I start manifesting instead of talking about and critiquing others for not doing so. Instead of concentrating on what is not being done, I need to concentrate on doing. When School starts again, I am volunteering at the Center of Hope. I need to be more accepting and loving of others. My sexuality class has been a lot more impacting than I originally thought it would be. My views and actions regarding the breadth and depth and scope of sexuality need to be more in alignment. I need to be more kind, more gentle, more patient, and more selfless. These are not definite destinations, but they are directions.
5. My moustache is healthy, but it keeps getting smaller. Trimming is hard with a straight edge. I had a nice Jim Croche going, but now it's just a Euro-stash.
Final end notes: I am impressed by Tim Sommer, Greg Cordell, and Jesse Bridges. They have been nothing but kind and friendly to me. Thank-you. I look forward to seeing all my friends again soon.