here we go.....
i just cant figure out ne thing ne more....im so lost with life right now...i played massive football which i did amazingly, and had a blast in the rain. Steve came to watch us play...he said hed be killed if her played. lol funny. Dana was suppose to come but i knew she wouldnt....bc she is a compulsive liar. then we went to mcdonalds for lunch. had a good conversation. got him home to shower and i came home to sleep for little while.
Then around 6 i called erin to c if she was home bc steve and I wanted to surprise her and make her smile. Which we succeeded.:-) then we hung out there till like 9 we ordered pizza to her door step...lol...we surprised her by me calling her back bc i told her i would and telling her all this stuff and that she should check behind door number 1....and steve rang the bell and she goes ryan i swear...boom there we were! she was so happy.
then when we came home i needed to talk to her. about somethings...ya before that we busted on steve BIG TIME....so damn funny had to be there for that...and after that i started to talk to her bout the stuff i needed to and then...i dunno i fucked it up...i never got to finish what i was getting at but...i wish someway i could fix it. DAMN IT ALL
i suck at life i always have and always will....i just cant win. I try to help and i fuck it up even more.
i wish that i could just blow myself away and leave this boring outta mind place.
heres a song...mostly for its lyrics cause Orion is all Music
Metallica - Struggle Within
Reaching out for something you've got to feel
While clutching to what you had though was real
Kicking at a dead horse pleases you
No way of showing your gratitude
So many things you don't want to do
What is it? What have you got to lose?
What the hell
What is it you think you're gonna find?
Hypocrite
Boredom sets into the boring mind
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within It suits you fine
Your ruin
You seal your own coffin
The struggling within
Home is not a home it becomes a hell
Turning it into your prison cell
Advantages are taken, Not handed out
While you struggle inside your hell
Reaching out
Grabbing for something you've got to feel
Closing in
The pressure upon you is so unreal
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within It suits you fine
Your ruin
You seal your own coffin
The struggling within
Reaching out for something you've got to feel
While clutching to what you had though was real
What the hell
What is it you think you're gonna find?
Hypocrite
Boredom sets into the boring mind
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within It suits you fine
Your ruin
You seal your own coffin
The struggling within
Then around 6 i called erin to c if she was home bc steve and I wanted to surprise her and make her smile. Which we succeeded.:-) then we hung out there till like 9 we ordered pizza to her door step...lol...we surprised her by me calling her back bc i told her i would and telling her all this stuff and that she should check behind door number 1....and steve rang the bell and she goes ryan i swear...boom there we were! she was so happy.
then when we came home i needed to talk to her. about somethings...ya before that we busted on steve BIG TIME....so damn funny had to be there for that...and after that i started to talk to her bout the stuff i needed to and then...i dunno i fucked it up...i never got to finish what i was getting at but...i wish someway i could fix it. DAMN IT ALL
i suck at life i always have and always will....i just cant win. I try to help and i fuck it up even more.
i wish that i could just blow myself away and leave this boring outta mind place.
heres a song...mostly for its lyrics cause Orion is all Music
Metallica - Struggle Within
Reaching out for something you've got to feel
While clutching to what you had though was real
Kicking at a dead horse pleases you
No way of showing your gratitude
So many things you don't want to do
What is it? What have you got to lose?
What the hell
What is it you think you're gonna find?
Hypocrite
Boredom sets into the boring mind
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within It suits you fine
Your ruin
You seal your own coffin
The struggling within
Home is not a home it becomes a hell
Turning it into your prison cell
Advantages are taken, Not handed out
While you struggle inside your hell
Reaching out
Grabbing for something you've got to feel
Closing in
The pressure upon you is so unreal
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within It suits you fine
Your ruin
You seal your own coffin
The struggling within
Reaching out for something you've got to feel
While clutching to what you had though was real
What the hell
What is it you think you're gonna find?
Hypocrite
Boredom sets into the boring mind
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within
Struggle within It suits you fine
Your ruin
You seal your own coffin
The struggling within