(no subject)

[invaderkitkat]

At home alone on a friday night, being fat and lazy, tired and stressed.
lol, lame I know. I had the choice to go out, but I could not enjoy myself at the moment.

My chest & head hurts almost constantly from stress.
I have been crazier than usual lately.
Just breaking and falling apart constantly.
I am atrocious to people.

I have made so many mistakes, things I cant fix either.
I really hate who I am and where I am...

I have no idea what I should do.
Im so stretched, tainted and wasted.
My life was getting good. I think I was happy once, but I destroyed that happiness.

I could work hard, build plans for myself and try
building up my life now that I am forced kicking and screaming into adulthood.

I am giving up taking chemicals. I have tried them, had a lot of fun, had some bad experiences and now they have lost any appeal that they held.
I would like to try loosing weight the healthier way. i also feel like a part of my mind has been damaged and is irretrievable.

Also I am serious about moving out of sydney. If only for a while.

Everything needs to change. If I continue this way... I just wont.

I need to sleep. Dream away existence.