It's hard being straight...well sort of.
I will go back in time and post some old stuff later, for now I want to get this off my chest. Honestly...how hard is it to be straight with someone. I have been seeing this guy, who I actually feel may have potential to be an awesome boyfriend if we get the spark. He was sweet, understanding and just patient. I loved it, only problem now is...he can't be straight with me. A few days ago we made plans for the day today, when we made the plans before hand, I suggested a movie or lunch and he agreed. Then today I called him to discuss which movie he wanted to see so I wouldn't be dragging him to one we both didn't agree on, then here's the kicker, he tells me he is broke and doesn't get paid until next Friday.
Okay, before you get any ideas, I am not pissed that he was broke, I was pissed he didn't say something earlier. If I had known he was short on cash rather then him "yessing" me, I could have cleaned my room and invited him for our own little movie here with snacks. Or tried to locate anything free going on in town. It's not about not having the money, we already discussed that I wanted him to just tell me when he doesn't have the cash and I would understand because I didn't want to feel I was sucking him dry; or he was paying for me when he couldn't. Again, I could pay my own way, I have no issue with that. All I ask is people be straight with me, let me know, don't lead me to think that we are going on some long day together, have been get all dressed and proper before you drop the bomb on me. So I made sure I was hungry and that we could relate to a movie and all of it came crashing down. Not to mention I don't even think he is going to call when he gets home like he says...*sigh*
Honestly I wish I could just be a pure lesbian...yes they have drama but so far men are just pissing me off. Not to mention someone dear to me is possibly the victim of an affair from his lover and I want to exchange words with the bastard..I'm not going to blog about it too much here until the break-up is final, but nobody in town has my LJ anyway, so I can say whatever the hell I want XD, if they find it I don't care.
Now this doesn't mean I give up on this boy, but I refuse to not state what I need and what i feel has to be. I already suffered one shitty relationship I don't need another. I also got walked on in my past relationships and like hell I am letting it happen again. All I want him to do is be straight with me and call now and again(or when he says he will). If he wants to get to know me that badly, then this shouldn't be a problem, if it is then I guess I have to put my focus elsewhere. But for now, I have faith we can see how far we go, I just need to be more assertive.
Okay, before you get any ideas, I am not pissed that he was broke, I was pissed he didn't say something earlier. If I had known he was short on cash rather then him "yessing" me, I could have cleaned my room and invited him for our own little movie here with snacks. Or tried to locate anything free going on in town. It's not about not having the money, we already discussed that I wanted him to just tell me when he doesn't have the cash and I would understand because I didn't want to feel I was sucking him dry; or he was paying for me when he couldn't. Again, I could pay my own way, I have no issue with that. All I ask is people be straight with me, let me know, don't lead me to think that we are going on some long day together, have been get all dressed and proper before you drop the bomb on me. So I made sure I was hungry and that we could relate to a movie and all of it came crashing down. Not to mention I don't even think he is going to call when he gets home like he says...*sigh*
Honestly I wish I could just be a pure lesbian...yes they have drama but so far men are just pissing me off. Not to mention someone dear to me is possibly the victim of an affair from his lover and I want to exchange words with the bastard..I'm not going to blog about it too much here until the break-up is final, but nobody in town has my LJ anyway, so I can say whatever the hell I want XD, if they find it I don't care.
Now this doesn't mean I give up on this boy, but I refuse to not state what I need and what i feel has to be. I already suffered one shitty relationship I don't need another. I also got walked on in my past relationships and like hell I am letting it happen again. All I want him to do is be straight with me and call now and again(or when he says he will). If he wants to get to know me that badly, then this shouldn't be a problem, if it is then I guess I have to put my focus elsewhere. But for now, I have faith we can see how far we go, I just need to be more assertive.