青蛾之乱
Goreizen #3 - Seiga no Ran (blue moth riot)
記憶のカケラが見つからない
kioku no kakera ga mitsukaranai
I can't find the fragments of my memories
記憶のカケラが何処かに逃げた
kioku no kakera ga dokoka ni nigeta
the fragments of my memories all ran off somewhere
捕まえろ
tsukamaero
I'm going to catch them
分裂
bunretsu
split
旋律に身を震わせた夜
senritsu ni mi o furuwaseta yoru
the night when my body trembled with the melody
足早に忍び寄る冷蔵庫
ashibaya ni shinobiyoru reizouko
the refridgerator creeping quickly
私の双子のお姉ちゃんは生まれてこなかった
atashi no futago no oneechan wa umaretekonakatta
my elder twin who wasn't born in the end
暗黒への扉は開かれ
ankoku e no tobira wa hirakare
the door to darkness is opened
天空から舞い降りた死の霧が立ちこめる
tenkuu kara maiorita shi no kiri ga tachikomeru
the mist of death descending from heaven enshrouds all
やがて私達を縛っていた生理的価値観は不協和音を奏でて崩れ落ちるだろう
yagate atashitachi o shibatteita seiriteki kachikan wa fukyouwaon o sonadete kuzureochirudarou
finally, the physiological value system that has bound us so long will crumble downwards midst the dischord
私は花瓶を割ってしまいました
atashi wa kabin o watteshimaimashita
I broke the flower vase
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
私は借りた本のページを破いてしまいました
atashi wa karita hon no PAGE o yabuiteshimaimashita
I ripped the pages out of a book I borrowed
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
私はちょっと悪戯のつもりでダーツの矢を投げました偶然にもその矢は友人の目に突き刺さってしまいその人は失明してしまいました
atashi wa chotto itazura no tsumori de DARTS no ya o nagemashita guuzen ni mo sono ya wa yuujin no me ni tsukisasatteshimai sono hito wa shitsumei shiteshimaimashita
Just as a little joke, I threw a dart at my friend, but it accidentally stabbed them in the eye and they couldn't see anymore
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
或る日私の飼っている子猫が雨の中をズブ濡れで帰って来たので乾かしてあげようと三分間チンしたら子猫はぐったりとして死んでしまいました
aru hi atashi no katteiru koneko ga ame no naka o zubunure de kaettekita no de kawakashiteageyou to sanpunkan chinshitara koneko wa guttari to shite shindeshimaimashita
One day my kitty came home all wet from being out in the rain, so I thought I'd dry it off and stuck it in the microwave for three minutes, and it died
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
私は皆が「キライだ」というものをキライでもないのに「キライだ」と言いました
atashi wa minna ga "kirai da" to iu mono o kirai demo nai no ni "kirai da" to iimashita
I told one person "no one likes you" even thought it wasn't true
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
しかし私が「キライだ」と言ったらその人は自殺してしまいました
shikashi atashi ga 'kirai da' to ittara sono hito wa jisatsu shiteshimaimashita
but the person I said that to committed suicide
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
殺してやる！
koroshiteyaru!
I'm going to kill you!
やがて現実は過去の藻屑となり安っぽい歴史の一コマへと変換される
yagate genjitsu wa kako no mokuzu to nari yasuppoi rekishi no ikoma e to henkan sareru
The present will finally become just a scrap of the past, and change just into a single scene in insignificant history.
私が生きているという事実は他人しか立証できない
atashi ga ikiteiru to iu jijitsu wa tanin shika risshou dekinai
Only other people can prove that I truly exist
老婆の処女膜！
rouba no shojomaku
the hymen of an old woman!
鬱病の道化師！
utsubyou no doukeshi!
the melancholic clown!
卒業アルバムの心霊写真！
sotsugyou album no shinreishashin!
the photograph of a ghost in my graduation album!
子供の頃から妄想癖は年を追うごとに激しくなっていく
kodomo no koro kara mousouguse wa toshi o ougoto ni hageshikunatteiku
The bad habit I've had of fantasizing has gotten worse with my age
精神料のカウンセリングを受けて「多重人格症」と判明するまで
seishinryou no COUNSELING o ukete "tajuujinkakushou" to hanmei surumade
Until I went to mental counseling and was diagnosed with split personality disorder
「本当の自分の存在」というものを意識したことなんてなかったけれど
"hontou no jibun no sonzai" to iu mono o ishiki shita koto nante nakattakeredo
I've never even thought about what it means to have "just one true self," but
そもそも自分の存在を自分自身で計るなんて所詮不可能なこと
somosomo jibun no sonzai o jibun jishin de hakaru nante shosen fukanou na koto
I think it's truly impossible to measure one's existence on one's own anyway
私の時間は毒を抜かれやがて他人の所有物となる
atashi no jikan wa doku o nukare yagate tanin no shoyuubutsu to naru
the poison will be removed from my time and eventually become someone else's possession
ならばせめて自分の存在を断ち切る自由くらいは確保したい
naraba semete jibun no sonzai o tachikiru jiyuu kurai wa kakuho shitai
But I'd at least like to secure my right to cut off my own life
小さな水泡の中に浮かんでは消える過去のヴィジョン
chiisana suihou no naka ni ukande wa kieru kako no VISION
floating in a small bubble is my vision of my disappearing past
内臓を抉る鳥よ！
naizou o eguru tori yo!
bird that picks out its own innards!
血まみれの海坊主よ！
chimamire no umibouzu yo!
bloodstained sea monster!
気違いじみた痛みよ！
the pain of madness!
この至福の感覚を私はどんなにどんなに待ち望んだことだろう
kono shifuku no kankau o atashi wa donna ni donna ni machinozonda koto darou
For how long have I awaited this blissful sensation?
何千年も何万年もいえ何億年もが今この瞬間に通り過ぎていく
nansennen mo nanmannenmo ie nanokunen mo ga ima kono shunkan ni toorisugiteiku
thousands, tens of thousands, nay, hundreds of millions of years are now passing through this very moment
輝かしい光の渦はよく見ると細やかな粒子であることを確認しながら過去の私を惑わせた
kagayakashii hikari no uzu wa yoku miru to hosoyaka na ryuushi de aru koto o kakunin shinagara kako no atashi o madowaseru
Looking closely in the sparkling vortex of light, while affirming that it's just a collection of thin particles, my past self is led astray
様々な疑問は消えていくのだった
samazama na gimon wa kieteiku no datta
and all my various doubts disappear
私の眼球を覆っていた薄汚い網膜は剥がれ落ち
atashi no gankyuu o kutsugaetta usugitanai moumaku wa hagareochi
the filthy retinas covering my eyes are ripped off
私の耳に詰まっていた三半規管は燃え尽きる
atashi no mimi ni tsumatteita sanhankikan wa moetsukiru
the semicircular canals stuffed into my ears are burned up
私の鼻孔に詰まっていた憎悪はドロドロ溶け出して
atashi no bikou ni tsumatteita zouo wa dorodoro tokedashite
the hatred stuffed in my nostrils drips out
私の喉に詰まっていた呪文は止めどなく溢れ出る
atashi no nodo ni tsumatteita jumon wa tomedonaku afurederu
the curses stuffed in my throat spill out unrelentingly
現実空間なんかよりも
genjitsu kuukan nanka yori mo
much more than present time and space,
遥かにクリアーな世界
haruka ni CLEAR na sekai
a far clearer world
遥かにシンプルな世界
haruka ni SIMPLE na sekai
a far simpler world
遥かにヴィヴィッドな世界
haruka ni VIVID na sekai
a far more vivid world
そして遥かに懐かしい世界
soshite haruka ni natsukashii sekai
and a far more familiar world
今まで抽象的にしか語れなかったのは
ima made chuushouteki ni shika katarenakatta no wa
what I until now could only describe in abstract terms was
人間の貧困な想像力による怠慢ではなかった！
ningen no binkon na souzouryoku ni yoru taiman de wa nakatta!
the negligence spawned by humans' weak imaginations!
記憶のカケラが見つからない
kioku no kakera ga mitsukaranai
I can't find the fragments of my memories
記憶のカケラが何処かに逃げた
kioku no kakera ga dokoka ni nigeta
the fragments of my memories all ran off somewhere
捕まえろ
tsukamaero
I'm going to catch them
分裂
bunretsu
split
旋律に身を震わせた夜
senritsu ni mi o furuwaseta yoru
the night when my body trembled with the melody
足早に忍び寄る冷蔵庫
ashibaya ni shinobiyoru reizouko
the refridgerator creeping quickly
私の双子のお姉ちゃんは生まれてこなかった
atashi no futago no oneechan wa umaretekonakatta
my elder twin who wasn't born in the end
暗黒への扉は開かれ
ankoku e no tobira wa hirakare
the door to darkness is opened
天空から舞い降りた死の霧が立ちこめる
tenkuu kara maiorita shi no kiri ga tachikomeru
the mist of death descending from heaven enshrouds all
やがて私達を縛っていた生理的価値観は不協和音を奏でて崩れ落ちるだろう
yagate atashitachi o shibatteita seiriteki kachikan wa fukyouwaon o sonadete kuzureochirudarou
finally, the physiological value system that has bound us so long will crumble downwards midst the dischord
私は花瓶を割ってしまいました
atashi wa kabin o watteshimaimashita
I broke the flower vase
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
私は借りた本のページを破いてしまいました
atashi wa karita hon no PAGE o yabuiteshimaimashita
I ripped the pages out of a book I borrowed
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
私はちょっと悪戯のつもりでダーツの矢を投げました偶然にもその矢は友人の目に突き刺さってしまいその人は失明してしまいました
atashi wa chotto itazura no tsumori de DARTS no ya o nagemashita guuzen ni mo sono ya wa yuujin no me ni tsukisasatteshimai sono hito wa shitsumei shiteshimaimashita
Just as a little joke, I threw a dart at my friend, but it accidentally stabbed them in the eye and they couldn't see anymore
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
或る日私の飼っている子猫が雨の中をズブ濡れで帰って来たので乾かしてあげようと三分間チンしたら子猫はぐったりとして死んでしまいました
aru hi atashi no katteiru koneko ga ame no naka o zubunure de kaettekita no de kawakashiteageyou to sanpunkan chinshitara koneko wa guttari to shite shindeshimaimashita
One day my kitty came home all wet from being out in the rain, so I thought I'd dry it off and stuck it in the microwave for three minutes, and it died
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
私は皆が「キライだ」というものをキライでもないのに「キライだ」と言いました
atashi wa minna ga "kirai da" to iu mono o kirai demo nai no ni "kirai da" to iimashita
I told one person "no one likes you" even thought it wasn't true
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
しかし私が「キライだ」と言ったらその人は自殺してしまいました
shikashi atashi ga 'kirai da' to ittara sono hito wa jisatsu shiteshimaimashita
but the person I said that to committed suicide
でもわざとじゃない
demo wazato janai
but it wasn't on purpose
殺してやる！
koroshiteyaru!
I'm going to kill you!
やがて現実は過去の藻屑となり安っぽい歴史の一コマへと変換される
yagate genjitsu wa kako no mokuzu to nari yasuppoi rekishi no ikoma e to henkan sareru
The present will finally become just a scrap of the past, and change just into a single scene in insignificant history.
私が生きているという事実は他人しか立証できない
atashi ga ikiteiru to iu jijitsu wa tanin shika risshou dekinai
Only other people can prove that I truly exist
老婆の処女膜！
rouba no shojomaku
the hymen of an old woman!
鬱病の道化師！
utsubyou no doukeshi!
the melancholic clown!
卒業アルバムの心霊写真！
sotsugyou album no shinreishashin!
the photograph of a ghost in my graduation album!
子供の頃から妄想癖は年を追うごとに激しくなっていく
kodomo no koro kara mousouguse wa toshi o ougoto ni hageshikunatteiku
The bad habit I've had of fantasizing has gotten worse with my age
精神料のカウンセリングを受けて「多重人格症」と判明するまで
seishinryou no COUNSELING o ukete "tajuujinkakushou" to hanmei surumade
Until I went to mental counseling and was diagnosed with split personality disorder
「本当の自分の存在」というものを意識したことなんてなかったけれど
"hontou no jibun no sonzai" to iu mono o ishiki shita koto nante nakattakeredo
I've never even thought about what it means to have "just one true self," but
そもそも自分の存在を自分自身で計るなんて所詮不可能なこと
somosomo jibun no sonzai o jibun jishin de hakaru nante shosen fukanou na koto
I think it's truly impossible to measure one's existence on one's own anyway
私の時間は毒を抜かれやがて他人の所有物となる
atashi no jikan wa doku o nukare yagate tanin no shoyuubutsu to naru
the poison will be removed from my time and eventually become someone else's possession
ならばせめて自分の存在を断ち切る自由くらいは確保したい
naraba semete jibun no sonzai o tachikiru jiyuu kurai wa kakuho shitai
But I'd at least like to secure my right to cut off my own life
小さな水泡の中に浮かんでは消える過去のヴィジョン
chiisana suihou no naka ni ukande wa kieru kako no VISION
floating in a small bubble is my vision of my disappearing past
内臓を抉る鳥よ！
naizou o eguru tori yo!
bird that picks out its own innards!
血まみれの海坊主よ！
chimamire no umibouzu yo!
bloodstained sea monster!
気違いじみた痛みよ！
the pain of madness!
この至福の感覚を私はどんなにどんなに待ち望んだことだろう
kono shifuku no kankau o atashi wa donna ni donna ni machinozonda koto darou
For how long have I awaited this blissful sensation?
何千年も何万年もいえ何億年もが今この瞬間に通り過ぎていく
nansennen mo nanmannenmo ie nanokunen mo ga ima kono shunkan ni toorisugiteiku
thousands, tens of thousands, nay, hundreds of millions of years are now passing through this very moment
輝かしい光の渦はよく見ると細やかな粒子であることを確認しながら過去の私を惑わせた
kagayakashii hikari no uzu wa yoku miru to hosoyaka na ryuushi de aru koto o kakunin shinagara kako no atashi o madowaseru
Looking closely in the sparkling vortex of light, while affirming that it's just a collection of thin particles, my past self is led astray
様々な疑問は消えていくのだった
samazama na gimon wa kieteiku no datta
and all my various doubts disappear
私の眼球を覆っていた薄汚い網膜は剥がれ落ち
atashi no gankyuu o kutsugaetta usugitanai moumaku wa hagareochi
the filthy retinas covering my eyes are ripped off
私の耳に詰まっていた三半規管は燃え尽きる
atashi no mimi ni tsumatteita sanhankikan wa moetsukiru
the semicircular canals stuffed into my ears are burned up
私の鼻孔に詰まっていた憎悪はドロドロ溶け出して
atashi no bikou ni tsumatteita zouo wa dorodoro tokedashite
the hatred stuffed in my nostrils drips out
私の喉に詰まっていた呪文は止めどなく溢れ出る
atashi no nodo ni tsumatteita jumon wa tomedonaku afurederu
the curses stuffed in my throat spill out unrelentingly
現実空間なんかよりも
genjitsu kuukan nanka yori mo
much more than present time and space,
遥かにクリアーな世界
haruka ni CLEAR na sekai
a far clearer world
遥かにシンプルな世界
haruka ni SIMPLE na sekai
a far simpler world
遥かにヴィヴィッドな世界
haruka ni VIVID na sekai
a far more vivid world
そして遥かに懐かしい世界
soshite haruka ni natsukashii sekai
and a far more familiar world
今まで抽象的にしか語れなかったのは
ima made chuushouteki ni shika katarenakatta no wa
what I until now could only describe in abstract terms was
人間の貧困な想像力による怠慢ではなかった！
ningen no binkon na souzouryoku ni yoru taiman de wa nakatta!
the negligence spawned by humans' weak imaginations!