Title: Panty Mail
Author: kingbaka22
Rating: PG-13
Universe: Canon
Word Count: 348
Warnings: none
Inuyasha stared curiously at the manila envelope in his hand. The small, soft lump inside the enveloped smelled like Kagome, but spicier and stronger. It was the scent he had come to associate her more intimate areas, and with those strange modern undergarments she wore.
He blushed slightly but his frown only deepened. What the hell was a pair of Kagome’s panties doing in an envelope? As far as he knew, humans used these to send letters and objects to other people. So then, who on earth was she sending her panties to?
“EEEP!” Spinning at the sudden noise, Inuyasha spotted Kagome in the doorway, her hands covering her flushed face as she stared at the envelope in his hand. Her reaction only stoked the rising flames of his jealous fury.
“Kagome, what’s this?” he asked, voice deadly calm.
“Um…an envelope?”
“No, I mean why the hell is your underwear inside it?!”
“SHHH!!!” she ordered, closing the bedroom door behind her. “Inuyasha, do you realize how much my mom has to spend on supplies for us every month? She’s not rich, you know! I wanted to help out, but I can’t work here, so selling my panties is the only way I can make some money. Guys just sniff them a little,” she soothed. “Nobody will know they’re mine…”
“Forget it.”
“Inuyasha, be reasonable-”
“No way! You’re not doing it, and that’s final!”
“Osuwari!” *thud* “I’m not gonna let you boss me around on this! You-”
“Fine! See if I care,” he growled, recovering from the spell and vaulting out the window.
He returned late that evening to find Kagome asleep at her desk. After gently placing her in her bed, he snatched the cursed envelope and opened it. Next he removed Kagome’s panties and inserted his special substitute before closing the envelope once more. He had spent the entire afternoon making his fundoshi as sweaty and gross as possible, and now a small piece of it would make one sick pervert a very dissatisfied customer.
As for Kagome’s panties, he would hold onto them…for safekeeping.
A/N - this fic was inspired by one I read awhile back where Inuyasha gets all panicked that Kagome is going to sell her panties in those creepy Japanese vending machines. Don’t know who wrote it, but I figured I should credit the author. I don’t think a panty mail service actually exists, though.