:(
I hate fighting with people. Confrontation in general is something that I try to avoid. It's not that I just nod along with everyone, and not express my thoughts and opinions but sometimes it's just easier not to take the fight. Especially when you know it will be a lost cause in the end.
So I hadn't exactly told my mom about the fact that I'd be gone for almost a week to the UK and go to lots of Panic shows, since I knew she wouldn't like it. Up until today she hadn't asked when I was leaving, but today she went there. I couldn't lie. Truth came out, and she got so pissed off. She started ignoring me (guess where I got my thing about not confronting people) but I was not gonna have it like that. So I asked her why she was mad about it. Then she started going on and on about money, and how could I possibly afford it, and how unnecassary it is to go see the same concert over and over again. Just to start over again with the money issue.
She's known me for almost 24 years, and as I asked her, has she ever known me to buy or do something that I haven't had money for? No. So I really don't get why she should get so angry and stuck on that fact. Besides, it's my money, I choose what to do with it.
Then I tackled the part of it being useless to see the same band. It's now the same thing over and over. Not the same experience. And if this makes me happy, why can't she just let me enjoy it? Let me be happy, and get experiences that I'll keep for a lifetime. I told her all of this, and she was still all distant and didn't want to back off an inch on how wrong she thought this was. Let's just say it was a bit stilted for the rest of the daybetween us.
I'm not really mad anymore. Mostly disappointed that she doesn't trust me enough to make good decisions regarding my economy, and for her not to accept the fact that we enjoy different things in life, and therefore have different priorities.
Now when I've ranted a bit, I'll get to the part with self-development. Just the fact that I actually took the discussion with her, is for me a big step forward. A few years ago I would've just shut myself into a shell as well, and not bothered with talking at all. And then I would've just let is bottle up and I'd gone crazy after a while. That's how we did in my fmaily growing up. Sharing feelings = bad. So, it has made me so grateful that I've become friends with people who have thought me that it's okay to talk. It's okay to let others know that you're angry, sad, or hurt.
Anyway, now I'm gonna go put on soem make-up and nice clothes. Soem friends from school are coming over, and I'm gonna get a bit drunk. Will be a great ending for this day.