Something odd...
Something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue: When Inverloch was good, when Inverloch was bad, all of Inverloch characters' personalities, and Lei'ella's apparent new hair color.
Something that popped into my head:
WFLE: How to Use Your Wand
Sex Ed in the wizarding world.
Harry Potter, Humor/Parody, Rated Pg-13
"Sit down students," Professor McGonagall said, writing 'WFLE; Wizarding Family Life Education' on the chalkboard, and turning to see the students shuffle awkwardly to their seats. "I trust you all know what this class is about?"
Normally, Hermione would have done something generally obnoxious at this moment, such as raising her hand with a smirk and looking around as if to say, "I can't believe no one else knows!" or just saying "I know, Professor," pompously enough to make all of Gryffindor jump her, no matter how many points her brain got them. However, Hermione was busily staring at the closed textbook in front of her, a stricken expression of her face. Ron was laughing at her.
Harry glanced around. Many of the students were generally following Hermione's example, though some were whispering to each other and snickering. In another corner of the room, he saw Draco lean back and say something in a low voice to his group of flunkies with a suggestive eyebrow quirk. They all laughed like the little pansies they were (meaning no pun on Pansy Parkinson).
He groaned, leaning his chin forward on his hands. He did NOT want to learn about the "miracle of reproduction" from his aged and possibly sexless professor. He did not want to listen to McGonagall attack the subject of sexual attraction in the same dry voice she used to explain transforming a badger into a rabbit. He did not want to be sitting in front of Lavender and Parvati and hear them giggle and whisper to each other every two seconds, lifting their heads to look at all the boys as McGonagall went on. He did not want to learning about sex at age 17.
"Well?" said McGonagall, looking over the students as the lioness observes her prey.
Harry looked around, then raised his hand timidly. "Um.." he said awkwardly, as he heard the wash of giggles behind him and the condescending chuckles of Malfoy's group, "this is... uh...sex ed..." A fresh wave of giggles swept over the room.
"Indeed, Potter," McGonagall said, unperturbed. She swept on to choose new prey. Harry elbowed Ron viciously as his lanky friend tried to stop laughing.
"Malfoy!" Professor McGonagall called sharply, moving to the other side of the room. The blonde boy hastily straightened in his seat and stopped chuckling. "Since you seem to find the class so amusing, you could perhaps enlighten us as to the reason we are learning this?"
Malfoy flushed so hard he looked like some kind of vegetable, topped with ranch dressing the color of his pale hair. "We... need to know.. body functions?" he mumbled, obviously holding in snickers.
McGonagall looked at him sharply for a few seconds, as he fidgeted under her glare. She turned around abruptly, her robes twirling behind her. "That is correct, Malfoy."
"Professor?" Ron asked, raising his hand awkwardly. She looked at him expectantly. ("Oh, god," Hermione moaned, burying her face into her arms on the table.) "Er... why are we learning this in 6th year? And... uh.. in mixed classes?"
"You would be learning about female body processes either way, Weasley," McGonagall said, oblivious to the remarkable change in color of Ron's ears. "And vice versa for the girls. Professor Dumbledore thought we might as well save a classroom and teach everyone at once."
A Hufflepuff girl in the back noticed Ron's ears and pointed them out to her friends, giggling.
"Shall we begin, then?" McGonagall asked, picking up her pointer. She turned to the chalkboard and began drawing. "The process of reproduction begins with the male sperm cells..."
Malfoy smirked, Hermioned groaned, Ron flushed, and Harry knew it was judgement day.
Something that popped into my head:
WFLE: How to Use Your Wand
Sex Ed in the wizarding world.
Harry Potter, Humor/Parody, Rated Pg-13
"Sit down students," Professor McGonagall said, writing 'WFLE; Wizarding Family Life Education' on the chalkboard, and turning to see the students shuffle awkwardly to their seats. "I trust you all know what this class is about?"
Normally, Hermione would have done something generally obnoxious at this moment, such as raising her hand with a smirk and looking around as if to say, "I can't believe no one else knows!" or just saying "I know, Professor," pompously enough to make all of Gryffindor jump her, no matter how many points her brain got them. However, Hermione was busily staring at the closed textbook in front of her, a stricken expression of her face. Ron was laughing at her.
Harry glanced around. Many of the students were generally following Hermione's example, though some were whispering to each other and snickering. In another corner of the room, he saw Draco lean back and say something in a low voice to his group of flunkies with a suggestive eyebrow quirk. They all laughed like the little pansies they were (meaning no pun on Pansy Parkinson).
He groaned, leaning his chin forward on his hands. He did NOT want to learn about the "miracle of reproduction" from his aged and possibly sexless professor. He did not want to listen to McGonagall attack the subject of sexual attraction in the same dry voice she used to explain transforming a badger into a rabbit. He did not want to be sitting in front of Lavender and Parvati and hear them giggle and whisper to each other every two seconds, lifting their heads to look at all the boys as McGonagall went on. He did not want to learning about sex at age 17.
"Well?" said McGonagall, looking over the students as the lioness observes her prey.
Harry looked around, then raised his hand timidly. "Um.." he said awkwardly, as he heard the wash of giggles behind him and the condescending chuckles of Malfoy's group, "this is... uh...sex ed..." A fresh wave of giggles swept over the room.
"Indeed, Potter," McGonagall said, unperturbed. She swept on to choose new prey. Harry elbowed Ron viciously as his lanky friend tried to stop laughing.
"Malfoy!" Professor McGonagall called sharply, moving to the other side of the room. The blonde boy hastily straightened in his seat and stopped chuckling. "Since you seem to find the class so amusing, you could perhaps enlighten us as to the reason we are learning this?"
Malfoy flushed so hard he looked like some kind of vegetable, topped with ranch dressing the color of his pale hair. "We... need to know.. body functions?" he mumbled, obviously holding in snickers.
McGonagall looked at him sharply for a few seconds, as he fidgeted under her glare. She turned around abruptly, her robes twirling behind her. "That is correct, Malfoy."
"Professor?" Ron asked, raising his hand awkwardly. She looked at him expectantly. ("Oh, god," Hermione moaned, burying her face into her arms on the table.) "Er... why are we learning this in 6th year? And... uh.. in mixed classes?"
"You would be learning about female body processes either way, Weasley," McGonagall said, oblivious to the remarkable change in color of Ron's ears. "And vice versa for the girls. Professor Dumbledore thought we might as well save a classroom and teach everyone at once."
A Hufflepuff girl in the back noticed Ron's ears and pointed them out to her friends, giggling.
"Shall we begin, then?" McGonagall asked, picking up her pointer. She turned to the chalkboard and began drawing. "The process of reproduction begins with the male sperm cells..."
Malfoy smirked, Hermioned groaned, Ron flushed, and Harry knew it was judgement day.