i think a lot of my guilt comes from lack of control of the world around me

... or perceived lack .... or perceived control for that matter

... tho technically everythings perceived

accept who i am ... then i can change

i don't know how to reconcile the feeling that my job somehow owns a piece of my life ( Read more... )

This morning i was woken up with coffee in bed :)

i love my cutie!!!!

how can depression have such a complete hold over me
while at the same time is supposedly entirely within my control?

is control in either sense even real?

i have so many incomplete thoughts
that my head is full and can't complete any of them

or is it just me and there is no such thing as complete and incomplete

why do we hold back so much?

magnetic flow:

deep long kiss
within in a dream of dark green blood
hiding in red shadows

dizzy, pulled
stumbling through thought
to touch
on a different plane
of reality

flow of blue desire
waves crash
against ~ within
flooding the mirrors
refracted light
the red color
of blue water,
still,
reaches
my eyes

i feel like i'm in a free fall

and i'm waiting for the ground to come up and meet me

yet i wonder if it won't and i will learn to fly

so .. i need some distraction ... and hugs

i'll go into the details later but for now ... send me any funny or cute links ya got

and or hugs

hi internets! *waves ( Read more... )