the end of the world

[intorolude]

the end of the world
gen, slight jongkey
8416 words
Nothing is going to be okay.
apocalypse!au. sorry for any fail in terms of environmental stuff ;_;



the end of the world

we'll stay forever this way
you are safe in my heart and
my heart will go on and on
- my heart will go on (celine dion)

One moment Jonghyun is ordering a hamburger while flirting with the cute-looking cashier, and the next moment she is gone, disappearing into the gaping hole where the counter had once been.

There is no time to stand and stare, there is no time to fall to his knees and scream. But then again, time seems to have stopped; Jonghyun can only tremble with his eyes wide and mouth open in a silent yell, and then someone is grabbing onto him, fingernails cutting into the soft skin on his wrist, and he is tugged away.

"God," Jonghyun manages, voice shaky and soft, a whisper, a prayer. He reaches out to grip onto the stranger's slightly torn shirt, and even as he squeezes his eyes shut, the image of her falling down and away from him is still replaying over and over again. "Fuck."

"We have to go," a voice is saying, and Jonghyun shakes his head, fingers trembling and his teeth clenched so tight his head hurts. "We need to go, right now."

The stranger's grip is cool around his wrist, and Jonghyun just lets himself be led away, stumbling and nearly tripping over rubble and piles of God knows what - he's too afraid to open his eyes, too afraid of what he will see. The ground has stopped quivering, but he is still ridiculously dizzy, and vomit is creeping up in his throat.

"Are you guys okay?" Someone is saying, and then there is something cold pressed against his forehead, so cold Jonghyun shivers and feels the goosebumps pop up along his neck. He opens his eyes slowly, then meets the gaze of the boy from just now. His hair has streaks of yellow and blue, and Jonghyun doesn't even know why he's noticing all sorts of ridiculous details right now.

"I think he's in shock," the boy is saying, and then another stranger moves into Jonghyun's line of vision. "Is this place safe?"

This new boy is taller, his hair curling at the nape of his neck. His touch is cool even through the fabric of Jonghyun's shirt, and he offers Jonghyun a slightly weak but still reassuring smile. "Temporarily, I guess," he answers. "It's all we have right now."

Jonghyun is trying to find his voice. His throat feels raw and scratched, and when he tries to talk, all that comes out is a strange noise. "It's okay, don't force yourself," the taller boy is saying, patting his shoulder, but tears are blinding Jonghyun's vision and he shakes his head, fingers trembling as he brushes his hair out of his eyes.

"Everything's going to be okay," the boy is saying over and over again, voice soothing, eyes worried.

The first boy looks solemn, and then he says, "Don't lie to him, Minho." He turns towards Jonghyun, eyes bright. "Nothing's going to be okay," he tells Jonghyun. "But this is all we have left."

This is what they have all been talking about for years, Jonghyun suddenly realizes. This is the end of the world. Or at least the end of his world - his family is gone, his friends are gone; all the people he loved and cared and lived for are gone, there is nothing for him left. All he has are these two strange boys.

This is all we have left. There is a strange ringing in his ears, and when Jonghyun looks down at his hand, he sees his change sitting on his palm. The warmth from the coins are all that's left of her now. Nothing is going to be okay.

Jonghyun doesn't talk. There are too many questions filling up his mind, until everything is so clogged up he cannot manage to fit words to his unspoken thoughts. So he just sits in a corner and stares without seeing, watches as the two strange boys talk somewhere further away. They are probably talking about him, Jonghyun decides, judging by the way their gazes flit to him every once in a while, then dart away again. But honestly, he doesn't really care, which is odd - throughout his school life, he's always been overly concerned about what people have been saying behind his back, about the way people look at him. But then again, things are different now.

It's probably only been an hour or two since Jonghyun has got here, since the earth had spun in a strange, giddy way and opened up and swallowed everything in his sight. It feels like days, though, and as Jonghyun tilts his head upwards to stare at the roof, searching for a crack so he can look up and see the sky to tell if this is morning or afternoon or night, or if time has stopped altogether, he thinks this is fitting, in a way. Don't most people wish for as much time to live as possible?

When he glances back at his slightly shaking hands, they've gone back to their normal color, but he thinks if he stares hard enough, he can still see the marks her hands had left. His heart feels like a weight, his lungs feel like they've shrank, and the throbbing in his head is almost rhythmic. He wonders if he's going to die, and he wonders if it's going to be soon.

He plants his hands, palms downwards, on the ground. A few seconds later, there is a ticklish sensation, and when he looks back down, an ant is scuttling across his hand. Jonghyun lifts his hand up, stares as the ant makes its way round and round the back of his hand. He has the urge to swat it away or maybe squash it (it might actually be happier if it was dead), but in the end he lets his hand drop back to the ground, lets the ant go back to where it came from.

"Dinner," the boy with the streaks in his hair is saying. His eyes are dark and unreadable, and he hands Jonghyun a plate with two slices of pizza on it. Jonghyun gives him a questioning look, and the boy sighs.

"Minho and I just thought cold pizza would taste better than uncooked ramyun," the strange boy says. "Take it or leave it."

When Jonghyun doesn't move or respond, the boy rolls his eyes, then bends down to set the plate on the ground next to Jonghyun. "If you don't eat it, at least tell me beforehand," he snaps. "Don't waste food when we barely have anything left."

Then he is off, spinning on his heels and disappearing somewhere again. The pizza is Hawaiian-flavored, one of Jonghyun's least favorites, but like what the boy had said, any form of pizza was better than uncooked ramyun. Jonghyun blinks, sucks in a breath, then closes his fingers around the cool plate.

Later on, when he is halfway through his first slice of pizza, he thinks about the way the building had collapsed around him, how the ground had opened up and swallowed everything in his line of sight, and he gags a little, setting the plate back on the ground and clamping a hand over his mouth.

He half-expects the streaked-hair boy to be back again, mouth drawn and eyes flashing, demanding to know why he's acting like such a failure, but when a shadow falls over him and he looks up, the other boy is standing there.

"It's okay," the boy says kindly, sitting down on the floor in front of Jonghyun. "If you don't want to eat it anymore, you don't have to. Don't mind Kibum."

Jonghyun tries to smile a little. "I'm sorry," he says, and his voice sounds all raw and unpolished, like it doesn't belong to him. He wonders if he can still sing. "I just. I don't really feel like eating right now."

"Alright," the boy says agreeably. "I'm Minho, by the way, and that was Kibum. We're both 91-ers."

"Jonghyun," Jonghyun says. "I'm a year older." It surprises him how easy it is to talk to Minho, whereas his voice just disappears whenever he sees Kibum.

Minho smiles. "I'll just call you hyung, then," he says. "We're going to be seeing a lot of each other from now on, don't you think?"

Jonghyun nods. This certainly isn't the time to think about things like respect and formalities; besides, he's quite sure he could learn to be friends with this calm, easygoing boy. Kibum, though, he's not sure about.

"I'll leave this here," Minho says, pointing towards the pizza. "You can still eat if you're hungry later. Sorry about it being cold, though." He gives one last smile, then stands up and heads back to where Kibum is sitting.

Just the mere presence of Minho has made Jonghyun feel better already. He picks up the slice of pizza again, thinking that when things hit rock-bottom, the only way they can go is upwards.

This time when it is breakfast, Jonghyun picks up the plate Kibum gives to him and trails after him, going over to sit with the two. Minho smiles, Kibum just raises his eyebrows and eats his pizza.

He'd barely managed to sleep for more than half an hour; the air was unexpectedly cool, even though it was summer. And then there were the thoughts crowding along his mind, squeezing through the cracks of his defenses, wearing him down until he didn't even have the energy left to fall asleep.

"Pizza again," Jonghyun says. It's a statement, not a question, and Minho throws him an apologetic look.

"Like I said," Kibum answers. "Take it or leave it."

Jonghyun shrugs, takes the first bite of his slice. It's not as bad as expected, even though it's the second time in a row he's eating cold, Hawaiian-flavored pizza. He's getting a little sick of non-Korean food already, though, and he wonders how he can bring this up without getting hit by Kibum's lash-outs.

"Is there," Jonghyun tries carefully. "Is there, like, a way to get more food?"

Kibum gives him a look, then softens slightly. "Yeah," he says finally. "Minho and I are going to the supermarket later."

Jonghyun nods, taking another bite. "Oh," he says. "But, you know, wouldn't it be closed?"

"We're breaking in," Minho explains, dusting his hands off once he's done with his food. "There's no other way."

Kibum finishes his last slice as well, and he turns to Minho. "Let's leave ten minutes later," he says. "Get it over and done with."

Minho sets his plate aside. "Kibum?" He says. "I have a headache, so is it okay if you bring Jonghyun-hyung along? I'm not really up for it."

Kibum huffs, crossing his arms. "Choi Minho," he snaps. "Must you do this to me?"

"Hey," Jonghyun cuts in, a little miffed. "I'm not that bad, you know."

Kibum just laughs.

Ten minutes later, Kibum is out of the door and walking at the speed of light. Jonghyun knows Kibum is determined to shake him off, which just makes him even more determined to stick close to him. They arrive at the supermarket in five minutes, when Minho had predicted fifteen.

Kibum snorts when Jonghyun steps forwards and backwards in a futile effort to make the automated doors open for him, and Jonghyun gives him a look that says why don't you try and open this damn thing, then. Kibum is starting to smile, which makes Jonghyun want to smile too, which is ridiculous because the world is ending and they're attempting to break into a supermarket to get food essential for their survival, and there are more important things to do than grin like an idiot.

Kibum pulls his hand back, and a second later there is something zooming towards the glass doors and then a loud, satisfactory sound of glass smashing. The alarm starts ringing, and Jonghyun winces, glancing around even though there is nobody to stop and arrest them.

"Come on," Kibum says. "We don't have all the time in the world." His rock has only created a small hole large enough for half of a body to go through, the rest of the door criss-crossed in spiderweb-like lines. Jonghyun bends down, grabs another rock, then hurls it, narrowly missing Kibum's leg. The door shatters once more, this time creating a hole large enough for them to pass through.

Kibum narrows his eyes. "I'd yell at you for attempting to break my leg, but since you managed to do something useful for once, I'll forgive you."

Jonghyun snorts. Kibum clambers through the hole, nicking his shirt a little on the way, then starts walking through the supermarket without even turning around for Jonghyun. Jonghyun hurriedly climbs in, trying his best to avoid the sharp edges of the glass, then speed-walks to catch up with Kibum once he gets in.

"Take canned food," Kibum instructs, not looking at Jonghyun. "I'll go and get water. Stay at the canned food section when you're done, I'll meet you back there later."

Kibum is off before Jonghyun can even agree, so he just shrugs and heads for the canned food section. He grabs things randomly off the shelves, setting them on the ground next to him. When he's surrounded by tin cans and his arms are starting to ache, he plants his hands on his hips with a sigh.

"Baskets," Jonghyun says out loud, then grins because he's finally thought of something before Kibum has. He leaves the cans sitting on the floor, wandering around until he sees the stack of baskets. Whoever had last stacked those baskets must have been an idiot, Jonghyun thinks, because he'd stupidly stacked them so high even Jonghyun couldn't reach the top. He sighs, rolls his sleeves up, then jumps, only to lose his balance and crash right into the entire stack.

And then someone is there, tugging him out of the way, and everything just feels so very familiar. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Kibum is hissing, his hair in a mess, eyes wide and panicky. "Are you trying to get yourself killed, or what? After all the effort I spent trying to save you that very first time, bringing you along so you could get food and shelter and... fuck. Just, fuck."

Jonghyun opens his mouth to say something, to apologize or maybe defend himself, but nothing comes out. Kibum has buried his face in his hands, and Jonghyun startles when he spots something shimmering down Kibum's face through the cracks between his fingers.

"God," Jonghyun says, a hand grabbing at Kibum's shoulder, another tugging Kibum's hands off his face. "Are you okay? Did I scare you? Fuck, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

Kibum has never looked so tiny, his eyes all red and his nose runny and his entire body trembling. He's always acted like he's mature and all-knowing, and this is the first time Jonghyun registers that this boy with the sharp tongue and streaked hair is younger than him. So Jonghyun reaches out and gives him an awkward hug, wishing with all his heart that Minho was right and everything will be okay.

For once, there are stars in the Seoul night sky. For once, there are no loud sirens or car horns, just an odd yet comfortable silence. Jonghyun shudders slightly as a cool breeze brushes past them - the temperature has started dropping the past few days, way too cold to be normal.

Someone sits down beside him, effectively cutting off his train of thought. "Did something happen?" Minho wants to know. Kibum had come back sniffling with red-rimmed eyes, while Jonghyun trailed behind him wringing his hands guiltily.

Jonghyun dodges Minho's probing gaze, glancing away. "I gave him a scare," he admits. "But I didn't expect he'd overreact to that extent."

"Kibum." Minho says. "Kibum's had a hard life. He watched his grandmother die in front of him so what you did today..."

Jonghyun stares. "He - wait, what?" And then he thinks of Kibum, with his biting words and slightly annoying ways. Kibum, with his wide eyes and panicked stare. Kibum, with his blotchy face and tear-streaked cheeks. "God, I had no idea." His heart feels all constricted, and guilty isn't even an appropriate word to describe how he is feeling right now.

"Now you know," Minho says. He pats Jonghyun's shoulder a little. "Don't think too much, he'll be fine tomorrow."

"I feel terrible," Jonghyun says, morose and a lot more contrite. "How am I supposed to face him now?"

Minho raises an eyebrow. "I told you so you wouldn't do stupider things in the future," he explains. "Not to make you feel bad. By the way, you probably shouldn't bring this up with Kibum. Just pretend you don't know anything."

It's hard to pretend when Jonghyun feels like banging his head against the wall and just dying, but he agrees, anyway. "Thanks," he adds as an afterthought, and Minho's smile is brighter than the stars above.

It's a week before anything major happens - Kibum is back to normal, and Jonghyun is more careful around him, less careless with his words. Jonghyun is sitting outside watching the sun disappear when two silhouettes appear in the distance, and he promptly jumps up and runs inside to drag Kibum and Minho out.

They are holding hands. Jonghyun isn't quite sure if the older boy is holding onto the younger boy's hand to protect him, or if the younger boy is holding onto the older boy's hand to keep him from stumbling. He supposes it's both ways, since the younger boy has a slightly panicked look on his face, while the older one is tripping every five steps.

"I'm Jinki," the older one says, waving his hand awkwardly. His smile is still bright, though, and Jonghyun finds himself smiling back. "This is Taemin."

No question are asked - Jinki and Taemin join them, and they form a little band of five. Jinki is more than a little clumsy but eager to learn, and Taemin is sweet and sweet and just... sweet. Kibum takes to Taemin immediately, always giving him extra food because he needs to grow, he's still young. This happens during every meal, and Jonghyun wordlessly stabs at his rice because Kibum is ridiculously biased against him, and he sometimes wonders what it is that Taemin has that makes Kibum fawn over him like that.

It's been approximately a month since Jinki and Taemin arrived. It's just an estimate, though, since nobody can be sure about what date it is today. It's not like they can guess from the weather too, since it snows one day and becomes desert-esque hot the next.

"It's Imagination Night," Kibum announces, and Jonghyun sits up a little straighter, grins. Kibum had invented Imagination Night, where the five of them sat together and dreamed up the impossible, waxed lyrical about another world.

"I'll start," Minho volunteers. The rest of them nod, already used to Minho's slightly competitive streak. The winner of Imagination Night - voted by all five of them - got the most comfortable bed, and Kibum had been winning since the start of all time.

"Um," Minho says. "The five of us are dads."

Jinki blinks. Taemin continues nodding, a smile tugging at his lips. "Dads," Kibum repeats. "Okay."

Minho continues, unfazed. "The thing is, we're all dads of the same son."

"You mean we all have the same wife?" Jinki asks, confused.

"But no, that wouldn't work," Jonghyun says thoughtfully, trying to work Minho's universe out. "How could we possibly have the same son? Unless it's a stepson?"

Kibum shushes the rest of them, even though he'd been the one who'd started interrupting in the first place. "His name is Jung Yoogeun," Minho says. "He's four. He's bratty and refuses to say sorry even though it's his fault, and his favorite appa is Kibum-appa and sometimes Jonghyun and Minho-appa."

Jonghyun squints at Minho, trying to imagine the five of them running around after a little boy. "Wait," Jonghyun says. "You haven't explained how we could have the same son."

Minho stares at him as if Jonghyun is the stupidest person on earth, which actually could be highly plausible, since there might not be anyone else left except the five of them. "He's adopted," Minho says matter-of-factly, and Jonghyun flushes.

"What about me and Jinki-hyung?" Taemin whines. "Why aren't we in it?"

"You are!" Minho says, exasperated. "I said all five of us were raising him together!"

Taemin purses his lips. "But we're not his favorite dads! That's unfair!"

"Minho, you have to provide a suitable explanation," Kibum points out, starting to smile. "All contestants for Imagination Night are required to explain until the audience is satisfied."

The only contestants are them. The only audience is them, as well. Kibum is being his usual ridiculous self, but they are all too caught up in the game to care. "Uh," Minho says. "You're a little too immature, Taemin, to be a good appa. Since you're young and all. And Jinki-hyung is a little afraid of children, so he can't get close to Yoogeun."

"Young and adorable," Kibum inserts, and Taemin stops frowning.

They round off Imagination Night by Kibum winning yet again, with his story about them forming a boyband called SHINee. "All hail the Almighty Key," Kibum says, smiling so obnoxiously even Taemin rolls his eyes.

"Everyone gets cool names except me," Taemin gripes. "Maknae Taemin? What kind of name is that? Boybands are supposed to have fabulously gay nicknames."

"Bling Bling Jonghyun," Jonghyun says, grinning because for once Kibum is nice to him and gives him such an epitome-of-cool nickname.

Jinki pats Taemin's back comfortingly. "It's okay, Leader Onew isn't that cool either."

"But at least you get Onew," Taemin says. "And you're the leader. I'm still Taemin."

Minho's eyebrows are furrowed in concentration. "Well," he offers. "Onew sounds kind of like a brand of fried chicken."

Jonghyun starts laughing, but Jinki is brightening visibly. "I love fried chicken!" He says, clearly excited, and Kibum hurriedly changes the topic.

Later that night, Jonghyun dreams of himself performing onstage, with the other four by his side. Oddly, everything feels comfortable and real, like he's done it all before. When Jonghyun wakes up, he thinks of alternate realities and other universes and wonders if somewhere out there, there is another Kim Jonghyun who is the lead singer of a group called SHINee, who sings with electricity threading through his veins and grows up amongst applause and love.

It's been raining for maybe more than a week, and the dark clouds show no sign of wanting to clear. Jonghyun is bored and cranky and eager to go outdoors again to breathe in the fresh air, but Kibum tells him it'd just prove how stupid he was, since it was probably flooding outside and Jonghyun would just get sucked into a whirlpool or something. So Jonghyun stays indoors, listens to the tap tap tap of the rain against their tiny house and wonders how long it will take for them to drown inside here.

"Do you think it will ever stop?" Taemin wants to know, turning to Minho, who almost always has all the answers. Minho shrugs. Taemin's mouth tilts downwards.

Jonghyun taps his fingers against the floor. "I want to go outside," he says.

"I want to play soccer," Minho says a little miserably.

"I want to dance in the rain," contributes Taemin.

Silence ensues. Kibum breaks it by sighing long and loud, leaning against a wall and sliding his eyes shut.

"God, this sucks," Jinki says unexpectedly. Jonghyun startles, turning towards the oldest of the group with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth. Jinki never gets angry, never throws tantrums, but right now he is tugging at his hair in frustration and gnawing at his lower lip.

Kibum looks at him, understanding creasing in the corners of his eyes, and he places a hand on Jinki's shoulder, who noticeably stiffens. Silence hangs over the five of them for a long while, until Jinki relaxes again, crumpling into himself.

It's been a long time since Jonghyun has considered the fact that they are all going to die. Going about day by day with Kibum and Jinki and Taemin and Minho, it was almost as if this was normal life, like they'd been best friends all along, not tied together by an apocalypse. Today he watches Jinki - cheerful, bright, optimistic Jinki - lose faith in the world, in themselves, and he thinks, I want this to be all over.

"You guys," Kibum says. "Our food store is depleting."

Jonghyun glances towards the corner of their house where towers of canned food had once resided in. There are only less than forty cans left, huddled together pitifully. This is it, they are all going to die by starvation of all things. They'd go mad and attempt to eat each other until they got into a gigantic fight and killed each other off anyway. Was this how dinosaurs felt, way back during pre-historic times? Like they already knew what their future would be like, but couldn't do anything about it?

"Fuck," Jonghyun says. He hadn't meant it to be so loud, but the room is so silent his voice just echoes inside their house, ringing vulgarly in their ears. For the first time, Kibum doesn't tell him to stop cursing in front of Taemin ("Or he'll grow up into some kind of gangster punk, oh God") - he just sighs yet again and stares at a spot on the floor with empty, unseeing eyes.

They are all grumpy and snap at each other over the tiniest things, like Minho accidentally hitting Kibum's face when trying to swat a mosquito away or Taemin stepping on Jonghyun's foot or the lack of chicken. "Look, I can't magically make KFC appear here or something," Kibum tells Jinki. His voice is thin, exasperated, tired, worn-out, and Jonghyun can still remember a Kibum from another past, one with bright eyes and sharp words and warm smiles. This Kibum feels like a doppelganger, and Jonghyun sort of wants to shake him and demand for the old Kibum back again. He'd rather Kibum screech at him over wasting food or something - anything - than see Kibum act like this, talk like this, be like this.

Jonghyun drops a baked bean on the ground, just to see what Kibum will do. Kibum glances down at it, then back at Jonghyun again, silent. This will have to take some getting used to, except Jonghyun doesn't want to get used to this. If the rest of them give up just like this, what will he do?

"Let's play Imagination Night," Jonghyun says brightly, hoping they will at least show some reaction.

Taemin doesn't disappoint. He looks up at Jonghyun, but there is no life to his voice or spark in his eyes. "We are living in a world that is not ending," Taemin says flatly. "Happy now?"

"We are not stuck in a rotting, cramped house because of a never-ending rainstorm." A pause, then Minho adds, "For more than a month now."

"We are happy," Kibum is saying, and they all turn towards him like flowers attracted to the sun. He is pale, and his cheekbones are scarily sharp. His wrist looks like it would snap into half if anyone sat on it. "We are the happiest people on earth."

Technically, they are the happiest people on earth. They're also the saddest people, though, since they're the only people on earth. If Jonghyun closes his eyes, he can pretend that the tapping of the rain is just a knock on the door, that everything is perfectly alright.

"Time to wake up," comes Kibum's voice, hazy and so very far away. Jonghyun opens his eyes to see Kibum towering over him, hands planted on his hips. Then Jinki swims into his vision, smiling so bright Jonghyun is nearly blinded.

"The rain's stopped," Jinki says, and Jonghyun sits up immediately.

Taemin and Minho are already outside, holding hands as they splash into puddles and giggle like five-year-olds. The sky is the kind of blue that reminds Jonghyun of fairytales and happy endings, and he gets up. His legs are numb, and he stumbles a little, but then he's outside inhaling the scent of fresh air and watching the sun's rays dance across his pale skin. It's been so long.

Kibum and Jinki step outside with him, and together, they navigate through the mud and water to catch up to Taemin and Minho, who have stopped to point at random things that never seemed to matter back when Jonghyun got to see them everyday - trees and flowers and grass that still look beautiful even when they're dead from too much rainfall.

"Let's build an ark," Taemin calls, turning around to grin at them. His smile is brighter than the sunshine shimmering against the surface of the water, and Jonghyun laughs.

"We'll call it the SHINee ark," Kibum adds, and Jonghyun turns to look at him. He is still pretty, but now in a less blunt, more fragile way that makes Jonghyun kind of want to stay by his side forever and keep him safe and protect him from the world's horrors. Kibum catches his gaze and smiles, and Jonghyun takes back what he'd said about Taemin's smile before because Kibum's has got to be the most gorgeous thing in the world.

They spend the entire day outside, only going back when the last of the sun's rays disappear. Taemin had wanted to camp outside under the stars, but Kibum had rejected his idea, saying that any wild animal could simply wander past and gore them all.

"We'll go the supermarket tomorrow," Kibum says. "Jinki-hyung, I'll try my best to get chicken."

They all laugh at Jinki's hopeful nod. Who knew sunshine was so important?

"I wish we had air-con," Taemin says pitifully. "Or at least a fan."

Now that the rain has stopped, the weather is too hot to stand. Kibum warns them about staying outside for too long or they'll get skin cancer and you don't see a doctor around here, do you? Jonghyun had ignored him and went out once, then came back with his skin red and painfully raw, while Kibum pointedly gave him an I told you so look.

So they're stuck in their tiny, dilapidated house yet again, this time hiding from the sun. "Fuck global warming," Jonghyun says, miserable.

"Should have used less plastic bags," Kibum mumbles. Sweat glistens on his face, and he looks like he's just bathed.

They're all sitting in nothing but their boxers - Minho's idea. He had peeled off his shirt first, then took off his pants, while they just sat there and stared, wondering if the heat had gotten into his brain already. "I don't know about you guys," Minho had said conversationally. "But I'm not ready to melt into a puddle yet."

"Urgh," Jinki moans, grabbing a piece of cardboard and fanning himself vigorously with it. "I think I'd take the rain over this."

"Seriously?" Jonghyun says. "But that was so... dreary."

"Dreary?" wonders Jinki.

Taemin wipes off the sweat that's beading at his nostrils. "But this just makes me want to kill myself," he points out. "We're being grilled like chicken or something."

"Chicken," Jinki repeats, but it's half-hearted.

"We're going to start going crazy soon," Kibum says morosely. "Like those people in the deserts who start imagining they see an oasis or something but there's nothing."

"Nothing," Jinki says, peering sadly at the floor.

Jonghyun sighs, shutting his eyes and lying down. "Personally, I think I'd eat Jinki-hyung if we had no food left."

"No food left," Jinki echoes, then startles when he realizes what Jonghyun just said. "Wait, what. Why?"

"Minho's too muscle-y," Jonghyun explains. "Kibum's too skinny. Taemin is practically a bag of bones. So you're the only normal candidate left, hyung."

Taemin flashes a grin, looking oddly predatory for a boy as sweet-looking as he is. "We can share, Jonghyun-hyung," he offers. "I want thigh meat."

Kibum joins the game, prodding at Jinki's arms. "Arm for me," he announces. "Or should it be wing?"

"I like breast meat," Jonghyun says, then rakes his gaze over Jinki's half-naked body. Jinki's face is red, because of both the topic and the heat. "But you have no moobs, hyung."

Jinki slides a finger against the floor. It squeaks. "I'm not a chicken," he says indignantly.

Taemin widens his eyes innocently. "But chickens are your idols, hyung," he points out.

"Teens love to emulate their idols," Minho says, smiling.

"Let's change a topic, please," Jinki pleads, and Kibum takes pity on him and starts talking about idol groups and how fabulous Jo Kwon is.

Happy times don't last long, though. The heat is even more annoying than the rain, and they are even crankier and moodier than the previous time. To make things worse, a hole has formed in their roof, and nobody is willing to brave the heat to fix it up, which results in a crudely-shaped circle of sunshine permanently etched onto the floor. Jonghyun spends the first few nights without sleeping because God damn, that light was blinding (no, the sun didn't stop shining, not even at night). He's used to it now, in a way, although sometimes he wakes up from nightmares of five million headlights shining on him, too bright for him to see anything.

They have their first major argument about three weeks after the heatwave started. Someone had suggested breaking into the mall to get an electric fan, but nobody wanted to go out into the scorching heat to get it.

"Jinki-hyung, you do it," Taemin says. "Please? You're the oldest."

Jinki shifts, uncomfortable from the weight of four gazes. "But Minho's the one who's used to sunshine," he points out. "He's been playing sports since God knows when."

Minho doesn't even bother responding, and his eyes remain closed.

They sit in tense, frustrated silence for a while before Kibum stands up. He grabs a shirt and pulls it on, then wears a pair of jeans. "I'll get it," Kibum tells them, eyes flashing dangerously. "Since you guys are too selfish to do it, I'll fucking go, okay?"

He leaves, slamming the door behind him. Fifteen minutes later, Minho says, "But we don't even have electricity."

It snows overnight. Jonghyun wakes up in the morning shivering, and feels even colder when he realizes Kibum hasn't returned.

"I'll go look for him," Jonghyun says, determination hardening his voice. He thinks of Kibum, who had stalked out in a thin T-shirt and jeans, and feels a wave of nausea sweep through him. Please be okay, Jonghyun thinks. Please be okay, or what will I do for the rest of my life? It doesn't matter that the rest of his life is probably only the length of a few weeks, all that matters is that a certain annoying, sharp-tongued boy is out there freezing to death. It shouldn't matter this much, but it does anyway.

He is about to leave when Minho stops him. "I'll come with you," Minho says.

"No," Jonghyun says vehemently. "Stay behind to take care of Jinki and Taemin." You don't need to die together with us, too.

Taemin gives him a withering look, but there is worry shining in his large eyes. "We're adults, hyung, we can take care of ourselves." He pauses, then continues, "Besides, I want to go with you to look for Kibum-hyung, too."

"No," Jonghyun repeats. "Kibum would kill me if he knew." If he's still alive, Jonghyun thinks, and takes another step towards the door, because time is the biggest factor here.

"I'll come with you," Minho says again, because he is obstinate and stubborn and Kibum's best friend.

Jinki has been watching them silently all this while, but now he gets up and hands both Minho and Jonghyun two thick, puffy jackets. "Take care of each other," he advises. "Stay together at all times."

"But hyung, I want to go too!" Taemin protests, but Jinki gives him a look, and he quiets, pouting.

"This isn't a game, Taemin-ah," Jinki says, and his gaze is serious. "If you can't find Kibum," he continues, then swallows. "I-if you can't find him, come back, okay?"

"I know you mean well," Jonghyun says, his voice shaking. He starts tugging on the jacket, fingers trembling as he zips it up. "But I can't promise you that, hyung, I really can't."

Jinki is silent for a while. "Okay," he says, and the way he looks at Jonghyun and Minho, it's like he's trying to memorize their features as if this is the last time he's going to be seeing them again. Jonghyun turns to see Minho standing there, already wearing his jacket.

"Let's go," Jonghyun says curtly, then steps out into the white, white world.

Minho must have been an explorer in his past life, Jonghyun decides. He navigates through the snow smoothly, while Jonghyun stumbles and trips along behind, wondering if he'd somehow caught Jinki's clumsy disease. When he voices the thought - the explorer bit, not Jinki's clumsy disease - aloud, Minho just gives him a weird look and says, "I just play a lot of sports, hyung." That's a really good answer. Not.

But there are far more important things to do than wonder about Minho's past lives, so Jonghyun clenches his teeth and staggers on. The wind eats into his cheeks and he can't feel his toes anymore, and he's also pretty sure his nose is turning blue. Before long, his teeth feel like they're going to fall out of his mouth any moment, judging from the speed and intensity they're clattering together at. Minho turns around from time to time to make sure he's still there, straggling a little behind, but he doesn't slow his pace, and Jonghyun doesn't ask him to, because finding Kibum is the most important thing, the reason why they're out here in the first place.

Everything is a blur of white, except for Minho, a colorful spark in front of him. Jonghyun keeps his eyes open even when the wind threatens to make him close them, looks out for a thin boy with streaked hair and the brightest eyes in the entire world. It feels like it's been days since they'd started out on this expedition, and even wearing a thick jacket, Jonghyun feels like he's going to die from frostbite. He wonders if Kibum is okay, if he's maybe (and the thought makes his heart toss and turn uneasily) dead already, but then decides that it doesn't matter, he'll go on until he finds Kibum anyway, whether dead or alive.

Jonghyun curses Kibum for being an idiot and running out just like that. Jonghyun curses all of them for pushing the task to one another. Jonghyun curses Taemin for suggesting the dumb idea in the first place. Jonghyun curses himself for not stopping him, for not tugging him back, for not following him. Jonghyun curses the snow, the heat, the weather, the world.

Before he knows it his tears have frozen a path down his cheeks, and he accidentally bites his tongue when he tries to stop his teeth from chattering. "Fuck," Jonghyun says, voice raspy, and sinks down. His hands are so numb from the cold that he doesn't even feel it when he presses them into the powdery snow, and his head is threatening to explode.

"Hyung," Minho says. Jonghyun looks up, and Minho is there, holding out a hand to him. "Come on, we've got to keep walking."

Jonghyun grips Minho's hand, allowing the taller boy to tug him upwards into a standing position. "We have to find him," Minho says, gripping Jonghyun's hand tightly as they continue walking along this never-ending path.

His lungs are sandpapery dry, and his legs are about to give out underneath him. But they keep walking, even as Minho's warm hand grows as cold as Jonghyun's, even as the snow slowly stops falling, even as the sun appears in the clear sky like a miracle.

"M-Minho," Jonghyun manages to squeeze out. "Do you have any idea how far we've walked?"

Minho turns to look at him, but doesn't stop walking. "No," he says honestly. Jonghyun wonders how they'll ever make it back to Jinki and Taemin even if they managed to find Kibum. The snow is starting to melt, and as the sun starts burning brighter, it turns into slushy puddles that splash against the bottom of Jonghyun's jeans. They peel off their jackets, tying it around their waists, and continue walking.

Jonghyun is positive they'll die like this. It's probably been a week since they'd left their house, but he'd pushed the hunger to the back of his mind since a few days ago, and now he feels dizzy and lightheaded. To add on to it all, he's now seeing things, like Kibum had said that one time about people stuck in the desert. "I see a house," Jonghyun says weakly. "Minho, am I going crazy?"

Minho frowns, squints into the distance. "Maybe," Minho allows, and Jonghyun feels his heart thump a beat louder. Fuck. "But that would mean I'm crazy too."

Fuck Minho, Jonghyun corrects mentally. As they edge closer to the house, the door swings open and out steps a thin, tall boy with brown floppy hair. "Kibum-ah!" The boy yells happily, spinning around in the half-melted snow. "Come see, it's stopped snowing!"

Jonghyun freezes at the same time that Minho does. Did you hear that? Minho's eyes seem to say, and Jonghyun nods. This could be a mere coincidence, could be one of five thousand other Kim Kibums, but Minho's started running and Jonghyun just follows, until they are standing beside the brown-haired boy and watching Kibum step out of the house.

"Fuck," Jonghyun says. Kibum's eyes widen and he leaps towards Jonghyun, wrapping arms and legs around him and shrieking his lungs out. They end up toppling onto the ground together, a tangled mess of arms and legs, but Kibum is half-crying and Jonghyun is half-laughing, and everything was worth it after all.

The stranger's name is Seunghyun ("You can call me Bob, if you want." / "Uh, no thanks, I think I'll stick to Seunghyun.") and he's the sixth person alive on this earth. Kibum tells a dramatic story about trekking through the snow and nearly dying and getting mauled by a rhinoceros - Jonghyun stops believing him at this point -, but anyway the gist of the story is that Seunghyun rescued him and took him home.

"What about Jinki-hyung and Taemin-ah?" Kibum wants to know, and Jonghyun fidgets under the intensity of his gaze.

"At home," Minho says.

Kibum hops up from the couch, beaming brightly at Minho. "Let's go, then," he says cheerfully. "I miss them already."

Jonghyun makes a noise of complaint from the corner of the couch he's lounging on. Minho blinks. "Kibum," Minho says, and Kibum's smile fades at the serious note in his voice. "Uh, the truth is, we don't know the way home."

"You... don't know the way home," Kibum says flatly. Minho nods, and Kibum turns to Jonghyun, who immediately sits up straighter. "You don't know the way home?" He asks Jonghyun, voice getting shriller with each word.

"We don't," Jonghyun affirms, making it a point to emphasize the 'we'.

Kibum sinks back down onto the couch, head in hands. "But Jinki-hyung. And Taemin-ah. What will they do?"

"They'll survive," Jonghyun reassures Kibum. After all, if he and Minho had managed to survive trekking through the snow for a week, wouldn't Jinki and Taemin be able to back at home?

It's only when everyone turns to stare at him that Jonghyun realizes he'd been speaking aloud. He coughs. "I didn't meant it that way," he says. "I mean, of course they're going to be fine! Taemin's a smart boy and Jinki-hyung, uh... He'll be okay too."

"What do you mean, a week?" Kibum wants to know.

Jonghyun blinks. "You mean you didn't figure out?" He asks. After all that time and effort and pain they'd gone to rescue him, Kibum couldn't even be bothered to keep track of the dates. Jeez.

"A week?" Minho questions, sounding like he's about to start laughing any moment. "Jonghyun-hyung, I think it'd been less than a day, actually."

Even Seunghyun is laughing at him. "How would you be able to survive without food and water for a week?" He says, gasping for breath as he clutches his stomach. "Oh, Jonghyun-sshi, you're really funny."

Fuck all of you, Jonghyun thinks miserably. Kibum is smirking at him in that annoying way, and Jonghyun wishes he'd never started out on this stupid less-than-a-day trip to save Kibum, since he wasn't the least grateful about it.

When they reach home, there is a long, awkward silence while Jinki and Taemin stare at the three of them as if they are mysterious apparitions, but then Taemin screams and flings himself into Kibum's arms while Jinki just stands there blinking with an open mouth. "We did it," Jonghyun says proudly.

"I would have found my way back myself," Kibum snaps, but his eyes are twinkling.

Kibum tells Taemin and Jinki the story of how he was rescued, and the two of them hang onto every word, even believing the part about the rhinoceros. Jonghyun snorts, and Minho elbows him, but starts laughing anyway.

"But what about him?" Taemin asks, curious. "Why didn't he come back with you guys?"

"He wanted to stay," Kibum says quietly, and Jonghyun stills, remembering how vulnerable Seunghyun had looked when he told them his decision. "He's waiting for his friends."

"His friends are alive?" Jinki asks, and Kibum shrugs. His eyes are darker than usual, and Jinki tactfully changes the topic.

Later that night, Jonghyun cannot seem to fall asleep. Jinki is snoring and Minho's breathing is kind of loud, so he sits up and glances around their dark house, startling when his gaze crashes against a pair of bright eyes.

They sit outside, blanketed by the sea of stars above them. Jonghyun hums a little, and Kibum turns to look at him curiously. "You can sing," Kibum says.

"That was just humming," Jonghyun points out, and Kibum's lips tilt upwards, a beginning of a smile.

"Did you know," Kibum says. "I was a trainee. Before all this, you know, happened."

Jonghyun blinks. He's only just realized that he knows next to nothing about the rest of them, about what schools they attended, how many family members they had, what their dreams and aspirations were.

"I didn't... wow," Jonghyun says. He squints in Kibum's direction, trying to imagine him dancing in a practice room with mirrors on every wall, or maybe singing in a recording studio, headphones clamped around his ears. This reminds him of that dream he had, of what Kibum had said during Imagination Night, and he finds himself leaning forward, wanting Kibum to tell him about another life he could have led.

"It was hard," Kibum says. "It was tiring. I thought I was going to die, but you know, I've always wanted to perform, so I just had to live through it."

Jonghyun is silent. Kibum doesn't talk for a long while, so Jonghyun glances over, and freezes when he realizes Kibum's been staring at him. Kibum smiles, holds his gaze. "I was going to debut soon, you know," Kibum says.

Debut. Jonghyun wonders, if all this had not happened, if he would have seen Kibum on TV someday, singing his heart out and dancing under the bright lines on a music show. If he would have bought Kibum's albums and sang along to his songs, if he would have joined his fanclub.

"I'm sorry," Jonghyun tells him, his heart clenching a little when he thinks of all those years of Kibum's hard work, gone just like that.

"For what?" Kibum wants to know. "I'm not going to blame you for making the world end."

Jonghyun fidgets a little. "Just," Jonghyun says. He clears his throat. "You would have been great."

Kibum's smile fans across his face, starting from one corner and spreading all the way to Jonghyun's lips. "I think so too," Kibum says.

"I'll be your number one fan," Jonghyun offers, and Kibum laughs, the sound ringing in the night and in Jonghyun's heart.

It is back to that sweltering weather again. "How long more," Taemin says.

Jonghyun is lying down, his sweaty body sticking to the floor. He tilts his head to look at Taemin. "How long more what?"

Taemin makes an annoyed noise, and Kibum glances at him. "How long more is it going to take?" Taemin demands. "I'm sick of this. Seriously, how long until the world fucking ends?"
And then everything starts to shake. Jonghyun sits up, and the others jump to their feet. "Taemin-ah," Jonghyun says. "I think you got your wish."

Taemin is pale and trembling, and Minho grabs his wrist and tugs him to his side. Jonghyun scrambles to a standing position, and the five of them move backwards until they are all leaning against a wall. The ground is starting to crack open - Jonghyun can feel rather than see it, the way everything is groaning and grinding underneath him. 
"Is it really happening?" Jinki asks, but nobody answers him. They are all staring down at the middle of the floor, where a jagged line has started to form, and the roof sounds like it's going to give out anytime now.

Someone is clutching his hand tightly, and Jonghyun looks at Kibum, whose eyes are wide and bright and tinged with a strange sort of desperation. Taemin exhales loudly, shakily, and Minho says, "Everything's going to be okay."

It is this sentence that does it. Jonghyun's vision is blurring and he grips Kibum's hand equally tightly, until he's sure their hands are both bone-white, but he doesn't look down to check because the line is expanding and expanding and the gigantic hole feels like it's going to suck them all into it.
He hears Kibum stifle a sob, and he tears his gaze away from the impending danger. Kibum's eyes look as if they are full of stars, and Jonghyun remembers that night when they were talking about their pasts and their futures, when the stars were listening to their time running out.

Anytime now. Jonghyun thinks of alternate realities and other universes and wonders if somewhere out there, there is another Kim Jonghyun who is safe and happy, who has done all the things he's wanted to do so he can die with no regrets, no regrets at all. 
 Now.