INTJs and Social rituals
This has probably been asked many times before but do other INTJs feel like they don't grasp the meaning behind social rituals? I don't mean in the sense of being polite or having good manners but I find myself often feeling puzzled by small talk or just being aware that there is an expectation of a certain kind of interaction on the other end but
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the ritual of flirtation and sending mixed messages about one's feelings is very difficult to understand
On what level?
A romantic interest makes you very vulnerable but can have a very high payoff, so naturally you want one, but you also do not want to just surrender to someone you do not yet know well enough. This is a clear "Is this what I really want" situation where you must test the waters and frankly, not make things _too_ easy, as you must know there is sufficient buy-in to investing energy in the relationship on the other side as well.
I like to know where people stand
I think at the start of something that could turn into a romantic interest, people typically do not know where they stand themselves, because really, there is no rational way to figure it out, you need to find out and feel if you are okay with getting in deeper..
Does anyone else feel this is a barrier to relationships and do you have any advice on how to deal with it?
Oh yes, I feel the barrier. Sometimes you need to dare to take a chance and go in and play that flirtation game. You might want to play with just flirtation without the intent of being serious first, to find out what it is like. I was at first very uncomfortable.
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I hadn't thought of it that way but this makes a lot of sense.
You might want to play with just flirtation without the intent of being serious first, to find out what it is like. I was at first very uncomfortable.
*nods* I think I will try that. Thanks!
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