(no subject)
i really don't get it.
i don't get what i like.
i don't get why i like certain things.
why are red leaves so beautiful? why are certain words so beautiful? why is reading about someones life so beautiful? why is the word beautiful so ugly? why do i idolize certain things for no reason? especially since the things i idolize are inanimate. i idolize red leaves. i idolize WORDS. who the fuck idolizes words? i idolize events that happen to other people.
it's not that i want to BE someone else. it's that i want to EXPERIENCE what they experience. it's so enlightening. i want to know everything and experience everything. my life is good and fun at times but it just seems so DULL when i think of what it could be. fuck.
education. intelligence. enlightenment. intricacy. elitism.
fucking chemicals.