I'm worthless
I was hopeful, someone who I think would make a really good friend bailed out on me, didn't even call. That really makes me feel good, especially when the conversation that led to us hanging out this weekend was about why I'm so ready to die. I'm glad someone cares. My mom sure doesn't. I go to sleep at 5:00 quite often, to escape from this life, to hide from my troubles, and no one even bothers to get me out of bed for dinner, my brother goes to sleep at 6:00 and it's the end of the world. My mom flips out and tries to get me to make him feel better, tries everything, and talks about how worried she is about him, when he's been out and about all day, and what have I been doing? I have been sitting in the same spot ALL day long embroidering on a pair of pants. But that's ok, right? It's just fine and dandy to be a hermit and not set a toe outside all day long. It's perfectly normal to be crying your eyes out, but for your brother to go to sleep at 6:00, is absolutely preposterous. I wish someone cared about me, I wish I had someone to hug and have it be a sincere one when I feel so alone, but there isn't anyone for me to hug, no one for me to run to, no one for me to call, no one for me to IM, not a soul, and some how that passes as normal, somehow. It'd probably pass as normal if I killed myself too.