(no subject)
My brothers constantly tell me how much our mom talks about me and says how she's so proud and all of that jazz, and how she really does care about me and does things for me more than she lets on.
Okay, so if that's sooo true, to the point where they feel like she acts as if I'm the better child compared to them, then why do I keep getting screwed over for them, and even my dad, who she's divorcing?
She's divorcing dad. He now sleeps downstairs in Jay's old room. I'm forced to sleep/live upstairs in the living room and keep my daily items in the back room while my other stuff remains in my actual room. Okay. I got used to it. Sometimes I kept my daily stuff in the living room since it's way more convenient to have my stuff with me, but I've grown accustomed to going back and forth between the living room, bathroom, and back room.
But now, Jay's moving back in with the baby. Now the back room is going to be the baby's room, and Jay will be sleeping downstairs, while I'm still forced to sleep on the couch, and now ALL of my stuff will be downstairs in my actual room, which I'll have to move halfway out of since Jay and dad will both be living downstairs. Why does Jay get to sleep downstairs and I don't? He doesn't even have a room downstairs anymore...I do! It's so inconvenient to have to go downstairs and back up for everything I need...I have to go to the back room to get stuff, then put it all back in there when I'm done with whatever it is. Now it'll have to be downstairs I go. All because what? My parents are getting divorced and my brother's baby's mom screws my brother over. Yay. Fucking bullshit.
That was my rant. Now, some people who read this (if any?) will think that I'm just being a baby and all stupid and worked up about this, but I've been going through this for about thirteen/fourteen months now, and I thought I was getting used to things...finally accepting that I can't stay in my own room or have any sort of control over my own things, but now it's all changing again...because of what? Another unstable family member? Great. I'm the one who's stable compared to most others in my family...17. Graduating from high school. Going to college. Getting a job. Staying here. etc. Whyyyy am I constantly getting moved around and not controlling my own items? Blahh.
I think I'm fine now. Yup. A good rant was all I needed.