Strength
I get it, you know. It's not about me. I understand that. I just need to take a few minutes to explain.
This week has been stressful. Maggie is out since last friday due to an appendix suddenly going bad and needing to be removed. So I am covering her, doing her job while she is gone. And then on Wednesday, my Father-in-Law calls me about 10 a.m. because he needs to get in touch with Austin, and this day of all days, his phone is off. Granddaddy Ike passed away that morning, he told me. So I sat there, trying very hard not to cry, unable to move or think or do anything. And then I ran out the door, telling them I was going to lunch (I didn't want to tell them before I told Austin, it just didn't seem right) and rushed home to tell my husband that his Grandfather was gone. Then I got to rush back to work to work the rest of the day.
It was hard. And it sucked.
I know I've only known him 3 1/2 years. But I loved him like he was my own. And I'm going to miss him. And it hurts.
Working the rest of this week, then, has been almost as hard as the day I found out. Because Maggie isn't here, I can't leave, I don't really get a lunch break because evidently no one else knows how to answer the phone. TOday, I was going to go out with Austin, (which, you know, much needed Austin time) and everyone left. It was, honestly, my breaking point.
I am doing my best to leave Maggie all the information she needs, since I won't actually see her until I return. Then trying to coordinate flights and packing, and be there for Austin, take care of Michael, cover today's sitting needs (God bless Andrea and her wonderful kids)....find costumes for a show, .....well....I'm stressed.
In the middle of all of this, tomorrow night we are taking my nephew to the opening game of your MLS Champion Colorado Rapids, which was his Christmas present. I'm excited, he is excited, Austin is excited, Michael doesn't know it's coming. Exciting, but still one more thing to coordinate. Also, next weekend is Michael's birthday party (Kate, I did invite you and Mark, right? I really meant to and now I don't know if I did or not) which I had all the preparation work planned out, and, well, the best laid plans and all. Right out the window. So, happy to do it, but one more thing to coordinate. All the while, taking a glance every now and again at this card, this Valentine's Day Card, that is sitting on my desk. Ike sent it to me last year. I need to cry. There just hasn't been time.
But, you see, it isn't about me. I have been given these things to do because I have the abiltiy to do it. I can do Maggie's job, I am good at supporting my husband, my son loves me, I'm good at planning things, and my nephew, well, he's just awesome. God never gives us more than he knows we can handle, I know this to be true. But there have been times when I have wondered if he overestimated me this week. I sing. I listen to music, I play the piano, I exercise. It helps.
Father God, please continue to give me the strength to do what You have asked of me. Amen.