Gaze Long into the Abyss. (Xover, Monster/Death Note)
Originally posted on my personal LJ, May 14th, 2007.
Title: Gaze Long into the Abyss.
Fandom: Monster/Death Note.
Warnings: Non-con/dub-con, mindfucking, creepyness.
Characters/couples: Johann/Light.
Summary: “I wonder,” the man observed, turning to look at Light with that same gentle, unassuming smile. “I'm no one you know. And I'm not who you think I am.”
Rating: NC17.
Notes: Written for springkink: Monster/Death Note, Johann/Light: Non-con, false dominance - Light discovers a 'Monster' who lacks a name.
Gaze Long into The Abyss.
He who fights with monsters
should look to it that he himself
does not become a monster.
And when you gaze long into an abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche.
Light wouldn't have paid attention to anyone on the train but for the fact that the foreigner hadn't taken his eyes off him. He didn't look up and didn't turn to look towards him, knowing that if the man was involved with the police, to do something like that would be incriminating.
There was something in his eyes that compelled him. But when Light decided that not noticing someone staring him would be as incriminating and he looked up, the man just smiled a moment before standing up, walking out of the train at the next station.
By his side, Ryuuk cackled, twisting to look at him upside down.
"Oi, Light," he called. Light didn't turn to look at him, not when he knew Ryuuk was grinning the way he always did when he knew something he didn't know. "Li~ight~ just so you know, with that man? You're gonna lose this time."
Ryuuk's taunting was what made him clench his jaw and get off the train there. It was easy to follow the man with his blond hair and broad shoulders; Light's only regret was that he was too noticeable with his school uniform as he walked a few steps behind him. His eyes narrowed when the man suddenly disappeared from in front of him, wondering if he had walked inside a store or--
A hand on the small of his back and a warm breath over his neck. He stiffened, smelling the man's expensive cologne, looking at him from the corner of his eyes.
“Yagami Light,” the foreigner said, voice barely accented, and if it wasn't bad enough that he knew his name, the man smiled then, soft and kind, looking directly into his eyes. “Kira.”
He felt frozen for less than a second, but he kept his normal tone of voice. “I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.”
The man's hand urged him to walk so Light did. He didn't know if the man had a gun, didn't know anything more than his kind smile and the way he seemed to be towering over him, despite the fact that they were of similar height.
“Ah, but you do,” the man looked at him again and Light tried to commit his face to memory for once he found his name. He was tall and handsome with fine, chiseled features, with soft blond hair and blue eyes. He tried to think how this man would've known, he had been so careful after Penber and Naomi, and he had been sure no one had been following him lately --
The answer came to him soon enough. L. Could this man be L, the famous detective? Light knew that if L was still doubting him, he couldn't possibly have enough proofs on him. That said, if this man was L, he'd be trying to find some sort of conclusive evidence with this.
“Who are you?” He asked instead, looking around. The man was guiding him towards a hotel and it was only then that Light found out that he had moved his hand away from his back a while ago and that he had been following him without a question. He felt his skin crawl at that but he forced himself to keep his walking steady.
“I wonder,” the man observed, turning to look at him with that same gentle, unassuming smile. “I'm no one you know. And I'm not who you think I am.”
Despite his best attempts, Light felt himself bristling, ready to lash out. How could this man read into him so well, when he couldn't read anything at all? So far all he knew was that the man wasn't afraid of the possibilities of him killing him. He looked around, but Ryuuk didn't seem to be around, not that the shinigami would help him. He had been clear on that.
He was guided to a small hotel and to an even smaller room. Despite his decision to move away quickly once he had the chance, when the man told him to sit down, Light found himself doing as he was told. There was something in this man's voice, he thought, that clouded his brain, made it hard for him to think straight. He clenched his hands, let the pain help him focus a little.
“I wanted to see his country,” the man said, taking off his jacket and his tie, placing them carefully on top of a suitcase. He unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt as he turned to look at him. The man took hold of his suitcase and put it by the side of bed, and Light wanted to reach for it again because the Death Note was there and he just had to find out who this man was, see a paper with his name and then it'd all be over. He didn't.
“You made me stay longer than I expected, Yagami-kun.” the man informed him, a note of amusement in his voice. He touched his face and Light found that his brain couldn't decide if he should recoil from it or move forward, the cloudiness spreading. The man started undoing the buttons of his shirt, calmly, slowly. Light clenched his hand again, let his nails bit hard at the flesh of his palms, enough for him to get some ground. “You, Kira, are very interesting. I wanted to meet you.”
“If you think I'm not going to fight, you're sadly mistaken.” He moved his hand and held unto the man's wrist. The foreigner looked from him towards the hand and Light immediately let go, as if he had been scolded.
“Why would you fight?” The man asked calmly, finishing with the buttons before he was pressing him against the mattress. His fingers moved efficiently through his uniform, undressing him. Light found out with a hint of panic that part of him didn't want to move from this, that he wanted to reveal on this feeling. “You know it's useless, Yagami-kun. You may not want this, but you want the chance to know who am I, what I do, how do I do these things that confuse you so much.”
Light clenched his jaw. He didn't, he didn't want this, didn't want this man to - he gasped when slick fingers pressed inside him, not particularly vicious, preparing him carefully. The man smiled at him and his smile was terrifying, indescribable fear coiling deep into Light, slithering through his body. Then, the foreigner was hooking his hands under his knees, pressing them back against his chest, and Light found that he had just enough presence of mind to hold unto the sheets before the man pressed inside him.
There was no condom, he noticed - the man obviously didn't care about leaving DNA trace around if he was being that careless, and that worried Light. For someone to have that kind of confidence, where even mistakes weren't that, it meant that finding out who the man was would be hard; it was as if the man was silently telling him that he didn't exist, despite the way Light could feel his cock moving inside him, despite the way that his thrusts were making him hard, as if a ghost was fucking him.
The man's hands moved from his knees, curving to cup Light's ass, angling him. Light gasped, eyes widening when that made him really feel the way the man's cock shifted inside of him, feeling so full with each long, slow stroke. His cock was heavy and hard and he gasped again when the man smiled. He was barely breathing hard, barely a light sheen of sweat over his skin and a pale flush over his skin.
His eyes terrified Light, even more than his smile did. The man moved a hand to take his cock, stroking him with no apparent hurry, the same way he was fucking him. Light moaned again, arching his back despite the way he was still trying to tell his body that the responses were very much unwanted when one of the foreigner's deep, slick thrusts pressed deeply into him and Light was helpless as he came at his touch. Light moaned, eyes closing despite him trying not to, feeling his semen hit his skin before the man let go of his cock and held to his legs again. Light was dimly aware of his thrusts speeding up, the way he was too sensitive to stand it but then the man made a small sound, the first sound since he started fucking him - a muttered name, perhaps? - and then he felt him coming inside his body.
The man moved away from him after a few moments like that, but still slowly and calmly. Light knew he had to move again, he wasn't going to get the answers like this, never mind what the man had said. He could kill him. Ignore the Death Note, he could grab a lamp and hit him, strangle him, throw him out the fucking window-
The man turned to look at him, fixing his clothes calmly. He smiled again, his eyes still empty. Dead eyes.
“You may want to rest for an hour or two before you go back home, Yagami-kun,” he offered, smiling softly. He picked up his suitcase. “I paid the room for three more hours. Feel free to use them.”
Light glared, trying to will his body to move but he... he didn't want to. He wanted to rest like he had been told.
"When I find who you are--"
The man's smile interrupted him.
"When that happens, I hope you find it in you to inform me first, Yagami-kun. Good evening." The man bowed his head a little and stepped out. Light felt his eyes closing up despite his attempts not to.
Light woke up half an hour before the three hours were done. Try as he might, he couldn't recall much of the man's physical features other than his eyes.
Two months after that, Light met L. L had the same kind of empty, dead eyes the man had had.
Title: Gaze Long into the Abyss.
Fandom: Monster/Death Note.
Warnings: Non-con/dub-con, mindfucking, creepyness.
Characters/couples: Johann/Light.
Summary: “I wonder,” the man observed, turning to look at Light with that same gentle, unassuming smile. “I'm no one you know. And I'm not who you think I am.”
Rating: NC17.
Notes: Written for springkink: Monster/Death Note, Johann/Light: Non-con, false dominance - Light discovers a 'Monster' who lacks a name.
Gaze Long into The Abyss.
He who fights with monsters
should look to it that he himself
does not become a monster.
And when you gaze long into an abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche.
Light wouldn't have paid attention to anyone on the train but for the fact that the foreigner hadn't taken his eyes off him. He didn't look up and didn't turn to look towards him, knowing that if the man was involved with the police, to do something like that would be incriminating.
There was something in his eyes that compelled him. But when Light decided that not noticing someone staring him would be as incriminating and he looked up, the man just smiled a moment before standing up, walking out of the train at the next station.
By his side, Ryuuk cackled, twisting to look at him upside down.
"Oi, Light," he called. Light didn't turn to look at him, not when he knew Ryuuk was grinning the way he always did when he knew something he didn't know. "Li~ight~ just so you know, with that man? You're gonna lose this time."
Ryuuk's taunting was what made him clench his jaw and get off the train there. It was easy to follow the man with his blond hair and broad shoulders; Light's only regret was that he was too noticeable with his school uniform as he walked a few steps behind him. His eyes narrowed when the man suddenly disappeared from in front of him, wondering if he had walked inside a store or--
A hand on the small of his back and a warm breath over his neck. He stiffened, smelling the man's expensive cologne, looking at him from the corner of his eyes.
“Yagami Light,” the foreigner said, voice barely accented, and if it wasn't bad enough that he knew his name, the man smiled then, soft and kind, looking directly into his eyes. “Kira.”
He felt frozen for less than a second, but he kept his normal tone of voice. “I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.”
The man's hand urged him to walk so Light did. He didn't know if the man had a gun, didn't know anything more than his kind smile and the way he seemed to be towering over him, despite the fact that they were of similar height.
“Ah, but you do,” the man looked at him again and Light tried to commit his face to memory for once he found his name. He was tall and handsome with fine, chiseled features, with soft blond hair and blue eyes. He tried to think how this man would've known, he had been so careful after Penber and Naomi, and he had been sure no one had been following him lately --
The answer came to him soon enough. L. Could this man be L, the famous detective? Light knew that if L was still doubting him, he couldn't possibly have enough proofs on him. That said, if this man was L, he'd be trying to find some sort of conclusive evidence with this.
“Who are you?” He asked instead, looking around. The man was guiding him towards a hotel and it was only then that Light found out that he had moved his hand away from his back a while ago and that he had been following him without a question. He felt his skin crawl at that but he forced himself to keep his walking steady.
“I wonder,” the man observed, turning to look at him with that same gentle, unassuming smile. “I'm no one you know. And I'm not who you think I am.”
Despite his best attempts, Light felt himself bristling, ready to lash out. How could this man read into him so well, when he couldn't read anything at all? So far all he knew was that the man wasn't afraid of the possibilities of him killing him. He looked around, but Ryuuk didn't seem to be around, not that the shinigami would help him. He had been clear on that.
He was guided to a small hotel and to an even smaller room. Despite his decision to move away quickly once he had the chance, when the man told him to sit down, Light found himself doing as he was told. There was something in this man's voice, he thought, that clouded his brain, made it hard for him to think straight. He clenched his hands, let the pain help him focus a little.
“I wanted to see his country,” the man said, taking off his jacket and his tie, placing them carefully on top of a suitcase. He unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt as he turned to look at him. The man took hold of his suitcase and put it by the side of bed, and Light wanted to reach for it again because the Death Note was there and he just had to find out who this man was, see a paper with his name and then it'd all be over. He didn't.
“You made me stay longer than I expected, Yagami-kun.” the man informed him, a note of amusement in his voice. He touched his face and Light found that his brain couldn't decide if he should recoil from it or move forward, the cloudiness spreading. The man started undoing the buttons of his shirt, calmly, slowly. Light clenched his hand again, let his nails bit hard at the flesh of his palms, enough for him to get some ground. “You, Kira, are very interesting. I wanted to meet you.”
“If you think I'm not going to fight, you're sadly mistaken.” He moved his hand and held unto the man's wrist. The foreigner looked from him towards the hand and Light immediately let go, as if he had been scolded.
“Why would you fight?” The man asked calmly, finishing with the buttons before he was pressing him against the mattress. His fingers moved efficiently through his uniform, undressing him. Light found out with a hint of panic that part of him didn't want to move from this, that he wanted to reveal on this feeling. “You know it's useless, Yagami-kun. You may not want this, but you want the chance to know who am I, what I do, how do I do these things that confuse you so much.”
Light clenched his jaw. He didn't, he didn't want this, didn't want this man to - he gasped when slick fingers pressed inside him, not particularly vicious, preparing him carefully. The man smiled at him and his smile was terrifying, indescribable fear coiling deep into Light, slithering through his body. Then, the foreigner was hooking his hands under his knees, pressing them back against his chest, and Light found that he had just enough presence of mind to hold unto the sheets before the man pressed inside him.
There was no condom, he noticed - the man obviously didn't care about leaving DNA trace around if he was being that careless, and that worried Light. For someone to have that kind of confidence, where even mistakes weren't that, it meant that finding out who the man was would be hard; it was as if the man was silently telling him that he didn't exist, despite the way Light could feel his cock moving inside him, despite the way that his thrusts were making him hard, as if a ghost was fucking him.
The man's hands moved from his knees, curving to cup Light's ass, angling him. Light gasped, eyes widening when that made him really feel the way the man's cock shifted inside of him, feeling so full with each long, slow stroke. His cock was heavy and hard and he gasped again when the man smiled. He was barely breathing hard, barely a light sheen of sweat over his skin and a pale flush over his skin.
His eyes terrified Light, even more than his smile did. The man moved a hand to take his cock, stroking him with no apparent hurry, the same way he was fucking him. Light moaned again, arching his back despite the way he was still trying to tell his body that the responses were very much unwanted when one of the foreigner's deep, slick thrusts pressed deeply into him and Light was helpless as he came at his touch. Light moaned, eyes closing despite him trying not to, feeling his semen hit his skin before the man let go of his cock and held to his legs again. Light was dimly aware of his thrusts speeding up, the way he was too sensitive to stand it but then the man made a small sound, the first sound since he started fucking him - a muttered name, perhaps? - and then he felt him coming inside his body.
The man moved away from him after a few moments like that, but still slowly and calmly. Light knew he had to move again, he wasn't going to get the answers like this, never mind what the man had said. He could kill him. Ignore the Death Note, he could grab a lamp and hit him, strangle him, throw him out the fucking window-
The man turned to look at him, fixing his clothes calmly. He smiled again, his eyes still empty. Dead eyes.
“You may want to rest for an hour or two before you go back home, Yagami-kun,” he offered, smiling softly. He picked up his suitcase. “I paid the room for three more hours. Feel free to use them.”
Light glared, trying to will his body to move but he... he didn't want to. He wanted to rest like he had been told.
"When I find who you are--"
The man's smile interrupted him.
"When that happens, I hope you find it in you to inform me first, Yagami-kun. Good evening." The man bowed his head a little and stepped out. Light felt his eyes closing up despite his attempts not to.
Light woke up half an hour before the three hours were done. Try as he might, he couldn't recall much of the man's physical features other than his eyes.
Two months after that, Light met L. L had the same kind of empty, dead eyes the man had had.