Prayer
I made it to prayer today. I was supposed to have worked at 6am, my seventh day, but God enforced a Sabbath and sent me home because we had extra people show up for the shift. At first I wasn't going to go to prayer, I was going to watch the sun come up (one of my very favorite activities) but somehow, my car drove itself to prayer. It's very weird, but I've been tending toward the intraverted side lately, which is a new thing for me even in grief. usually I spew my heart openly to the world and hope they take cover. I know not what to credit the change, but all of a sudden I'd rather spent my time alone than with people. In any crowd, I find it difficult to make myself stay. More than one person at a time is seriously overwhelming and I find it very hard to make myself stay at group events.
Anyway, prayer ended up being quite a blessing, though not exactly a fix-all. I'm not sure how to explain this, but I find it much easier to relate to people who aren't intimately involved in my life as of late. I was refreshed in the fact that so many others seemed to be faithfully bearing up under hardship as well.
I don't know that this is true, but it seems so to me: I've noticed that the closer I am to people the more they feel responsible for fixing me. It's a hard thing for me for someone to feel responsible to fix my problems; it makes me feel like I'm failing them when I'm not fixed by their efforts. However, when others are not so invested in the outcome of my life, they seem to be much better supporters... Any thoughts?
And thank you all for your prayers, I think they're helping tons. :)
Anyway, prayer ended up being quite a blessing, though not exactly a fix-all. I'm not sure how to explain this, but I find it much easier to relate to people who aren't intimately involved in my life as of late. I was refreshed in the fact that so many others seemed to be faithfully bearing up under hardship as well.
I don't know that this is true, but it seems so to me: I've noticed that the closer I am to people the more they feel responsible for fixing me. It's a hard thing for me for someone to feel responsible to fix my problems; it makes me feel like I'm failing them when I'm not fixed by their efforts. However, when others are not so invested in the outcome of my life, they seem to be much better supporters... Any thoughts?
And thank you all for your prayers, I think they're helping tons. :)