camp
hey diary,
since no one comments on my journal entries anyway, i'll just make this out to you.
camp was so amazing this year. it wasn't a huge stepping stone in which i promised to quit doing this or to start doing something else. i wasn't hugely awakened or set free or... i don't know. it was no big bang this year. but it was so awesome.
our speaker dr. moore was a college professor and that kinda scared me b/c i was like, "is he gonna be any good for a youth camp? will he bore us?" but he was so awesome. he was like our camp's dad for the week. it was so amazing having him there. he didn't put on a front to pretend that he was a hip, cool dude that knew everything that happened in the life of a 16 yo. but at the same time he knew everything w/o knowing anything!! not to say that he's stupid or anything but it was so amazing that week.
he talked about the wilderness and how we all have to go thru it. how elijah went thru it, and after he went thru it (easy wilderness) he didn't come out. he went into a harder wilderness.
he also spoke on the turning of elder's hearts to the children and the turning of children's hearts to the elders. the elders want respect and we want a blessing. a blessing like what jacob and essau fought over. we desire and practically beg for that w/ the way we live and cry out.
he sang this song about the wilderness and i don't remember any of what it said other than "in the wilderness, in the wilderness................ in the the wilderness" but i wish i did. if i needed to i guess i would, huh?
i also learned that it's ok not to take giant steps. it's ok to take a little minature step that will eventually lead you to a bigger step. maybe i'm not ready to make a huge step anytime soon or at camp or whatever. but i can take little steps that will lead me up to it.
i also learned how God feels when we stray from Him. how it feels to be let down. like the way He takes us in regardless of where we've come from or who we are. then so quickly we go to something else and make that more important. it was like, i really learned that Jesus weeps w/ me and rejoices w/ me as well. when it seems like my heart has broken.......... i don't know. words won't do it justice. it's like when my heart is broken and bleeding that His heart is doing the same thing. when i've fallen so hard on my knees b/c i can't stand any longer that He's right there. and no matter how bad it hurts, it hurts Him too. that's all.