my problem
i never take the initiative.
and i think that makes me hard to read.
because even though i seem like a very brazen person...
i have an extremely timid heart.
so getting started is always the issue because i'm constantly undercutting myself.
im deathly afraid of screwing things up. again.
so unless i'm sent a very clear signal (what can i say, i guess i'm a typical dense guy)
i.. i just sit there. hah... i guess in some ways i'm a coin operated boy (yay dresden dolls!)
except i want to pull the wires from the wall.
the reason this is a problem is because guys are supposed to be the confident go-getters... i mean lets face it, confidence is key.
BUT...
(insert some long drawn out melodramatic rant about how im emotionally scarred - how my heart is blacker than the darkest of dark things on a dark moonless night in a dark scary cave and how no one understands & why you should pity me - here.)
the basic jist is that somewhere i kinda bought into the whole "I'm not good enough to have self esteem" deal.
damn i need a fuckin' slap to the face so i can snap out of this shit.
what a silly emo kid, huh?
and i think that makes me hard to read.
because even though i seem like a very brazen person...
i have an extremely timid heart.
so getting started is always the issue because i'm constantly undercutting myself.
im deathly afraid of screwing things up. again.
so unless i'm sent a very clear signal (what can i say, i guess i'm a typical dense guy)
i.. i just sit there. hah... i guess in some ways i'm a coin operated boy (yay dresden dolls!)
except i want to pull the wires from the wall.
the reason this is a problem is because guys are supposed to be the confident go-getters... i mean lets face it, confidence is key.
BUT...
(insert some long drawn out melodramatic rant about how im emotionally scarred - how my heart is blacker than the darkest of dark things on a dark moonless night in a dark scary cave and how no one understands & why you should pity me - here.)
the basic jist is that somewhere i kinda bought into the whole "I'm not good enough to have self esteem" deal.
damn i need a fuckin' slap to the face so i can snap out of this shit.
what a silly emo kid, huh?