Saiyuki: Chanting Penance

[insidiae]

So. My first lemon. And boy what a lemon it is.

Uh.

Yeah, okay, so this is not a nice story. This is not bedtime tale for the kiddies. It is dark, and it is nasty. And. Um. I suck at writing lemons, I've learned.

Title: Chanting Penance
Author: insidiaeRating: Very much NC-17

Comments

[ms_legerdemain]

Damn, that was fantastic in a very, very depressing way. XD I liked it very much. Poor Hakkai. I also liked the little hint of Gojyo/Hakkai at the end (ok, ok, I just like Gojyo wherever he is :p).

Lovely work. <3

[geri]

This was very agnsty and quite good al through hakkai is a known guilt keeper even when he only did what was predestined to happen anyway. It's so sad that he should feel as if he did do something wrong were he has to atone for it by any means necessary even letting the enemy rape him. To try and atone for his love for kanan. Very good story i liked this very much.

[amikko]

it's just as dark and nasty as u said it'd be. i love how u portrayed hazel in this, his cruelty to hakkai guided by the screwed logic he believes in. wonderful read. :)

[pfmoi]

I'm afraid I have to be the bad guy here. I could not continue when it got to the part that Hakkai called the lesbian hostess Kanan. It's just too....overdone, to me. Up to that part, it was wonderful, but that's just way too much, in my opinion. Especially when the woman didn't even look like Kanan.

Important note: I am not flaming you. I'm just giving you my honest reason for not finishing the story, so you know what might potentially cause objections from others. I will keep my fingers crossed that when you post your next fic, I'll be able to finish it, because what I did read was pretty cool. Much love and good luck from madam snooty. X3

[insidiae]

Oh, don't worry. I know the difference between a flame and a concrit, and this is hardly the harshest criticism I've ever received.

When I said that comments and criticisms make me happy, I meant it. Thank you very much for offering your opinion. I can't improve as a writer if I don't know what to work on.

Thank you also for the comment on my writing up to that point. It's always nice to hear positive feedback <3.

Again, I really appreciate all the thought you put into this comment - both the compliments on my writing skills in general, and the feedback on how I can avoid cliches (which I hate, too). Now, I have my reasons for him comparing the hostess to Kanan, but I absolutely see where you're coming from. So. Yeah.

Thanks. Again. >_>

-Diae-

[feait]

that was dark, heart-aching, and brilliant!

i could never imagine those 2 together, but your fic showed me there is only one way they could be. thank you.

Hakkai truly enjoys being a glutton for punishment, does he?