Ode to the Jersey Shore
The other day I was marinating the idea of posting an entry similar to my last, but naming my least favorite things of 2010. I came up with a few on the spot: iPads, Bristol Palin, Justin Bieber's hair, the TV show Glee, and Betty White being in everything I watched. Don't get me wrong, I love Betty and have since the Golden Girls. One time when my friend in college was having a bad trip I even turned on the Golden Girls to soothe her. Apparently watching the four white haired vixens wasn't the remedy, as she exclaimed in horror that their "faces were melting."
I digress. As I didn't feel I had enough dislikes of 2010, I turned to google for inspiration. I then stumbled across this: Worst show (2010): Jersey Shore (MTV). "Only in America do we pay a bunch of egotistical boneheads to have sex, get drunk, and brawl on camera -- and call it entertainment." Now I understand in theory, on paper...really however you look at it-Jersey Shore is a horrible piece of TV programming. There's also a good chance if someone had described the concept of such a show before it's conception, I would have immediately ruled it out as something I had no interest in watching. But somehow I got sucked into it with the rest of the world, when MTV seemed to reel us all in by simply refusing to play anything else besides Jersey Shore marathons. After deep consideration of the aforementioned statement, I believe whoever it was that declared the show the worst of 2010, really meant to say it was the best.
What's not to love about the rag-tag gang at the Jersey Shore? You've got Sammi the Sweetheart (whose actually a huge bitch), and her pussy whipped sidekick Ron. I don't actually mind them much, and I always look forward to their dramatics. When they are getting along-they are actually pretty boring. As much as Sam annoys me she is the most attractive girl in the house, which is why I thought it was ludicrous when she was contemplating hooking up with the "Situation" in the first few episodes. The only situation he has as far as I'm concerned is that it looks like he has gotten beat in the face by a tire iron. I don't care about his washboard abs, they don't do shit for his personality or cranial region. Paulie D has become one of my true loves at the Jersey Shore. Mostly because of the turrets he has apparently developed over the last season that make him create great jingles such as "tee-shirt time" "the cabs are here!" and "burgers for the boys!" My sister-friend Karen was once in a car in Providence Rhode Island where they pulled up alongside a guy on a motorcycle with spinners that looked suspiciously like Paulie D. They rolled down the window and asked "Are you Paulie D?" to which he replied "Yea, so what?" and then proceeded to peel off through a red light. So Perfect. Another JS housemate who has got a spot in my heart is J-Wow. I've referred to her before as my "trush" (combination of words "trashy" and "crush"). For some reason I'd really enjoy getting drunk at the Jersey Shore house and making out with her in the hot tub a little bit-only if it has been chlorinated prior of course. Then there's Snookie. She eats pickles erotically, walks around making noises that are nonsensical that sound like a cross between my cat Tucker and a retarded baby, not to mention when she throws in random back walkovers and handsprings when she's dancing at the club. I also cry laughing every time they show a preview for the new season where she's totally wasted running down the boardwalk screaming "WHERE'S THE BEACH!?" In fact, I cried just now thinking about it. Then there's Vinny. I'd say he's the most normal of the bunch, if you can even use the word "normal" in correlation with the show, and I'm always rooting for him in the corner. When he got stood up (twice) by Ramona, I nearly went down to Miami beach to take care of her myself. I could talk about Angelina, but I find it really hard too because I hate her. My favorite Angelina moment was in the recent episode when she left the show for the SECOND time and Vinny said "Alright Kim Kardashian- you're more like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island you ugly bitch!" (After she had dubbed herself the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island-you don't "dub" yourself, stupid).
It hasn't been hard to suffer through the JS withdrawls, because I can watch the re-runs of Jenny and Sam ripping off each other's acrylic nails time and time again. My favorite fight was probably where Snookie fought Angelina and no one tried to break it up, they just moved furniture around them so they wouldn't break it and watched.
I don't know about you, but I can't wait till Thursday night when I can get my fix of blow-outs, poofs, and house beats once again. God bless you MTV, I am so DTF.
The cast.
I digress. As I didn't feel I had enough dislikes of 2010, I turned to google for inspiration. I then stumbled across this: Worst show (2010): Jersey Shore (MTV). "Only in America do we pay a bunch of egotistical boneheads to have sex, get drunk, and brawl on camera -- and call it entertainment." Now I understand in theory, on paper...really however you look at it-Jersey Shore is a horrible piece of TV programming. There's also a good chance if someone had described the concept of such a show before it's conception, I would have immediately ruled it out as something I had no interest in watching. But somehow I got sucked into it with the rest of the world, when MTV seemed to reel us all in by simply refusing to play anything else besides Jersey Shore marathons. After deep consideration of the aforementioned statement, I believe whoever it was that declared the show the worst of 2010, really meant to say it was the best.
What's not to love about the rag-tag gang at the Jersey Shore? You've got Sammi the Sweetheart (whose actually a huge bitch), and her pussy whipped sidekick Ron. I don't actually mind them much, and I always look forward to their dramatics. When they are getting along-they are actually pretty boring. As much as Sam annoys me she is the most attractive girl in the house, which is why I thought it was ludicrous when she was contemplating hooking up with the "Situation" in the first few episodes. The only situation he has as far as I'm concerned is that it looks like he has gotten beat in the face by a tire iron. I don't care about his washboard abs, they don't do shit for his personality or cranial region. Paulie D has become one of my true loves at the Jersey Shore. Mostly because of the turrets he has apparently developed over the last season that make him create great jingles such as "tee-shirt time" "the cabs are here!" and "burgers for the boys!" My sister-friend Karen was once in a car in Providence Rhode Island where they pulled up alongside a guy on a motorcycle with spinners that looked suspiciously like Paulie D. They rolled down the window and asked "Are you Paulie D?" to which he replied "Yea, so what?" and then proceeded to peel off through a red light. So Perfect. Another JS housemate who has got a spot in my heart is J-Wow. I've referred to her before as my "trush" (combination of words "trashy" and "crush"). For some reason I'd really enjoy getting drunk at the Jersey Shore house and making out with her in the hot tub a little bit-only if it has been chlorinated prior of course. Then there's Snookie. She eats pickles erotically, walks around making noises that are nonsensical that sound like a cross between my cat Tucker and a retarded baby, not to mention when she throws in random back walkovers and handsprings when she's dancing at the club. I also cry laughing every time they show a preview for the new season where she's totally wasted running down the boardwalk screaming "WHERE'S THE BEACH!?" In fact, I cried just now thinking about it. Then there's Vinny. I'd say he's the most normal of the bunch, if you can even use the word "normal" in correlation with the show, and I'm always rooting for him in the corner. When he got stood up (twice) by Ramona, I nearly went down to Miami beach to take care of her myself. I could talk about Angelina, but I find it really hard too because I hate her. My favorite Angelina moment was in the recent episode when she left the show for the SECOND time and Vinny said "Alright Kim Kardashian- you're more like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island you ugly bitch!" (After she had dubbed herself the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island-you don't "dub" yourself, stupid).
It hasn't been hard to suffer through the JS withdrawls, because I can watch the re-runs of Jenny and Sam ripping off each other's acrylic nails time and time again. My favorite fight was probably where Snookie fought Angelina and no one tried to break it up, they just moved furniture around them so they wouldn't break it and watched.
I don't know about you, but I can't wait till Thursday night when I can get my fix of blow-outs, poofs, and house beats once again. God bless you MTV, I am so DTF.
The cast.