(no subject)
My dear interweb readers, I want you to know how much I've missed sharing my fantastic articles with you. It's been a long time since I was regularly published. That unfortunate house arrest business rather interfered with my writing, and I was quite out of the frame of mind needed to meet my usual standards. I want all of you to know that I hope to return to regular reporting in the near future. Too much is happening in our world to go any longer without a Skeeter exclusive! I'm sure you've especially missed my exposés on that most eccentric and bizarre of headmasters, and that mad boy who's always in the papers.
But I have to tell you, friends, that I've had good reason not to publish for this time. You see, I realised that something was missing from my life. Something felt incomplete and wrong about me.
I decided to try new things to see if they would bring me fulfilment. I first tried infiltrating the Muggle world as something called a "meter maid," and it was very enjoyable at first to scribble scratching notes to the Muggles about their violations of the law, but it was just too dirty and noisy. Then I tried to write a weather almanac, but the publishers told me there's little buyer interest in predictions for eight years from now. (Mark my words, dears, it will be a busy season!) This infuriated me so I might've gone round the bend again for a bit. Sorry, Japan!
No, what I needed wasn't a change of circumstance! What I needed was a change in self of the most dramatic kind! My dears, you will soon see a glorious new me, more glamorous than ever!
That's right-- I'm in the middle of TransFigure Surgery. I'm transitioning!
This is nothing to be ashamed of! I know there's a certain stigma associated with it, but I want to assure all of you that it's fantastic and all of you should try it! Nobody is so perfect that they can't do without a little tweaking! Elder warlocks, why should your age be a barrier to your social life? Young ladies, why wait until you finish growing to grow yourself the chest you've always wanted? Gendermagi, have you ever wished your halves were more like each other? TransFigure Surgery is fun for the whole family!
I'll of course be getting the lasiktatious charm, but I can still enjoy my favourite frames without the lenses in them. Soon I'll be able to show you the final results of my lardum amputo and vultum leviosa, but in the meantime, I would like to share something to help show the process so hopefully some of the fear is taken away from you! There's no reason not to get some work done, no reason at all!
Keep in mind that this reporter is in the middle of the process, so she'll look quite different when all is finished! As you can see, even this in-between time comes with an exciting wardrobe and new opportunities. Just imagine what it'll be like when I'm finished!
I appreciate any well wishes you send me as I finish transitioning!
Skeeter Says: Muggle surgeries of this nature involve "plastiques." They call it plastique surgery. Often, bones are broken to reshape them, without any potions or charms to dull the pain. Sometimes they even put pouches of fluid in their chests to improve their bosoms. Thankfully we are above this barbarism!
But I have to tell you, friends, that I've had good reason not to publish for this time. You see, I realised that something was missing from my life. Something felt incomplete and wrong about me.
I decided to try new things to see if they would bring me fulfilment. I first tried infiltrating the Muggle world as something called a "meter maid," and it was very enjoyable at first to scribble scratching notes to the Muggles about their violations of the law, but it was just too dirty and noisy. Then I tried to write a weather almanac, but the publishers told me there's little buyer interest in predictions for eight years from now. (Mark my words, dears, it will be a busy season!) This infuriated me so I might've gone round the bend again for a bit. Sorry, Japan!
No, what I needed wasn't a change of circumstance! What I needed was a change in self of the most dramatic kind! My dears, you will soon see a glorious new me, more glamorous than ever!
That's right-- I'm in the middle of TransFigure Surgery. I'm transitioning!
This is nothing to be ashamed of! I know there's a certain stigma associated with it, but I want to assure all of you that it's fantastic and all of you should try it! Nobody is so perfect that they can't do without a little tweaking! Elder warlocks, why should your age be a barrier to your social life? Young ladies, why wait until you finish growing to grow yourself the chest you've always wanted? Gendermagi, have you ever wished your halves were more like each other? TransFigure Surgery is fun for the whole family!
I'll of course be getting the lasiktatious charm, but I can still enjoy my favourite frames without the lenses in them. Soon I'll be able to show you the final results of my lardum amputo and vultum leviosa, but in the meantime, I would like to share something to help show the process so hopefully some of the fear is taken away from you! There's no reason not to get some work done, no reason at all!
Keep in mind that this reporter is in the middle of the process, so she'll look quite different when all is finished! As you can see, even this in-between time comes with an exciting wardrobe and new opportunities. Just imagine what it'll be like when I'm finished!
I appreciate any well wishes you send me as I finish transitioning!
Skeeter Says: Muggle surgeries of this nature involve "plastiques." They call it plastique surgery. Often, bones are broken to reshape them, without any potions or charms to dull the pain. Sometimes they even put pouches of fluid in their chests to improve their bosoms. Thankfully we are above this barbarism!