Closing Walls and Ticking Clocks [diva_off version]
TITLE: closing walls and ticking clocks
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: None
CHARACTERS/PAIRINGS: Jesse, Jesse/Rachel, Finn/Rachel
PROMPTS USED: #3) Alarm Clock
Life at UCLA is different.
Instead of snowy trees, there are sandy beaches. The people are different. Natives of LA are far more in tune with their culture than anyone back in Akron could imagine, with their debates on Wicked: musical vs. book, fangirling over Broadway legends, and impromptu sing-offs (although that may be due to the crowd he keeps).
Needless to say, Jesse St. James fits in.
But there is something Los Angeles doesn’t have that Ohio does, and it takes only a moment to remember all he has lost.
--
He’s unpacking on his first day there when he comes across it.
Jesse is not a sentimental person-he’s not-but seeing the musical note alarm clock nestled in between his Stephen Sondheim collection and competition trophies causes a slight smile. It was the very last gift Rachel gave him. “You’ll need one in college,” she’d told him. “Whenever you look at this, you’ll think of me and my unparalleled talent.”
While her words had gotten a chuckle out of him in the moment, they come back to haunt him. As he gazes down at the oddly shaped electronic, a slight smile has turned into a blank look. All his mind can imagine is deep brown hair, pouty red lips and an idealistic enthusiasm that ensnared anyone who was willing to listen.
The alarm clock is stuffed in a drawer to be (hopefully) forgotten.
--
It’s no surprise to find him in the center of attention. Jesse St. James has a charisma to him that charms even the coldest at heart, and so he finds himself with large groups of people around him at all times.
One morning, as he tries to eat his undercooked eggs without thoughts of her, the topic of high-school romance pops up into conversation.
Jesse almost chokes when Alexandra passes off the question to him.
He just shrugs, hopefully not giving anything away, as he focuses hard on his eggs. Rachel Berry is his little secret.
--
Finals loom as the semester draws to a close, and Jesse attaches himself to his computer to study. But a stray link detailing Ohio’s 2011 Midwestern Sectionals proves to be his distraction.
The article itself is small, stating a unanimous vote for New Directions, the page at the mercy of a large photo of the group. In the middle are Rachel and Finn, holding each other as much as they are the trophy. Seeing in full color what should have been obvious in hindsight has his jaw clench before abruptly closing the page.
The alarm clock somehow makes its way onto Jesse’s bedside table that night- but not for any practical reason. No, he takes it out to watch the tiny metal hands tick as the seconds pass, all the while wondering what the hell did he do?
--
The morning after, Jesse belts louder, kicks harder, and dances better than he has his entire term at UCLA. Instructors give him odd looks before praising his hard work. Classmates just watch on with dour expressions.
Jesse St. James is nothing if not dramatic.
--
Shelby is the only one he stays in contact with.
Her e-mails are brief, based around anecdotes about Beth and how motherhood is working out- never about what they should be talking about. The subject is an unspoken taboo. He’s all too happy to keep it that way.
So when Jesse receives a novel length e-mail near the end of the school year, he is wary. It’s his luck that it is mostly about her impending return to coach Vocal Adrenaline (they’re such a mess without me, it’s like watching those deaf kids all over again).
In fact, it’s not until the end that she manages to sneak it past him-intentional or not, he’s not certain-that McKinley’s golden couple has parted days after Regionals. Shelby states “irreconcilable differences.”
It’s not much, but a small bit of hope blooms in his chest.
He buys his plane ticket back to Ohio hours later.
--
New Directions performs admirably at Nationals. They still receive third place, but by the looks of everyone on the team, it’s enough to be there.
Well, almost everyone.
Jesse is leaning against the wall on the other side of the hallway when Rachel exits the dressing room, muttering to herself about favoritism. He has to stifle a chuckle. And when he calls out, she freezes before turning around, fixing her eyes on him as if she wasn’t completely certain he was really there.
So he makes the first move. “Your rendition of The Way We Were was flawed,” Jesse informs her. “You still completely lack Barbra’s emotional depth.”
When her face falls into that predictably adorable pout, red lips and all, he adds into her ear, “But you’re still the most talented person I know. Next to me, of course. Oh, and I kept my alarm clock. Just so you know.”
For some reason, she smiles.
And he thinks, maybe this is his second chance.