Fic: Everything Passing By Is Not Coming Back
Title: Everything Passing By Is Not Coming Back
Spoilers: through 9x22 Salvation
Rating: PG (for references to death)
A/N: Chloe's perspective during the "I love you" scene. Title from Vast's "Everything Passing By Is Not Coming Back". 303 words.
He says he loves her and it’s in that moment she knows how truly bad it is. He knows she’s terrified - that she won’t be enough for him, doesn’t deserve him, that people in the superhero biz don’t get happy endings, they get dead loves, and that she more than anyone isn’t fit for a normal relationship. He wanted to say it, was on the verge of saying it for the past two months but he knew she couldn’t hear it without wanting to run so he would just smile softly with that look in his eyes. The fact that he says it now means she’s losing him and she hates herself because she realizes in this moment that not saying it before doesn’t make it any less true, won’t make it hurt any less.
She says it back but it feels cold, sounds like goodbye.
She wants to scream, pull her hair out, but she’s too numb for even that. Maybe she’ll sink down into herself, stare into space like her mother and pray for a death that only seems to take everything she loves, leaves her whole and hollow.
It took everything she had to pick herself up after Jimmy, after Davis’ betrayal. She moved through the world like a ghost, barely there, holding on for reasons she didn’t even fully understand.
He was just supposed to be a distraction, a way to forget who she was. He wasn’t supposed to make her laugh and wish for more.
She wasn’t supposed to find herself in him.
She knew better, knew the cost of letting someone get that close, but despite all her rules he’s inside her - his scent embedded in her skin, his goofy smile every time she uses a spoon.
He doesn’t scream.
And it’s the silence that breaks her.
Spoilers: through 9x22 Salvation
Rating: PG (for references to death)
A/N: Chloe's perspective during the "I love you" scene. Title from Vast's "Everything Passing By Is Not Coming Back". 303 words.
He says he loves her and it’s in that moment she knows how truly bad it is. He knows she’s terrified - that she won’t be enough for him, doesn’t deserve him, that people in the superhero biz don’t get happy endings, they get dead loves, and that she more than anyone isn’t fit for a normal relationship. He wanted to say it, was on the verge of saying it for the past two months but he knew she couldn’t hear it without wanting to run so he would just smile softly with that look in his eyes. The fact that he says it now means she’s losing him and she hates herself because she realizes in this moment that not saying it before doesn’t make it any less true, won’t make it hurt any less.
She says it back but it feels cold, sounds like goodbye.
She wants to scream, pull her hair out, but she’s too numb for even that. Maybe she’ll sink down into herself, stare into space like her mother and pray for a death that only seems to take everything she loves, leaves her whole and hollow.
It took everything she had to pick herself up after Jimmy, after Davis’ betrayal. She moved through the world like a ghost, barely there, holding on for reasons she didn’t even fully understand.
He was just supposed to be a distraction, a way to forget who she was. He wasn’t supposed to make her laugh and wish for more.
She wasn’t supposed to find herself in him.
She knew better, knew the cost of letting someone get that close, but despite all her rules he’s inside her - his scent embedded in her skin, his goofy smile every time she uses a spoon.
He doesn’t scream.
And it’s the silence that breaks her.