think I've said this at least 17 million times already
quite by surprise, I found myself camping with Skippy, Jon, Bill, Marielle and crew two nights ago. I really enjoyed talking with Jon and Skip until three in the morning (the getting stalked by the park ranger, less so, but eh). I love my super-comfortable best mates from Goucher.
is it terribly odd that I'm kind of dreading going back to Goucher? I love the place. but I'm enjoying doing my own thing and pursuing my own projects, and there's no way any of that will continue. I love the way I feel when I'm in class - thinking hard, working hard and excelling at it - (I haven't felt much of that since before going to England), but I hate the way my stress always starts snowballing and after a few weeks of class, clubs and homework I'm exhausted, overworked, tense and snippy. and this is the last year, so I already feel scared and sad that the life I've grown to love is never going to be the same after this. that's not even mentioning how worried I am that one or more developments in the drama I call my life is going to end in a bloodbath.
this semester is going to be an exercise in staying upbeat. I've made a lot of positive changes in my life and attitude, but I can't entirely shake the feeling that I'm playing them out more than embodying them. we all have our different selves for different situations, I guess... I just worry about how easy it is to be the person I always am when I'm around the people I'm always with.
anyway, I'll see you all in two weeks. let's stay happy and make it count, eh?
is it terribly odd that I'm kind of dreading going back to Goucher? I love the place. but I'm enjoying doing my own thing and pursuing my own projects, and there's no way any of that will continue. I love the way I feel when I'm in class - thinking hard, working hard and excelling at it - (I haven't felt much of that since before going to England), but I hate the way my stress always starts snowballing and after a few weeks of class, clubs and homework I'm exhausted, overworked, tense and snippy. and this is the last year, so I already feel scared and sad that the life I've grown to love is never going to be the same after this. that's not even mentioning how worried I am that one or more developments in the drama I call my life is going to end in a bloodbath.
this semester is going to be an exercise in staying upbeat. I've made a lot of positive changes in my life and attitude, but I can't entirely shake the feeling that I'm playing them out more than embodying them. we all have our different selves for different situations, I guess... I just worry about how easy it is to be the person I always am when I'm around the people I'm always with.
anyway, I'll see you all in two weeks. let's stay happy and make it count, eh?