All Good Things Must Come to an End.
Well there's about two and a half months of school left and the countdown seems to go faster and faster by the minute. I can't say that the thought of summer is comforting to me because in reality it is the complete opposite. The end of school means many things for me:
1) I won't have school with my Senior friends anymore (except for possibly college).
2) Because they'll be going off to college who know when I will get to see them.
3) I will be an official Senior.....who will be 19......
4) I'm just that much closer to going over the edge because I have to deal with another round of Freshmen and interact with Sophomores.
Really I'm not worried so much about age because I've dealt with Freshmen this year and made some pretty good friends. The only thing I worry about is how I have to meet them, which is in a classroom where I'm sure they all want to stick together in their cliques (hey I'd do the same thing).
5) I have to really start figuring out what I want to do for my SSE (Senior Seminar Exhibition) this is my one big worry because if I mess this up then I'm screwed and another year of high school will be coming my way!
Really I won't mind having to come back to school another year. I like school and although I'll be coming back as an over aged Senior that is the least of my worries. All I want is to find cool people, get good grades and enjoy my hopefully final year of high school. I know it will be stressful, I know I'm gonna freak out but as long as I don't have to worry about people starring at me and making fun because I'm held back then all is well.
I know these things are all stuff that I myself can just push away and not even give a second thought to but it's hard when all you want is to fit in and everyone else just wants to point and laugh. I shouldn't care and you always hear the adults saying, "You're not here to make friends. You're here to work." which is true but you're always gonna need someone to talk to and there will always be those times where the teachers say, "Okay get into pairs." or "get into groups." Then what? How can you say that having a friend in that moment won't matter?
All I know is I'm gonna try. I've screwed up so many things in my life by throwing away the chances that could give me an advantage in life but no more! It will be true. Next year I will be there to work but also I will be there to learn how to get passed all that awkwardness, judgment, low self-esteem crap that I always seem to bring back with me every year. I mean look at me now. My first Junior year was a rough start and I had really no one but I came out of it with friends and good experiences. It wasn't a complete disaster like every other year before it. So why can't the same be said about next year? Well it can. I just need to suck it up and whatever happens happens. I can't let it bring me down. And if I do happen to get beat down then I just need to learn to get back up fighting the whole way. I will not let my issues get in the way of my graduation. I may not graduate on time but I will graduate none the less.
1) I won't have school with my Senior friends anymore (except for possibly college).
2) Because they'll be going off to college who know when I will get to see them.
3) I will be an official Senior.....who will be 19......
4) I'm just that much closer to going over the edge because I have to deal with another round of Freshmen and interact with Sophomores.
Really I'm not worried so much about age because I've dealt with Freshmen this year and made some pretty good friends. The only thing I worry about is how I have to meet them, which is in a classroom where I'm sure they all want to stick together in their cliques (hey I'd do the same thing).
5) I have to really start figuring out what I want to do for my SSE (Senior Seminar Exhibition) this is my one big worry because if I mess this up then I'm screwed and another year of high school will be coming my way!
Really I won't mind having to come back to school another year. I like school and although I'll be coming back as an over aged Senior that is the least of my worries. All I want is to find cool people, get good grades and enjoy my hopefully final year of high school. I know it will be stressful, I know I'm gonna freak out but as long as I don't have to worry about people starring at me and making fun because I'm held back then all is well.
I know these things are all stuff that I myself can just push away and not even give a second thought to but it's hard when all you want is to fit in and everyone else just wants to point and laugh. I shouldn't care and you always hear the adults saying, "You're not here to make friends. You're here to work." which is true but you're always gonna need someone to talk to and there will always be those times where the teachers say, "Okay get into pairs." or "get into groups." Then what? How can you say that having a friend in that moment won't matter?
All I know is I'm gonna try. I've screwed up so many things in my life by throwing away the chances that could give me an advantage in life but no more! It will be true. Next year I will be there to work but also I will be there to learn how to get passed all that awkwardness, judgment, low self-esteem crap that I always seem to bring back with me every year. I mean look at me now. My first Junior year was a rough start and I had really no one but I came out of it with friends and good experiences. It wasn't a complete disaster like every other year before it. So why can't the same be said about next year? Well it can. I just need to suck it up and whatever happens happens. I can't let it bring me down. And if I do happen to get beat down then I just need to learn to get back up fighting the whole way. I will not let my issues get in the way of my graduation. I may not graduate on time but I will graduate none the less.