(no subject)
I think i'm going through a mid-mid life crisis...if there even is such a thing. I mean, jus look at me...i have nothing, no education...no plans for the future, no secured future...i jus feel like the biggest space-waster in the world. I also feel that if i don't do anything soon, then there will be no hope for me in the future. First things first, i need to work on getting my education...cuz no one in their right mind is gonna wanna settle down and marry a highschool drop-out, trust me...i already found that out the hard way, and also because i'd hate for my children to be raised the way i was...but let's not get into that...
...Everynight i lay in bed and jus start thinking...thinking about what i can and could be doing, and thinking about other things...negative things, the things that really bring me down and make me realize i'm a loser and a doormat that everyone just loves to step on. I don't need this shit...this is the shit that's been bringing me, and keeping me down...everyday i have to put up with it, and i hate it...this is where i need my friends, but i just feel that they don't enjoy my company like they use to. I know they have lives of their own, and i can't blame them for not always having time...but i don't feel like they are trying to find time to hang out with me, as i'm trying to find time for them...i know it's sounds a lil selfish, but i'm jus writing what i'm feeling. Maybe i'm crazy for thinking that, or maybe it's crazy that it might in one way or another....be true, i dunno. Everytime i have time to hang out, i always try to reach them...but for the most part, i never do, then i find out on here that they were already out and about, and i ask why didn't they ask if i wanted to come, and they just say cuz they can't get a hold of me...cuz i have no phone, that's understandable...but is it taking too much time to just stop and knock for me to see if i'm there? i dunno, i'm starting to sound a lil self-centered, so i'm gonna stop...
...I jus have way too much on my mind right now, and it's all coming in soo fast, i'm getting confused, and i don't know where to start...i jus hope everything gets better for me soon before it's too late...
...Everynight i lay in bed and jus start thinking...thinking about what i can and could be doing, and thinking about other things...negative things, the things that really bring me down and make me realize i'm a loser and a doormat that everyone just loves to step on. I don't need this shit...this is the shit that's been bringing me, and keeping me down...everyday i have to put up with it, and i hate it...this is where i need my friends, but i just feel that they don't enjoy my company like they use to. I know they have lives of their own, and i can't blame them for not always having time...but i don't feel like they are trying to find time to hang out with me, as i'm trying to find time for them...i know it's sounds a lil selfish, but i'm jus writing what i'm feeling. Maybe i'm crazy for thinking that, or maybe it's crazy that it might in one way or another....be true, i dunno. Everytime i have time to hang out, i always try to reach them...but for the most part, i never do, then i find out on here that they were already out and about, and i ask why didn't they ask if i wanted to come, and they just say cuz they can't get a hold of me...cuz i have no phone, that's understandable...but is it taking too much time to just stop and knock for me to see if i'm there? i dunno, i'm starting to sound a lil self-centered, so i'm gonna stop...
...I jus have way too much on my mind right now, and it's all coming in soo fast, i'm getting confused, and i don't know where to start...i jus hope everything gets better for me soon before it's too late...