have you ever thought until your head hurt?

[insanelynormal]

right about now...my entire life is shit.
i don't like most of my friends
i don't like school
i don't like my family
i don't like these stupid situations i get myself into
i don't like myself.

and that makes me sad.
and i don't feel like complaining
because I do that an awful lot
i know that because i have friends who don't mind pointing out my faults
thanks guys you've been a great help
in making me wonder why i was your friend to begin with.
i deal with a lot of shit from a lot of people
but i am done with it.

i hate not liking myself
i hate second guessing myself
i hate not knowing who i can and can't trust
i hate waiting for things

i thought things would get better after the play ended
i was thinking i would wake up this morning with a sense of relief
no such luck.
Barrett slept over last night, it was good to see him
i missed him a lot

maybe going to west virginia this week won't be a bad thing
it'll help me escape for a bit
that is if i can avoid any family disputes
but unfortunately any portion of my family in one spot usually results in an altercation
especially when it involves me and shannon
jesus, she is a bitch.
or maybe i'm the bitch.
i don't even know anymore.

this entry wasn't even a mad rant
it was just a depressing realization.