(no subject)
Title: Card Captor Kotori: Prologue
Fandom: X/Tokyo Babylon (fused with Card Captor Sakura)
Pairing: Hahaha too many to count. In the prologue, there's Seishirou/Subaru. We'll leave it at that for now, shall we?
Genre: Jumps around from sap to humour to action to angst and occasionally to smut... lots of genres? :D?
Word Count: Well, the prologue is 645. The whole thing isn't finished; I am in fact about halfway through part 2 out of a lot of parts, and it's already up to 20000 words. *halo*
Notes: So okay, this was originally spawned by the most minor and silly of ideas; I was reading the CCS manga and in the bit where it says Nadeshiko was 16 and Fujitaka 25 when they got married my mind latched onto the fact that this was like Seishirou and Subaru! Well, uh, if they'd gotten married. And Seishirou had actually been a dorky vetinarian instead of an evil heartless assassin, but you know what I mean. And my friends rolled their eyes and patted me on the head indulgently-- "yes, that's nice, Siobhan, have you been taking your meds?" And I was all, no, d00d, how excellent would that be? Nadeshiko!Subaru and Fujitaka!Seishirou! Who would be Sakura and Touya? Of course I didn't want to kill Subaru, so Nadeshiko was still alive... And what was going to be a short, silly ficlet started to explode like the Big Bang when I was discussing with aforementioned friends Kotori as Sakura and the Dragons as the cards until what was supposed to be a little piece of schmultzy fluff became this massive THING with angst and the Tree and Kotori as the main character and not even, like a tenth of the way through at 20K. Um. Yeah.
But secretly, you know, it's still all about the Seishirou/Subaru. And maybe the lesbians. <<
Summary: So okay, let's rewind a bit. Let's say Seishirou isn't a heartless assassin, and the first time he met Subaru occurred in rather different circumstances. Let's play around with the background of X and hey, why don't we make Kotori the main character while we're at it and see what we get? Yes, that's right, EPIC CCS FUSION.
PROLOGUE
I'm in love with Seishirou-san.
Subaru stands frozen, trembling hand pressed against the door to the hospital room and cheeks damp with the tears he hasn't wiped away. He stares blankly at the door, unseeing and unaware of the tears still falling; he's terrified, petrified, completely and utterly devastated. To call this revelation crushing would not be an exaggeration. Subaru feels it intensely, painful and suffocating as though it were a physical blow.
He's sure that this is the kind of thing you're supposed to realise gradually, and he wonders how he could ever have missed it before. How he could have been so stupid, not to notice when Seishirou became such an important part of his life. Why now? Why like this?
And once again all he can think is, what if he hates me now?
He spends an eternity of indecision there with his shaking hand to the door and his sightless eyes blurred with tears, two fears warring for dominance. I couldn't bear not seeing Seishirou-san again. I couldn't bear it if Seishirou-san hated me.
Maybe he really would have stood there forever, or at least until one of the orderlies had thrown him out, if Seishirou hadn't opened the door, causing Subaru to stumble into him and blush brilliant red.
"Subaru-kun," Seishirou says dryly, hands lifting to Subaru's shoulders to steady him, "were you going to come in? Or did you just come to visit the door?"
"S-Seishirou-san! I, you, how did you--"
You don't hate me.
"It would be pretty hard not to feel such a gloomy atmosphere hovering around outside my door," he teases kindly, and Subaru has to force himself to look up, flinching at the bandage covering half of Seishirou's face.
"Seishirou-san, I… I…"
Why don't you hate me?
"I'm sorry!" Subaru wails, hands curling into fists against Seishirou's chest. "It's my fault, it should have been me and now you're hurt and you should hate me, Seishirou-san, why don't you hate me--"
"Subaru-kun," Seishirou says gently, holding Subaru away at arm's length. "I could never hate you. Why should I blame you? I chose to protect you, after all. I've told you, haven't I? It's because you're my most important person."
Subaru's heart stutters, skips a beat, and he stares up at Seishirou stunned. It's not that Seishirou has never said he loves Subaru; he's said it again and again, over the last year. It's the way he said it that's different, because before he's always said it jokingly. He's never looked at Subaru in such a serious way, never said words like that so meaningfully, and this time it's not something that can be passed off as just teasing. Subaru is flooded with so many different feelings of fear and elation and shock that he doesn't know how to react, and so he doesn't react at all.
Seishirou is watching him closely, unbandaged eye serious behind his glasses for once. "Tell me, Subaru-kun. Do you love me?"
"Yes," says Subaru, "I do," and he flings his arms around Seishirou's neck, half laughing and half crying with his face buried against Seishirou's shoulder.
For all they care, they're in a world of their own, the only two people there. There is one other person present, though; a girl standing at the corner of the corridor, just out of view. She watches them for a moment with unreadable green eyes, and then she looks away, because watching them is painful.
She'd pushed for this. More than anything, she wants Subaru to be happy, and she knows that even though he loves her, she has never been enough. This was what she wanted for him; it's not what she wanted for herself. He's happy and she's happy for him, but she knows she's lost him.
Hokuto has to let him live his own life, now.